Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: How to be the jerk women love.
ViaMusica Joined Sat 03/09/13 Posts: 3341	Mon 04/22/13 04:52 PM
Down-to-earth women are the ones who don't need to be complimented every second or approached with slick lines. The shallow bimbos are the ones you have to do that with. I'd have to disagree with you there. An attractive woman is approached by men all the time. Simply because she would like someone that isn't drooling all over her. Makes her laugh, Knows something the other guys do not. Doesn't make her a shallow bimbo. I think you've got my position turned around 180 degrees from what I'm actually saying. My point is that attractive women (or any women) prefer guys who aren't drooling all over them. Prefer men who make them laugh. So dropping insincere compliments and cheesy pickup lines or "busting her chops" is NOT what they want, because that isn't the way to make a woman laugh. I get hit on a lot. The guys who actually interest me do it by being interesting, not nasty, cheesy or mean.

xtreme305 Joined Sun 04/14/13 Posts: 388	Mon 04/22/13 05:01 PM
I never said to be Nasty, cheesy, or mean. Now you're twisting my words. I'm basically saying be more interesting than the previous guy. Its hard to explain to a woman its kinda a guy thing.

ViaMusica Joined Sat 03/09/13 Posts: 3341	Mon 04/22/13 05:03 PM
I never said to be Nasty, cheesy, or mean. Now you're twisting my words. I'm basically saying be more interesting than the previous guy. Its hard to explain to a woman its kinda a guy thing. Weren't you the one talking about "busting her chops"? That's not interesting; it's kind of nasty. Either that or it comes out cheesy. "Interesting" is when a guy just starts a conversation like a normal person talking to another normal person. Women aren't really all that different from guys. We're just shaped differently.

xtreme305 Joined Sun 04/14/13 Posts: 388	Mon 04/22/13 05:07 PM
I never said to be Nasty, cheesy, or mean. Now you're twisting my words. I'm basically saying be more interesting than the previous guy. Its hard to explain to a woman its kinda a guy thing. Weren't you the one talking about "busting her chops"? That's not interesting; it's kind of nasty. Either that or it comes out cheesy. "Interesting" is when a guy just starts a conversation like a normal person talking to another normal person. Women aren't really all that different from guys. We're just shaped differently. O.K. Well now that you've put that out there. I suppose any man wanting to get with you. Now knows to approach you in that fashion.

TawtStrat Joined Fri 11/16/12 Posts: 3581	Mon 04/22/13 05:10 PM
I never said to be Nasty, cheesy, or mean. Now you're twisting my words. I'm basically saying be more interesting than the previous guy. Its hard to explain to a woman its kinda a guy thing. Weren't you the one talking about "busting her chops"? That's not interesting; it's kind of nasty. Either that or it comes out cheesy. "Interesting" is when a guy just starts a conversation like a normal person talking to another normal person. Women aren't really all that different from guys. We're just shaped differently. I think he's busting your chops. Am I right?

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Mon 04/22/13 05:11 PM
we should just be a jerk to all of them, that way we're not discriminating... i had a woman i know tell me i was acting like a jerk the other night... so then i told her that it was payment for her acting like a bytch a couple of nights before that... some people can dish it out, but not take it... needless to say, i wasn't very interested after her bytch night, but she couldn't understand why i was being a jerk... i treat all women the same, if they are nice and respectful to me, i'll do the same... if not, don't cry and whine about it later, it will fall on deaf ears... Are you assuming that the only time men act like jerks is because women were acting like btches first? ok, sure, if that's what you read there... If that's not what you meant, why not explain, rather than roll your eyes? doesn't seem to ever do any good to explain anything to you, your going to believe what you think you read anyway.. i'm almost sure you can understand what the letter "I" means, since it was the main pronoun i used in the post... just so you know, the letter "I" means me, no one else... So, just to be clear, are you* being a jerk because you believe I was being a b*tch first? it really depends on your definition of jerk.. but, anyway, it's more of an irration with you.. i really don't like having to defend or explain myself with every other post.. so i'll be happy with whatever you want to believe, i'm not gunna defend what i believe to be true... even in this post, i say what i feel, and now what am i doing? arguing with you... I asked you a simple question based on what you wrote, just like I'd do with anyone else here I had a question for. I'd rather ask questions than make assumptions. It's not my fault you were annoyed by it.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Mon 04/22/13 05:13 PM
What the...??? Why "bust the chops" of someone you're interested in? Whatever happened to just starting a conversation? You know, not telling a woman she's beautiful (hint: most of us are far less interested in hearing compliments on our appearance than we are in just having an interesting conversation) OR hassling her about something. JUST TALK TO US LIKE WE'RE REAL PEOPLE. How difficult can this be? It's called flirting. You start doing the "just having an interesting conversation" thing with a woman and before you know it she's thinking of you as just a friend. Flirting is fine. I think the guy in question was trying to say teasing is a good thing, which it can be. He just worded it a bit weird. Interesting conversations are not necessarily going to friend zone you, though.

xtreme305 Joined Sun 04/14/13 Posts: 388	Mon 04/22/13 05:13 PM
I never said to be Nasty, cheesy, or mean. Now you're twisting my words. I'm basically saying be more interesting than the previous guy. Its hard to explain to a woman its kinda a guy thing. Weren't you the one talking about "busting her chops"? That's not interesting; it's kind of nasty. Either that or it comes out cheesy. "Interesting" is when a guy just starts a conversation like a normal person talking to another normal person. Women aren't really all that different from guys. We're just shaped differently. I think he's busting your chops. Am I right?

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Mon 04/22/13 05:21 PM
You don't have to be a jerk all the time, just at the right time. Yes definitely!!! You need to have a bit of a "chip", swagger, " backbone" dont be a right fighter, pick the Fights, allways strive for that 60/40 40/60 balance. You will not hold a woman's attention long if you "roll over for them" they will find you unchallenging and will quickly loose respect. After all there's only one thing a woman wants & that what she CAN'T have!! & boys only play with other boys toys...... SAME THING SO RELAX ..LOL... What it sounds like you're trying to say is men should have confidence. This is very true. However, confidence isn't being a jerk. Not caving to her demands having that chip attitude often requires playing the jerk, so with some Ramey,headstrong weman in my past , I've found the best defence in always a good offence ..so the point was also in there ... just got to think like a guy...this is easy stuff... lol.. does anyone no any Ramey headstrong gals, I'm singal by chance & I sure hope it wasn't something I said Now it sounds like you're talking more about being arrogant. I can't speak for others, but an arrogant guy with that "chip attitude" who plays a jerk is definitely a turn off. Now, I'm not into guys who let people walk all over them, either. I'm all for confident men. Arrogance, though? No thanks. I also have no idea what ramey means.

ViaMusica Joined Sat 03/09/13 Posts: 3341	Mon 04/22/13 05:25 PM
Oh good. I was wondering if I was the only one who didn't know what "Ramey" meant.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Mon 04/22/13 05:26 PM
I agree totally, A woman might not want to admit she'd prefer someone funny, charming, and witty. However go out there and try the boring serious guy card. You'll find yourself alone many a night. Simply because of this, Does not make them bimbos or shallow. Why wouldn't a woman want to admit she'd want someone funny, charming and witty? And just because she wants those things, do you think it means she doesn't like to have interesting conversations?

xtreme305 Joined Sun 04/14/13 Posts: 388	Mon 04/22/13 05:31 PM
If you want to ever land in the dreaded friend zone. It's not difficult to do. Just be serious, Don't bust her chops. Tell her your a sincere sensitive guy looking for a second momma. Oh and make sure you change your mind to suit her every chance you get.

xtreme305 Joined Sun 04/14/13 Posts: 388	Mon 04/22/13 05:34 PM
I agree totally, A woman might not want to admit she'd prefer someone funny, charming, and witty. However go out there and try the boring serious guy card. You'll find yourself alone many a night. Simply because of this, Does not make them bimbos or shallow. Why wouldn't a woman want to admit she'd want someone funny, charming and witty? And just because she wants those things, do you think it means she doesn't like to have interesting conversations? Didn't you previously say, You wanted a man to approach you normally and make normal conversation. That's neither Funny, charming, or witty. That sounds more like a sit down with the surgeon general.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Mon 04/22/13 05:38 PM
I think xtreme is using "busting your chops" as in meaning teasing. However, I think the problem is that to most people, "busting your chops" usually means insulting someone or making fun of them.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Mon 04/22/13 05:40 PM
I agree totally, A woman might not want to admit she'd prefer someone funny, charming, and witty. However go out there and try the boring serious guy card. You'll find yourself alone many a night. Simply because of this, Does not make them bimbos or shallow. Why wouldn't a woman want to admit she'd want someone funny, charming and witty? And just because she wants those things, do you think it means she doesn't like to have interesting conversations? Didn't you previously say, You wanted a man to approach you normally and make normal conversation. That's neither Funny, charming, or witty. That sounds more like a sit down with the surgeon general. I don't remember writing anything about "normal conversation." Maybe I did, though. Either way, what's "normal conversation?" Apparently you believe that to be boring. I don't think that a guy who is funny, witty and charming needs to bust a woman's chops to interest her, though. Nor does he need to use pickup lines or anything like that. That's the kind of guy who doesn't need those silly kind of things to grab a woman's attention.

xtreme305 Joined Sun 04/14/13 Posts: 388	Mon 04/22/13 05:45 PM
Yes singmesweet, You grabbed it. Its about teasing and having a good time. Not about cheesy pick up lines or boring people to death.

ViaMusica Joined Sat 03/09/13 Posts: 3341	Mon 04/22/13 05:46 PM
Didn't you previously say, You wanted a man to approach you normally and make normal conversation. That's neither Funny, charming, or witty. That sounds more like a sit down with the surgeon general. Where I come from, normal conversation IS funny, charming and witty. Maybe I just know more interesting people than you do?

xtreme305 Joined Sun 04/14/13 Posts: 388	Mon 04/22/13 05:47 PM
I never said to be Nasty, cheesy, or mean. Now you're twisting my words. I'm basically saying be more interesting than the previous guy. Its hard to explain to a woman its kinda a guy thing. Weren't you the one talking about "busting her chops"? That's not interesting; it's kind of nasty. Either that or it comes out cheesy. "Interesting" is when a guy just starts a conversation like a normal person talking to another normal person. Women aren't really all that different from guys. We're just shaped differently. There's the reference you made right there.

xtreme305 Joined Sun 04/14/13 Posts: 388	Mon 04/22/13 05:50 PM
Maybe you do, Because iv'e had some people bore me to tears. Discussing normal boring conversation. They had no spark, No humor and no wit. Just like that would boreme. It will bore a woman as well.

ViaMusica Joined Sat 03/09/13 Posts: 3341	Mon 04/22/13 05:50 PM
I think xtreme is using "busting your chops" as in meaning teasing. However, I think the problem is that to most people, "busting your chops" usually means insulting someone or making fun of them. Yeah, that's what it generally means where I come from.