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| Topic: Qualities of People You Know | |
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Edited by
needsum12luv
on
Thu 04/16/15 04:39 PM
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The other day I created a topic about what qualities that people in your life have that cause you to hold them in high esteem. The answers just as I expected. Everyone that responded said it had to do with things like, integrity, trustworthy, honesty, loving, etc.etc. No one said it was their eyes, hair, body or body parts, face, smile. Cosmetics were just not the issue. How is that different when looking for qualities in a partner, unless of course you're just looking for something sexy for a sexual encounter (where a blonde big breasted bimbo would do)
 When looking for a lifelong partner however, I think the qualities that you look for come from the persons persona and not their cosmetic appearance. I will admit that I like my partner to be pleasant to look at, and when you can find one that is and has good moral qualities, you've hit the Jackpot. So what do you look at first when exploring profiles or do you use another source for exploring. like seeing what they post in the forums?
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Like most people, I prefer someone that's physically attractive to me.
As far as qualities, I haven't seen any profile where someone mentions that they have a great sense of humour. Above all else, that quality scores high on my list of what I look for in a partner If you can't laugh at all the crazy s**t that happens in life... |
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Most people go for looks first, which is probably why the divorce is so high in this. Although we like to pretend that it's not true which is most likely the reason there are so many movies were the Quasimodo character ends up with the total hoty. Or maybe I'm just too jaded for my own good but I have yet to see this happen in real life.
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well, apparently having virtue isn't what people are really looking for when their looking for a partner. It's all about looks and sexual stamina. When your 62 that pretty much puts you out of the game. All that good moral stuff only counts when your a father or brother or someone who helps others get through life. Doesn't count for squat on the dating circuit
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I think everybody hopes someone too pretty/handsome for them, too young for them, and too well built for them sweeps them off their feet. But it is this same unreasonable list of "qualifications" people hope get met that keep them loitering around on websites for years. You have a shelf life. You got to offer more to a relationship than high expectations of another. There is no such thing as the perfect catch. A fish tastes like fish until you add your own special flavor to it.
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So what do you look at first when exploring profiles The pictures. They are worth a thousand words which is about 100 times more words than a lot of people put in their profile. do you use another source for exploring. like seeing what they post in the forums? No. Reading forums would be a bad means of trying to determine who someone might be in reality, or in person. Too much nuance in conversation is lost in online typing. No body language, inflection, tone, or plain and simple communication or cognitive ability. I mean for all you know I took 4 hours to write this response. Are you willing to put up with that on a date? To ask a question, then wait 4 hours for them to come up with the response you are used to reading from them? Or maybe I found what I post on another website and just copy and pasted. Or I took your question to 30 people at work and came up with a consensus answer that in no way represents me as an individual. Or I am playing a character, or drunk, or attempting to come off a certain way for someone else entirely. The only means of "exploring" that is worth anything is meeting in person and directly interacting. Online dating should not be that hard. The only question anyone "should" (IMO) ask on here is "do I have any interest in meeting this person for an hour?" The whole "partner" or "lifelong partner" search should be done directly, face to face, with each other, not separated by impersonal means of communication and interaction. |
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I look for men who like women.
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well the people I hold in high esteem are understanding and supportive, good listeners and they try to see other people's viewpoint...they are very talented in their own way whatever that talent happens to be.
The people who I hold in high esteem have a sound sense of fairness and justice, objectivity in judging wrong from right, are not afraid to apologize, usually exhibit patience with the less fortunate and are not stuck on themselves. The people I hold in high esteem are my sons, my sis, and daughter in law and daughter in law to be, my aunts and uncles and my one cousin from MO. and a several of my teachers thru the years, and Jack Kennedy |
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well, apparently having virtue isn't what people are really looking for when their looking for a partner. It's all about looks and sexual stamina. When your 62 that pretty much puts you out of the game. All that good moral stuff only counts when your a father or brother or someone who helps others get through life. Doesn't count for squat on the dating circuit OH I have to respectively disagree with you .. IN the real world, it is a look or something said. Out here for me, it is the written word of that person. The best dates I have ever had has been from someone I met in forums. I do look for morals, character, compatibility, the same goals in life. Sure if I get lucky and they are drop dead gorgeous in my eyes then a win win situation... I don't look at finances or any of the other things since I can take care of myself in those areas there are many other things I look for... |
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OH I have to respectively disagree with you .. IN the real world, it is a look or something said. Out here for me, it is the written word of that person. The best dates I have ever had has been from someone I met in forums. I do look for morals, character, compatibility, the same goals in life. Sure if I get lucky and they are drop dead gorgeous in my eyes then a win win situation... I don't look at finances or any of the other things since I can take care of myself in those areas there are many other things I look for... And I could anticipate that about you from my knowledge of your posting. He (and we both know who that is) is a very lucky man cause he got the best of all worlds in Miss Rains. I guess I just get mixed up in the wrong ones that can't look past my age and difficulties I have at my age, even though I am healthier than a whole lot of men my age. I'm walking on egg shells anymore just to try to get close to anyone. but thank you Miss Rains, you are always a ray of sunshine |
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I guess we all hope to find someone who is beautiful both inside and outside... And though beauty is a bonus, and everyone would love to wake up next to a gorgeous person every morning, It goes without saying that external beauty fades with age, but a beautiful inside gets becomes more cherishing. With this in mind.... I aim to try to find someone who's personality fits in nicely with the kind of person I envisage spending the rest of my life with, living together in 'Sunshine Happiness' and then if this person with awesome personality is also beautiful then its a win win situation. Ideal qualities would naturally be, honesty, loyalty, integrity, beauty, positivity.... In that order. After all we ARE talking about WIFE material right? Not just one night stand business!  Yes sir that is the point of the post and to take that just a notch farther, you can be the most beautiful woman/man and open your mouth and become the ugliest thing on earth. |
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OH I have to respectively disagree with you .. IN the real world, it is a look or something said. Out here for me, it is the written word of that person. The best dates I have ever had has been from someone I met in forums. I do look for morals, character, compatibility, the same goals in life. Sure if I get lucky and they are drop dead gorgeous in my eyes then a win win situation... I don't look at finances or any of the other things since I can take care of myself in those areas there are many other things I look for... And I could anticipate that about you from my knowledge of your posting. He (and we both know who that is) is a very lucky man cause he got the best of all worlds in Miss Rains. I guess I just get mixed up in the wrong ones that can't look past my age and difficulties I have at my age, even though I am healthier than a whole lot of men my age. I'm walking on egg shells anymore just to try to get close to anyone. but thank you Miss Rains, you are always a ray of sunshine Maybe the walking on eggshells could a bit of the issue. Be who you are, I honestly believe that so much that a person has to be true to who and what they are IMO if we begin as someone else then we have lost before the first step... I have read what you write out here I have seen your anguish, your laughter, all of the other range of emotions we have. You have a lot to offer someone.. It will come |
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The other day I created a topic about what qualities that people in your life have that cause you to hold them in high esteem. The answers just as I expected. Everyone that responded said it had to do with things like, integrity, trustworthy, honesty, loving, etc.etc. No one said it was their eyes, hair, body or body parts, face, smile. Cosmetics were just not the issue. How is that different when looking for qualities in a partner, unless of course you're just looking for something sexy for a sexual encounter (where a blonde big breasted bimbo would do) When looking for a lifelong partner however, I think the qualities that you look for come from the persons persona and not their cosmetic appearance. I will admit that I like my partner to be pleasant to look at, and when you can find one that is and has good moral qualities, you've hit the Jackpot. So what do you look at first when exploring profiles or do you use another source for exploring. like seeing what they post in the forums? funny I just noticed this topic today. I had a similar conversation yesterday with my friend and coworker. she's seen pics and said she was surprised I didn't notice one of our clients smiling at me. I said why would I and didn't get the opportunity to add we're all professionals here. she said she knows my type. and proceeded to describe what she thought catches my attention. I told her wrong. I don't look for anything in particular, physically speaking. she said aww come on ana. everyone notices the physical. I told her what catches my attention is a compassionate heart and intriguing mind. I believe in being friends before becoming anything more. someone who can care for you as a friend will treasure you in a relationship. as for how do we know or what profiles do we look at. I have learned a lot about mingle people by the content of what they post on the forums. I don't mean isolated posts here and there. but rather reading across a variety of topics over an extended period of time. seeing how their ideas mesh with my ideals |
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Wait!
Profiles have words in them? 
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Mmm.. based on another thread about qualities...
big boobs, nice ***, wide shoulders, six pack etc aren't qualities ... so quite logical no one mentioned that. As for the question, there's a difference between RL and online. Online you got nothing but a picture to go on and a little bit of text. In RL you can see how they carry themselves, how they treat others etc etc. You cannot tell on a dating site. So logically you plug in another part of the brain that focuses on the outside, as you don't feel/see/hear/sense the inside. I think the 'dating & searching out of your league' is in that sense more applicable online as well. Someone raised that issue a while ago, and if memory serves well, most rushed to say there is no such thing as potentially dating out of your league. But get real and be honest. I think most if not all of us have been there that we got messaged by ... well ... let's be nice and use understatement: someone who doesn't particularly look the part .. and then think "Find someone who doesn't look the part either! Don't bother me!" A friend of mine once said "when you go through pictures online, just think of how you'd feel waking up next to that face each morning for the rest of your life." And I know it sounds awfully judgmental and shallow, but still... Try it and think about why you reject most ppl. *and of course there's 'dating out of your league' based on intelligence etc.* In RL it's different, cos apart from great looks or not, you still got your charm, the way you carry yourself etc. so a lot easier to make things work, and you could simply "outshine" someone who does look like Adonis or Aphrodite ... cos yes, looks aren't everything. |
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Edited by
TMommy
on
Sat 04/18/15 07:52 AM
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Mmm.. based on another thread about qualities... big boobs, nice ***, wide shoulders, six pack etc aren't qualities ... so quite logical no one mentioned that. As for the question, there's a difference between RL and online. Online you got nothing but a picture to go on and a little bit of text. In RL you can see how they carry themselves, how they treat others etc etc. You cannot tell on a dating site. So logically you plug in another part of the brain that focuses on the outside, as you don't feel/see/hear/sense the inside. I think the 'dating & searching out of your league' is in that sense more applicable online as well. Someone raised that issue a while ago, and if memory serves well, most rushed to say there is no such thing as potentially dating out of your league. But get real and be honest. I think most if not all of us have been there that we got messaged by ... well ... let's be nice and use understatement: someone who doesn't particularly look the part .. and then think "Find someone who doesn't look the part either! Don't bother me!" A friend of mine once said "when you go through pictures online, just think of how you'd feel waking up next to that face each morning for the rest of your life." And I know it sounds awfully judgmental and shallow, but still... Try it and think about why you reject most ppl. *and of course there's 'dating out of your league' based on intelligence etc.* In RL it's different, cos apart from great looks or not, you still got your charm, the way you carry yourself etc. so a lot easier to make things work, and you could simply "outshine" someone who does look like Adonis or Aphrodite ... cos yes, looks aren't everything. ummmm no 
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Mmm.. based on another thread about qualities... big boobs, nice ***, wide shoulders, six pack etc aren't qualities ... so quite logical no one mentioned that. As for the question, there's a difference between RL and online. Online you got nothing but a picture to go on and a little bit of text. In RL you can see how they carry themselves, how they treat others etc etc. You cannot tell on a dating site. So logically you plug in another part of the brain that focuses on the outside, as you don't feel/see/hear/sense the inside. I think the 'dating & searching out of your league' is in that sense more applicable online as well. Someone raised that issue a while ago, and if memory serves well, most rushed to say there is no such thing as potentially dating out of your league. But get real and be honest. I think most if not all of us have been there that we got messaged by ... well ... let's be nice and use understatement: someone who doesn't particularly look the part .. and then think "Find someone who doesn't look the part either! Don't bother me!" A friend of mine once said "when you go through pictures online, just think of how you'd feel waking up next to that face each morning for the rest of your life." And I know it sounds awfully judgmental and shallow, but still... Try it and think about why you reject most ppl. *and of course there's 'dating out of your league' based on intelligence etc.* In RL it's different, cos apart from great looks or not, you still got your charm, the way you carry yourself etc. so a lot easier to make things work, and you could simply "outshine" someone who does look like Adonis or Aphrodite ... cos yes, looks aren't everything. Very well said. The point about looking at pictures and imagining waking to those looks every day is a first reaction. I am experiencing now a woman who is very plain, but has illustrated a wonderful persona within herself. Each day she is more beautiful as I learn truths about her spirituality, personality and sensitivity. We will never meet most likely as she is far away, but talking with her really gives me a lift and we have become good friends and support for each other (she has been more support for me as I have been the one who needs it, but I look forward to when I can return the favor). Anyway you look at it you are only seeing people on the surface with pictures and even text in a profile, but I believe after texting on a private level, discussing your most personal feelings and beliefs, you truly can know a person IF they are being honest. That too can be a disappointment when the occasion arises that truly puts what they say to the test. I totally agree however by seeing a person, and how they carry themselves it the only real way to know who they are |
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He is caring, but not when his Schizophrenia kicks in.
He always hugs me, when he see's me. Why does he kiss my hand? I'm not the queen.  He asks me how my family are. He sometimes puts effort into spending time with me. Unfortunately, yet again, that will depend on whether his Schizophrenia is making his mood low, at that given time. I think he will make a nice boyfriend for whoever he ends up attracted to. |
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I seek out people friends..
... who treat me the same way I treat them..... ok probably not the best analogy for me.... at least not my online me...  ..... because I can be a real s.o.b online...
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The other day I created a topic about what qualities that people in your life have that cause you to hold them in high esteem. The answers just as I expected. Everyone that responded said it had to do with things like, integrity, trustworthy, honesty, loving, etc.etc. No one said it was their eyes, hair, body or body parts, face, smile. Cosmetics were just not the issue. How is that different when looking for qualities in a partner, unless of course you're just looking for something sexy for a sexual encounter (where a blonde big breasted bimbo would do) When looking for a lifelong partner however, I think the qualities that you look for come from the persons persona and not their cosmetic appearance. I will admit that I like my partner to be pleasant to look at, and when you can find one that is and has good moral qualities, you've hit the Jackpot. So what do you look at first when exploring profiles or do you use another source for exploring. like seeing what they post in the forums? Well, now that you have worked out that "big breasted blondes" are "bimbos" and only good for sex, I would have to say that someone who does not negatively label others would be a boon. You can tell SO much from forum posts. |
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