I used to believe in the whole twin flames/soul mate thing....

Don't get me wrong I'm not jaded....I just am ...hmmm maybe seasoned lol....anyways...I believe mature and lasting love starts not full grown and manifested but....as just a tiny seed...and with patience, respect and a little fun mixed in...it will slowly grow over time and unfold ....never complete...always evolving....

What do you think??? I'm curious to know :)

Kevin

Nope...

Love is like someone sneaking up on you with an aluminum bat and knocking the friggen schitt out of you with zero warning. You NEVER see it coming.

You want a love to start small and nurture it to grow? Get a Chia pet or a dog.

Love is an "In your face" thing that none of us can control. It is like bobsledding in an avalanche......it is thrilling and terrifying and if you make it all the way through...it is the thrill of a lifetime.

Personally, I see it more as a romantic plot device for movies, books, etc., than as anything "real."

No offence brother but, I got underwear more seasoned than you.....which reminds me that I need to take my cheap @$$ to the store and buy more underwear.

I believe it needs to grow - there is lust at first site but that can fade very quickly - I think it's hard to love someone you don't know fully. The longer your with someone, the more you learn the harder you fall or the easier you leave.

That's cause your doing it wrong bro.

One of these days, do yourself a real favor and just really take a chance. Win or lose ain't important....Having the nuts to step up and give love a real shot....just go for it man. What is the worst that could happen? ...you would end up right back here my man.

Thanks, Krupa and Lex for your honest rrply...and I agree it can be a bat lol. I have been knocked up side the head many times....but for long term...u need more than that, I believe...after the "sting" wears off lol. For me ay least, it has become more of an adventure in learning more and more and taking the time to slow down after the iniatial rush....but it is diferent for everyone I am sure...as for your old undies...ummm I sure hope u dont have any my age ..yuk! :P

That'd be fine, if there was actually someone around to take a chance on.....

Well, if one is looking for their "ideal" soul mate...they might miss the real "human" woman ...perfect in her imperfection standing right next to them in the check out line!

I like that Krup!!!!

Love is connection. Instant gratification

The relationship is what grows

or doesn't

I have experienced lost relationships, but healing from love is not so easy.

Relationships go through levels. Growing and nurturing takes work

Love never changes

Only grows stronger

And if you don't take the chance, change the stinkin thinkin, open yourself to the possibility, you'll never know love

Throw caution to the wind when you "feel" it is right. Make it your foundation. Grow the relationship from there

Hard to find

but not impossible

if you BELIEVE

No brother...that was a metaphore....I am way too busy to actually put on underwear.

Now that is it crystalized....!

Sorry...meant that for u Peekinin :)

You're the one who broke my heart, you're the reason myworld fell apart, you're the one who made me cry, yet I'mstill in love with you and I don't know why.... Heheheh just a drama,,, add me guiz new here

<<------ Not one to believe in 'soul-mates'
but i`d be happy to be wrong

Ya, but getting it intellectually and putting it in practice is the most difficult thing for us mere mortals.

Crap gets in the way

We forget to go to our cores

I read a lot about how some feel theres "no one out there" for me. The reason is their own boundaries. Its not whose looking at them, but who THEY are seeing. For example: I don't want kids, so no one wants me. Yet who are they attractive too? The other who has kids.

Perfection is over rated

Go to your core. Expand your boundaries. Be open and consider the others shine.

Then you will find your coremate

Well, this is absolutely true -- the only ones I ever hear from (outside of scammers) are the ones who have kids and who have made it their mission to tell me why I'm wrong to exclude people who have kids from my relationship preferences.

The only problem is -- I really, truly don't want anybody with kids. I'd rather be alone. There are lots of reasons for this, and I won't go into them here, but let me just say that my boundaries are in place for very good reasons (based on a history when the boundaries were few or none -- and learning from those experiences) and I'm not going to ignore all of that.

But there's another underlying fundamental problem here -- I'm not broken, and I don't need to be "fixed" or changed. And these women are taking it upon themselves to "fix" or change me. I see that as a total lack of respect and consideration for my beliefs, my preferences. And why would I want to be with someone who belittles and marginalizes my core values?

With all due respect ((((Lex)))), that's kind what I'm trying to say

Are you attracted to these woman, but the "turn off" is thier kids (or simply lying about whether they want them)?

Or the inevitable progression to "fix" you?

Some mere mortals tend to think "ok, I hear him/her, but he/she will fall so in love with me, I can change thinking/beliefs/standards"

However, I am here to say, not ALL mere mortals are the same

And it is up to us to stay away from the ones who don't "fit", Expand our horizons.

For example, I tend to pick controlling men. So far from my personality, it never works. Do I think I can change them? Naw, on the contrary, I think I can change myself. We all know how THAT works Truth is, I had to take a hard look at self. WHY am I attracted to them?

I did find the answer. And now work on changing WHO I am attracted too.

Which meant OPENING MY EYES

And the possibilities I hadn't considered before.

Again, as an example, I would be interested in someone like you. Confident in who he is, comfortable with his path, independant enough to not want/need his woman up his arze, knows his "Core"

There are many just like me out there.

Perhaps you should explore? Don't wait for her to contact you. Take a risk, be true to your core.

Well, no -- I've only been attracted to one person in the last 3 years or so, and she is completely oblivious to my existence.

The kids thing, and the lying thing, are definitely disincentives, but it never actually gets that far. I'm never attracted to them in the first place.



In the past, I have run into this a LOT -- and I find this way of thinking to be very presumptuous and demeaning. If they think I'm so malleable, so easily duped, why would they want to be with someone like that in the first place?



I'm rarely attracted to anyone anymore, and I've realized that there are (historical) reasons for that. And I'm OK with it. The bottom line is that I don't really NEED anyone in my life -- all the things I have to do, I can do just fine on my own.

Not to say that it wouldn't be nice to have someone around to do things with -- but the trade-off, at least as far as I've experienced, is simply not worth it.



I keep hearing this, but it's what you might call "anecdotal accounts." I don't see it in the real world. I mean, if you go on YouTube, you can find hundreds of women doing videos about their childfree lifestyle, but it seems these women only exist on YouTube. It's like trying to find a Yeti, or an honest politician. There are rumors, there are veiled hints, but....



If I've learned one thing from dating sites, it's that sending out first e-mails is a waste of time. I've tried it here, I've tried it on other sites, the response rate is actually somehow in negative numbers, something like -22.9% of them ever reply.

Now, as a guy who has written eight books and several shopping lists, I think I know a little something about writing. Books and shopping lists, anyway. Clearly I know nothing about writing introductory e-mails -- but my assumption was that if it was humorous, well-written, referenced things from their profiles, and didn't come across as creepo-stalkerish, someone might reply.

But no.

My strategy was to establish a presence in the forums, and then they would write to me.

And it worked -- to some degree. I mean, I get lots of messages now. Scammers, older women who want to argue about the "no kids" thing, occasionally someone who wants to ask about the books, or about writing in general. The one thing I never get is a message from someone I could see as a legitimate dating prospect.

And that's not the site's fault -- I think it's more a function of dating site clienteles in general. My theory is that, on the whole, people don't resort to dating sites until they're at a point in their lives which is beyond the point when I would have been interested. So the "starting point" derails any compatibility potential.