Hi everyone :) Many of you know I have 3 kids. They are all now adults. My 2 younger ones my son 21 and My daughter 22 ( who is 9 months pregnant) and her boyfriend who's 25 live with me. None of them have regular jobs, They do help some by doing odd jobs and donating plasma. But I pay all the bills. I have the opportunity to move to a much nicer place but its in another state. Which means leaving them to fend for themselves. I'm struggling with what to do especially since their is a baby on the way. Advice anyone?

Your daughter is about to have a little family of her own so it's probably time for the 3 of them (including the baby) to have their own place. Maybe you could help them find a place that isn't too expensive where they could move into very soon. The 21 year old should also find his own place to live and they all need to get real jobs (except your daughter, she needs to take care of her baby right now). Tell them that's how it's gonna be and if they argue just say that they better find some way to live on their own because you're moving. Tell them you would be happy to help them get started in any way you can.

the son only has himself to care for, he can manage without you

the daughter is having a child and if she and the father want to do whats best for her, I would believe the daughter and grandchild should come with you while the father is on his own to get stable and take care of them himself.

I don't think you should leave mother and child, but I think the boys should be expected to figure out how to build some stability.

Well, when I was their age I was in the Army serving our country. It's time they all get out and started their adult lives and make their own way. Perhaps they could all get a place together, your son and the BF getting jobs, and that would allow your daughter to be at home to care for the baby. At this point you're the excuse they haven't taken on responsibilities that are a natural part of progressing to adulthood. You have raised them, time for them to carry on.

in the end, our own brain tell us EACH how to best take accountability for what we our self have created.

but many don't like what their own brain tells them to do taking into account all the self accountability for it's own part in the creation of what exists...

and so on earth, many as these do seek other voices to tell one self what it self but first wished to hear...

but only one self will have to live with ALL one self created with it's own actions and words unto others.

and no one else who give advice for specific actions of what another human body should do, does not show them self totally blind to all the individual unique circumstances and creations of all others involved in the matter...

and but live to "feel" and prove them self smart by telling others what to do...

only one self shall have to live in one's own brain and body, and many a fools have felt the sting of listening to and accepting what one wished to hear as wise insight.

peace

I'm kinda in that boat myself...only it's not just my adult children...it's also my sisters who depend on me...I basically told my kids they better learn how to fly or die...the nest is gone....they are flapping their wings,...bumbling all over themselves and struggling a bit but I believe they will make it...now if I could just be that strong with my sisters...they make me think they will lose everything without me..it's funny cause I told my kids I am leaving ASAP and they are fine with it...if you have a place to go..you should go for it...the kids may struggle a bit but will probably be ok...and you deserve to be happy...I also have a granddaughter and a grandson on the way..makes the thought of leaving harder...but then I remember how I looked forward to my grandma coming to visit once a year...Hmmmm...good luck with what ever path you choose...just hope it's the one with the least regret...

there is always one way to always tell a manipulator...

that anyone can validate so create more of by not recognizing it...

they will always deem what all your actions SHOULD BE, based upon what would make THEM SELF HAPPY...

and will seldom, most not EVER speak, that YOU should do what makes YOU HAPPY...

why...

because caring about the happiness of ANOTHER, is not in their brain, so not in their speech about what other humans should do.

Funny how the real Walton's became the richest family in real life to become the richest of all families that exist on planet earth do date.

If all else...think back to pioneer days...no cell phones...hard way of life...constant struggle...but family members left eachother pursuing their dreams..,not even having a place to go and must have did all right....well at least till the Walton's came to be...don't think any of them left...at least for a very long time....lol

it's too bad that families that stayed together like the Walton's don't progress as they did...but to the op.... As hard as it may be,sometimes you have to leave the kids...they can be so co-dependent and it's not helping them....and not to sound crude...what if you acidentally died..?.. What would the kids do..?..moving to another state you can still be there for them..but I hope the choice you make brings you much happiness..