I hear from guys a lot that they're not only looking for someone to have a relationship with, but they want them to be their best friend, too. I'm guessing women do the same. To those who are also looking for their best friend, what happens to the best friends you already have? Do the people you're dating turn into your best friend and replace the one you currently have? Or, do all these people looking for best friends not actually have one already?

This always seems confusing to me.

Well, I can tell you what happened to me.. I do not think it´s going to help much...but here it goes..
I used to have a best friend, someone who was lke a sister to me, but then we just stopped seeing each other... and NOT because I had a boyfriend at the time,( it was because i got tired of calling her to get together and do things together and she never called me back)So we distanced from each other, in a way I lost that best friend

Before losing my best friend, I became friends with my boyfriend, we both did (the situation kind of helped too, cause we were almost all alone, with no friends, so we became best friends)

Friendship is something I look for in a relationship, i don´t know about the rest, but being able to trust someone is an important part in a relationship, and I think that if I can´t trust the one I love completely, then it´s not worth it...

sorry if this didn´t help much :(

Maybe they just mean they are looking for someone who they can share things with-good and bad=like they do with their best friends and at the same time feel the passion for each other as lovers do. The term best friend is being used loosely. It should read close friend for most of us already have that "best friend" that cannot be replaced. For some who don't have that relationship with another then maybe they are being quite literal and want the person they meet to be everything to them. For me, no guy would ever replace my best girlfriend because she knows me so well and understands the female way of thinking. Also she can be straight with me and tell me I am being an *** or I am totally wrong and I respect her opinion. It would take awhile for me to feel that way with someone I am dating.

I have male best friends, that are and most likely will stay best of friends, and I have female friends,
but any female I am with has the chance to become my best female friend, potentially and share in a closer relationship.

So a lover and friend gets much more time than the others in daily activities and thought...without the other friendships changing much in general

I often give that answer when men ask me what I am looking for, someone who could be my best friend, and lover,confidante,etc. next. I'm not sure I can explain this very well,but I'm going to try. To me, the next relationship I get into,I want it to be my last. Saying I want someone who could be my best friend, is a level of comfortability in that I could tell the anything and that friendship would be a strength in the relationship.I have a female best friend, and I always will, but having a partner with that same strong friendship is important to me in having a healthy/strong relationship that's solid and not just based on one specific attraction.

Well, I can tell you what happened to me.. I do not think it´s going to help much...but here it goes..
I used to have a best friend, someone who was lke a sister to me, but then we just stopped seeing each other... and NOT because I had a boyfriend at the time,( it was because i got tired of calling her to get together and do things together and she never called me back)So we distanced from each other, in a way I lost that best friend

Before losing my best friend, I became friends with my boyfriend, we both did (the situation kind of helped too, cause we were almost all alone, with no friends, so we became best friends)

Friendship is something I look for in a relationship, i don´t know about the rest, but being able to trust someone is an important part in a relationship, and I think that if I can´t trust the one I love completely, then it´s not worth it...

sorry if this didn´t help much :(

I've never told a guy I'm looking for my best friend in addition to a lover. I guess it's because I see a best friend and someone I'm in a romantic relationship with as two different things. But, I guess I can see why people would try and combine the two.

I was having a hard tie explaining, and with the hope I'm not contradicting myself, a best friend and a lover are two different things, but I think it's good to be able to become on the level of best friends first,then have a sexual relationship. At one place I worked, there was an elderly woman who's husband had been in the same room with her. They had been married for over 60 years, and he passed away maybe a year ago now. I got into a conversation with her one day, and she told me that she had a few female best friends, but her husband had been her best friend in a whole different way, on a level that she had never had with anyone else,because he had been her best friend and then her lover for many years. She told me,that what she missed more then anything,with him being gone,was friendship/companionship they had.

So you have different best friends for each sex? Interesting.

Yes, I suppose. I have groups of male and female friends, but they all have their strengths and weaknesses. Activity and thought wise. They each bring something different to my life in many ways. So I enjoy that variety. Who is actually best? That depends on the situation. None are the only and supreme best friend.

But want a close female friend, lover I can share all with. Close in thought, interests and physical, then giving them that "supreme" status, if that makes any sense.