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| Topic: "I wanna know you." | |
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I get this a lot from people who email me. They want to know me, but they're unable to ask specific questions. When I ask what they want to know, they say everything. Or they ask me to tell them about myself.
Do you ask people just to tell you about themselves? Or are you more specific about what you want to know? When people ask you those things, what do you tell them? Do you give them your life story? Do you tell them random things? |
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I give them a "kick in the butt" and move on to the next victim!!!
But seriously, if she appears interesting I throw out some broad facts about myself and then see where it goes. |
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I find that the people who ask these very vague questions have nothing in their profiles. So, it's usually hard to tell if they're interesting.
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I find that the people who ask these very vague questions have nothing in their profiles. So, it's usually hard to tell if they're interesting. Well, I guess a "kick in the butt" is in order then :) |
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No way, man. Nudges give people the wrong idea.
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Good point
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Well I have found when you ask a less specific question, you can actually infer more about the individual by how they choose to answer or by what their answer may be. You can not do this as much when the questions are very specific and to the point.
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Well I have found when you ask a less specific question, you can actually infer more about the individual by how they choose to answer or by what their answer may be. You can not do this as much when the questions are very specific and to the point. What's an example of what you'd ask and what you'd hope to be the response? To me, saying "tell me about yourself" tells me that the guy cannot come up with something to chat about and doesn't know how to start the conversation. |
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"I wanna know you." It's a blanket statement to elicit anything they can, without the effort of thinking up a real query. I never ask any questions because I must then rely on them, for me to hear the truth..and early on, that trust does not yet exist. Easier to place them by..their actions and words when not under pressure, a great tool the forums provide. I will answer anything asked of me, in a general way, more likely I will get them talking about themselves. That feels more natural :-) |
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I like it when I've interacted with someone in the forums, then they email me with a specific question or comment...at least it's not from out of the blue yonder that way. lol.
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Usually I ask specific questions abut what ever caught my eye in their profile, or whatever I wanted to discuss more from the forums.
Much of the time it involves music. If I am asked that sort of question, I never really know what to say, and tend to give really generic answers to a very generic question or request. |
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I get this a lot from people who email me. They want to know me, but they're unable to ask specific questions. When I ask what they want to know, they say everything. Or they ask me to tell them about myself. Do you ask people just to tell you about themselves? Or are you more specific about what you want to know? When people ask you those things, what do you tell them? Do you give them your life story? Do you tell them random things? Yeah nah...I've decided there are 2 kinds of chatters. Those that entertain, and those that want to be entertained. I'll mess with the latter if I'm in the mood too, otherwise they can jog on if I'm not. |
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I get this a lot from people who email me. They want to know me, but they're unable to ask specific questions. When I ask what they want to know, they say everything. Or they ask me to tell them about myself. Do you ask people just to tell you about themselves? Or are you more specific about what you want to know? When people ask you those things, what do you tell them? Do you give them your life story? Do you tell them random things? I think they want to know you in the biblical sense!!
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Yeah, questions like that generally lead nowhere...
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Yeah, questions like that generally lead nowhere... Yes, exactly. Those who ask those questions tend not to be able to help keep a conversation. |
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I like it when I've interacted with someone in the forums, then they email me with a specific question or comment...at least it's not from out of the blue yonder that way. lol. I don't mind at all if a stranger contacts me. They don't have to be from the forums. |
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i usually ask open ended questions, which can't really be answered with a yes or no and then let them yap away. I also tend to be a good storyteller mixing a little hyperbole to the truth as poetic license. Depending the person, ie- do I like them or am I trying to get rid of them leads to story into the direction it goes.
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JMO.
I've wound up conversing and getting to know intimately, a couple people here from a simple "Hi there" email. I've sent 'em and been sent them. Getting to know someone isn't always about eventually hooking up. We sometimes just have general conversations and other times it can be about some tough time they or I am going through. I've also been getting to know someone and realized there was nothing in common. Those relations just faded. I tell a little at a time. And ask them a little about who they are. If, I was seriously looking for an LTR, and not a pen-pal, I'd look for someone within a few miles, look for someone willing to relocate or look in an area I had plans on relocating to. PS. It always helps to tell the truth. If it ever became serious, a little lie could end it in a heartbeat. Great topic, Sing. |
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Hi Singmesweet,
those are annoying lazy attempts, aren't they? If there is nothing else in their message I usually ignore them. But now that I think about it and you get me started I want to say to them, “Okay, I’m listening.” If they say “everything” it would be fun to create a 16 page made up template pretending to tell my life story in the most boring way possible. You will not hear from them again. :))) That was fun. But really, as hustler already pointed out, I’d delete and sigh. |
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JMO. I've wound up conversing and getting to know intimately, a couple people here from a simple "Hi there" email. I've sent 'em and been sent them. Getting to know someone isn't always about eventually hooking up. We sometimes just have general conversations and other times it can be about some tough time they or I am going through. I've also been getting to know someone and realized there was nothing in common. Those relations just faded. I tell a little at a time. And ask them a little about who they are. If, I was seriously looking for an LTR, and not a pen-pal, I'd look for someone within a few miles, look for someone willing to relocate or look in an area I had plans on relocating to. PS. It always helps to tell the truth. If it ever became serious, a little lie could end it in a heartbeat. Great topic, Sing. I'll respond to "hi" emails. I like to see if they have more to say after that. But, if nothing comes from it, the emails won't go on for long. If I'm contacting someone for the first time, I either comment on something they've said in the forums, or something in their profile that has caught my interest. If I don't give them something to talk about, I can't expect them to carry the conversation for me. So, I expect the same amount of effort from those who contact me. |
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