He cheated on you yet still wants your baby? Geez. He so confused right? If I was in your shoe's, then yes I'd go ahead with a DNA test, because then he'll have proof. Parenting shouldn't be about fighting over a child. It matters more that you both take great care of that child. This dude wants two women at once or what? How fair he is. lol. Maybe you might need to find yourself a guy who will commit fully. That doesn't mean you should stop him visiting his child. And don't let him control you. Having company whenever he wants to visit may be a wise option. As soon as he gets you on your own, he'll try to control you again. So whenever he is around you, have at least one other person in the same room. I know how sneaky controlling men are.

people can be terrible partners and wonderful parents
just as they can be terrible parents but wonderful partners

I believe every child deserves to go through life with a mother and father whenever it is possible

the responsible thing is to do the dna, beyond that be a good mother and leave the man the option to be good dad,,,

Since you did not conceive this child by immaculate conception and actually chose to have sex with this person, you describe as a looser now, you have to live with that choice and so does your child.

Co-parenting does not mean you have to tell the baby's father any fact that does not directly go to the child's well being. In fact you do not have to have any contact with the father at all if you set up supervised visitation which with his track record is not going to be all that difficult with and infant. He shows up late, under the influence, does anything the social worker doesn't like in regards the infant his visitation will be even more limited.

What you do in your personal life is NOT his business and if he is harassing you then you have recourse in the courts. But what you do will be the courts business if you draw them into it. So you really want to think about how your life is going to measure up under the scrutiny. Keep in mind when you point a finger at a father there are usually four pointing back at you.

Considering your track record you really want to set not only a goal of finding a guy better but far superior to the average guy if you bring anyone into your life right now. Why?; because it is clear this guy is not going to allow you any peace from the sounds of it.

Since most drunks don't have two nickels to rub together that is not going down the bottle you are probably NOT just fighting him but his family. And you have already made this a very public fight by being here so they are not going to walk away quietly and loose face.

If they want to take your baby away from you, which sounds quite possible since you are extreamly vunerable, it would be FOOLISH to make the courts prejudiced against you in any way.

You can keep beating a dead horse or you can face the facts you made a poor choice in this guy and that you and your baby's lot in life is going to be that you have to make the way. What ever public assistance you get will come with strings and won't be enough to support you anyway. My advice would be to get up and as far away from this jerk as possible and leave no trail for him to follow. If you are lucky he will soon fall into the arms of some other foolish girl and loose interest.

I have my family on my side n they will fight him for what hes worth.under our law he cnt take the child away unless the child is 18yrs.am afraid that he will hurt my child emotionally.my child will need stability and that is something he cant give.walking in and out of our lives is not what we need

What you say is good news that he can not take the child under the law. And that your family has not abandoned you.

But I have hardly seen the law have much consequence to a man of poor character.

You are right believing that a father that walks in and out of a child's life is damaging them emotionally but so will your depriving your child of what ever normal contact might be possible as minimal as it might be between a child and his biological father.

Notice I do not call this person a parent because I agree with you that he has not stepped into that role from anything you have said.

But mark these words in your heart; "the greatest love a parent can have for a child is to strengthen the balance that supporting the parent that helped create who they are thrive. Attacking the family of a child is attacking them into their very core." Well intended or not.

It is clear your anger has done every thing it can to poison the relationship and I promise you someday you will pay a terrible price when your child is old enough to resent it and you.

I do not care how wonderful your family is or how much your child loves you sooner or later this child will seek out this person and failed or successful the greater the absence the less likely that the child will be able to have any resolution and peace with the situation.

Ok I'm confused...

Why wouldn't you get the DNA test? It just helps you out in the end. If you don't want him to have anything to do with the child (and it's not his) then he won't.

(I'm not saying it isn't his child but I have no idea who you are, etc).

If it IS his child, then you have that proof. Use the law to your advantage and stay on top of it. That's pretty much all the advice I can give you.

If you don't establish paternity, you will not be entitled to any benefits from the father.

Of course you should..But what you do not want to do is deny the father
his right to raise his child if it is his.I was in the exact situation.
I never cheated, but she thought i did. We planned our child. She took my child away from me, and she paid the price for it. Your child needs
both parents, so you have to put your personal feelings about him to the side. My child's mother apologizes to me everyday about what she did wrong...

Yes you should give him a dna test if its what he wants.
You didnt make that child on your own, and for heaven sakes dont be selfish ,just because your bitter do you need to make an innocent child pay the price.

if you agree to a paternity test, give the dna to a doctor not to the guy...he could give the medical people anything then and say it was yours. if you feel he is not fit to be a parent make him get a court order for the test, then

get a lawyer and go for full custody. tell no one . especailly not the courts , what hospital....