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| Topic: Is saying, "I Love You", ever wrong? | |
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Do these three words, “I Love You”, hold some kind of magic power that can change a person’s life overnight?
Or is it only the lonely hearts club band that knows the tune to this song, and how these three words can string people along?  Is saying, “I love you”, ever wrong? |
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hmmmm...good question.
It's never wrong when it is said with honesty and sincerity. It's only wrong when it is said if that's what the person wants to hear. |
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Saying "I love you" is IMHO always wrong. Once those words are uttered aloud the demands are soon to follow.
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it is wrong to say what you dont mean
it is wrong to string people along if one says 'i love you' under such circumstances, they are being 'wrong' |
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Do these three words, “I Love You”, hold some kind of magic power that can change a person’s life overnight? Or is it only the lonely hearts club band that knows the tune to this song, and how these three words can string people along? Is saying, “I love you”, ever wrong? Definitely something you don't want to be to forward with. A time thing is love. 
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Is saying, “I love you”, ever wrong? Yeah, if you don't feel it or if the other person wants to badly to hear it. |
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It's only wrong when it is said if that's what the person wants to hear. This if my deepest questioning... kahurangi... so we are able to use these words as a tool to get what we want from others? |
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Once those words are uttered aloud the demands are soon to follow. yes, TexasScoundrel... the way you so easily define cause and effect opens my eyes... to why I have never looked at this as uncomplicated as you have stated it here and now... thank you for simplifying this issue for me... |
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it is wrong to say what you dont mean it is wrong to string people along if one says 'i love you' under such circumstances, they are being 'wrong' thank you, msharmony... for stating the obvious with such clarity... |
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Edited by
AthenaRose2
on
Mon 02/04/13 01:36 AM
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Definitely something you don't want to be to forward with. A time thing is love. I like how you put a hopeful spin on this, zim... or maybe it's just the hearts flashing from the eyes thing that gives that illusion... :) but... it's all about timing... yeah.. I get that too... |
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Is saying, “I love you”, ever wrong? Yeah, if the other person wants to badly to hear it. Enkoodabaoo... this makes me really think... that we can actually use these words as a way to control and even punish another... by withholding what they want most... cunning... yes.. I get this... |
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Is saying, “I love you”, ever wrong? Yeah, if the other person wants to badly to hear it. Enkoodabaoo... this makes me really think... that we can actually use these words as a way to control and even punish another... by withholding what they want most... cunning... yes.. I get this... That ain't what I'm saying. |
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I think one's sanity level can be affected by those words. One of my residents knows that if she says it to me it gets a faster response to her manipulative ability.
 She is very impatient and the whole staff gets into telling her to be patient to the extent that she sounds like a parrot. To counter effect the rest of them telling her 'be patient' and her saying 'be patient' to herself I have told her that if she ever gets tired of being patient that she can 'be resident'. Like most of my humor with the dementia people who don't get my humor I get to enjoy a lot of good humor with myself.
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Is saying, “I love you”, ever wrong? Yeah, if the other person wants to badly to hear it. Enkoodabaoo... this makes me really think... that we can actually use these words as a way to control and even punish another... by withholding what they want most... cunning... yes.. I get this... That ain't what I'm saying. You can see how it could be interpreted that way too, right? If you care to expound on your meaning, I'd like to know more... |
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Edited by
OkiHeadDoctor
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Mon 02/04/13 04:56 AM
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Athena - yes it is wrong if you don't fully understand what it means to yourself AND the other person.
I love you <to me> means I forgive your imperfections and pray you forgive mine. I want to be with you and only you in that way which implies we are a team. I want you to respect my feelings as I will respect yours. Let's move forward with the understanding that we may not agree on every little thing, but we will decide things together. Okay my cynicism is on a break, and my soft underside has been exposed; can we not speak of satan's call (I love you) ever again please!!!? 
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I think one's sanity level can be affected by those words. One of my residents knows that if she says it to me it gets a faster response to her manipulative ability. She is very impatient and the whole staff gets into telling her to be patient to the extent that she sounds like a parrot. To counter effect the rest of them telling her 'be patient' and her saying 'be patient' to herself I have told her that if she ever gets tired of being patient that she can 'be resident'. Like most of my humor with the dementia people who don't get my humor I get to enjoy a lot of good humor with myself. I've finally had the pleasure of meeting "the good humor man"... ;)... cool.. I can't wait to hear more... hehehe But seriously... RainbowTrout... I can see how a person's sanity can be affected when they discover they are being manipulated into believing an illusion that can cause severe confusion to the other's amusement. Thanks for this different spin... more food for thought... |
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You can see how it could be interpreted that way too, right? If you care to expound on your meaning, I'd like to know more... If someone wants to hear it too badly, I think you should be more cautious about saying it. Someone who wants it so badly is probably in what you call a vulnerable emotional state, it's a bad idea to say it before you are 110% sure. |
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Athena - yes it is wrong if you don't fully understand what it means to yourself AND the other person. I love you <to me> means I forgive your imperfections and pray you forgive mine. I want to be with you and only you in that way which implies we are a team. I want you to respect my feelings as I will respect yours. Let's move forward with the understanding that we may not agree on every little thing, but we will decide things together. Okay my cynicism is on a break, and my soft underside has been exposed; can we not speak of satan's call (I love you) ever again please!!!? No problem, Doc... :) ... thank you for painting a much clearer picture for me to understand the depth of what these three little words mean... to you... and the big affect they can have on our attitudes... satan's call, though... never heard love portrayed in this way... but if this is truly the case, these words with this kind of power should not be spoken of again... I agree... and once again... thank you for sharing... I enjoy going deeper and deeper into subjects to find out their true meaning... |
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You can see how it could be interpreted that way too, right? If you care to expound on your meaning, I'd like to know more... If someone wants to hear it too badly, I think you should be more cautious about saying it. Someone who wants it so badly is probably in what you call a vulnerable emotional state, it's a bad idea to say it before you are 110% sure. Okay, I think I see it more clearly now. So, in the scenario that you speak, two people have become close enough that their feelings can border on love, but, if one of them is just relying on this deeper level of commitment to help ease emotional weakness, or as a means to latch on to a fresh connection, they both should wait to see if they are truly invested first? I'm not trying to be difficult, I only want to understand. Because with wisdom comes strength.. |
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You can see how it could be interpreted that way too, right? If you care to expound on your meaning, I'd like to know more... If someone wants to hear it too badly, I think you should be more cautious about saying it. Someone who wants it so badly is probably in what you call a vulnerable emotional state, it's a bad idea to say it before you are 110% sure. Okay, I think I see it more clearly now. So, in the scenario that you speak, two people have become close enough that their feelings can border on love, but, if one of them is just relying on this deeper level of commitment to help ease emotional weakness, or as a means to latch on to a fresh connection, they both should wait to see if they are truly invested first? I'm not trying to be difficult, I only want to understand. Because with wisdom comes strength.. Eh...close enough, I don't feel like talking about it all day. |
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