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| Topic: Should I attend the wedding of my ex-girl friend? | |
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My ex-date sent me an invite for her wedding. At first I was very happy for her but as the date is getting closer, I am becomming nervous and so sad. I don't know what to do. Should I attend? If I am attending, what should I buy for her as gift. I just discovered, I care so much about her. I stare at her pictures every now and then. I wish her the best.
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My ex-date sent me an invite for her wedding. At first I was very happy for her but as the date is getting closer, I am becomming nervous and so sad. I don't know what to do. Should I attend? If I am attending, what should I buy for her as gift. I just discovered, I care so much about her. I stare at her pictures every now and then. I wish her the best. |
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If the idea of going makes you sad, don't do it. If you want to be polite, you could send her a card of congratulations, but I don't see the point of doing something that causes you so much grief; you wouldn't enjoy the wedding, and if she knew how you felt, she wouldn't either.
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I'm not trying to be funny, but think about it. Why would she invite a guy who she hasn't had any contact with in years? Why would she want you watching her getting married? Part of me thinks it's to make you want her back, so she is trying to make you jealous. It's up to you, but I'd turn it down if it was me, as I'd think she was trying to hurt you somehow. You've just discovered you care so much about her? That's dangerous. I hope you tell her husband, because he has every right to know. And what will you do once she's married? Care for her some more? She won't give a damn, though, because her husband will be giving her the love she needs.
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I'm not trying to be funny, but think about it. Why would she invite a guy who she hasn't had any contact with in years? Why would she want you watching her getting married? Part of me thinks it's to make you want her back, so she is trying to make you jealous. It's up to you, but I'd turn it down if it was me, as I'd think she was trying to hurt you somehow. You've just discovered you care so much about her? That's dangerous. I hope you tell her husband, because he has every right to know. And what will you do once she's married? Care for her some more? She won't give a damn, though, because her husband will be giving her the love she needs. This. |
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I think that that's a bit cynical. I've got an ex that I'm friends with and she sometimes talks fondly about other ex boyfriends. I know that my ex only wishes me well and yours could be the same. If she doesn't know how you still feel about her, her inviting you to her wedding could be entirely innocent. I've invited my ex to things like that and everyone knows that we are just friends now and there's no problem.
You still having romantic feelings for her isn't necessarily a problem either and I can understand you wanting her to be happy because I'm alright with my ex being with someone else now and that does seem to make her happy. It's up to you. I found that talking things out and becoming friends again with my ex helped me to get over her and move on but on the other hand, if I felt the way that you say that you do I would probably be inclined to tell her and see if she wants to give it another go. I really don't think that her wedding is the place to do that. I would just be honest with her anyway. If you're going to say anything to her, better to say it now before she's a married woman. It may make her feel uncomfortable about remaining friends but she could be alright about it. |
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My ex-date sent me an invite for her wedding. At first I was very happy for her but as the date is getting closer, I am becomming nervous and so sad. I don't know what to do. Should I attend? If I am attending, what should I buy for her as gift. I just discovered, I care so much about her. I stare at her pictures every now and then. I wish her the best. I would RSVP for 2...Take a stunning date and a chitty gift ($10 gift card to Walmart), eat a great meal at the reception, dance the night away with my stunning date, toast the bride and groom, and celebrate CLOSURE !! 
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U can attend to you ex gf,why not.
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Actually communication broke down between us in 2011, ever since we have tried to be friends on phone
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No no, fighting at the venue!!! I haven't given that a thought.
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Actually communication broke down between us in 2011, ever since we have tried to be friends on phone This is really rather strange: why did she send you an invitation to her wedding now. It seems to me that she is either trying to make you jelous, or she is totally over you, and is just showing off, without any consideration to your possible feelings... In either case i wouldn't attend, if i were you (and it is possible that by the invitation card she just wanted you to know about her marriage, nothing more), but it's you who can best judge her true intentions and decide....Good luck! |
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I would RSVP for 2...Take a stunning date and a chitty gift ($10 gift card to Walmart), eat a great meal at the reception, dance the night away with my stunning date, toast the bride and groom, and celebrate CLOSURE !! Yes! |
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I am sorry you are feeling sad about the upcoming wedding of your Ex. It is a natural thing to feel loss when other folks seem to have to make being single awkward.
Sounds like you have had a tough time letting go. Hard when relationships "end" but don't quite end. But if all you have had is phone contact I think she is sending you a very pointed message that it is time for closure. Seems like she is just sticking you with a dun for a gift; especially if she did not issue the invitation as "plus one". It would certainly be incredibly bad manners to take someone if they were not invited. Think unless you were taking a mutual friend or family it would be and incredibly uncomfortable date for whom ever you did have as your social escort for what is usually not that much fun for a stranger. Over all I think it is a rather poor way of handling it when a personal conversation should have been enough or maybe a personal letter but maybe the wedding etiquette books don't handle that. Even if it is not your plan to do anything but attend with your head held high being supportive the perfect gentleman and friend Larrson's advice is very wise. If you care about your to be wed Ex you should not present and opportunity for anyone to humiliate you or the couple by your presence. The groom that needs to look around his wedding touting his victory over prior boyfriend's seems like no prize either. You do owe them a plain card Thank you RSVP saying "Best Wishes in your future I will not attend." Sign your name,mail it promptly, and move on. You are not attending you do not owe them a gift. ZERO future in torturing yourself; file thirteen this backhanded invitation. Out of sight, out of mind, moving forward should be easier. If your moral needs a little boost go out and spend the day doing something that you will actually enjoy. Good luck. |
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If the idea of going makes you sad, don't do it. If you want to be polite, you could send her a card of congratulations, but I don't see the point of doing something that causes you so much grief; you wouldn't enjoy the wedding, and if she knew how you felt, she wouldn't either. I agree with paincards...If i was you i rather don't go. But is your choice after all. |
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If I were you, I wont go. It's obvious that you're still having feelings for her. She's getting married. Just move on and believe that you deserve someone better. Have pity on yourself and love yourself more :)
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Actually communication broke down between us in 2011, ever since we have tried to be friends on phone It's just really hard to tell from the little that you're saying about it here what's really going on. She could simply feel obliged to invite you if you still have some sort of a friendship and there may be nothing more to it than that. I snubbed my ex for five years after I ended it with her and there is no way that I could even have gone to a party that she was throwing with her new guy, let alone a wedding. That's how it ended actually. She threw a party with him with all of their friends and family and that made me realise that she wanted him and not me. We joked about her wanting us to fight over her actually but it wasn't funny really. Personally, I wouldn't go to that wedding unless you are doing like Leigh said and taking a new girlfriend of your own along. You obviously still care about her and maybe you should have a proper chat with her but that really depends on how you feel because if it's making you feel sad now, talking to her again or being around her could be quite upsetting. On the other hand, if you really do want her to be happy you might want to find out if she really loves this other guy. It's a hard thing to go through but sometimes you just can't accept that it's over until you see for yourself that somebody doesn't really want you and has moved on. |
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If I were you, I wont go. It's obvious that you're still having feelings for her. She's getting married. Just move on and believe that you deserve someone better. Have pity on yourself and love yourself more :) This. |
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I am sorry you are feeling sad about the upcoming wedding of your Ex. It is a natural thing to feel loss when other folks seem to have to make being single awkward. Sounds like you have had a tough time letting go. Hard when relationships "end" but don't quite end. But if all you have had is phone contact I think she is sending you a very pointed message that it is time for closure. Seems like she is just sticking you with a dun for a gift; especially if she did not issue the invitation as "plus one". It would certainly be incredibly bad manners to take someone if they were not invited. Think unless you were taking a mutual friend or family it would be and incredibly uncomfortable date for whom ever you did have as your social escort for what is usually not that much fun for a stranger. Over all I think it is a rather poor way of handling it when a personal conversation should have been enough or maybe a personal letter but maybe the wedding etiquette books don't handle that. Even if it is not your plan to do anything but attend with your head held high being supportive the perfect gentleman and friend Larrson's advice is very wise. If you care about your to be wed Ex you should not present and opportunity for anyone to humiliate you or the couple by your presence. The groom that needs to look around his wedding touting his victory over prior boyfriend's seems like no prize either. You do owe them a plain card Thank you RSVP saying "Best Wishes in your future I will not attend." Sign your name,mail it promptly, and move on. You are not attending you do not owe them a gift. ZERO future in torturing yourself; file thirteen this backhanded invitation. Out of sight, out of mind, moving forward should be easier. If your moral needs a little boost go out and spend the day doing something that you will actually enjoy. Good luck. Well said. 
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I wonder if she even means for him to attend? Like maybe it was sent out as a wedding announcement to everyone she knows, with no expectation of him actually showing up? I admit there's no way I would send something like that to an ex of mine, but you never know what's going on in people's heads...
But yeah, there's no way I would go. I would do as Pacific said and return the RSVP card declining and try to get on with life. Life is too short for bs. |
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My ex-date sent me an invite for her wedding. At first I was very happy for her but as the date is getting closer, I am becomming nervous and so sad. I don't know what to do. Should I attend? If I am attending, what should I buy for her as gift. I just discovered, I care so much about her. I stare at her pictures every now and then. I wish her the best. My gut reaction to your question is this: Do not go, and get rid of those photos of her that you still have. You don't owe your ex-girlfriend your presence at her wedding. You do owe yourself a clean break from the past. |
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