Topic: Honest opinion and advice
AlphaB2Eros88's photo
Wed 04/20/16 05:25 PM
You know I'm trying to get the hang of online dating. And so far I've had to trim a lot of fat. But I still would like to keep the questions at the end. Does anyone see a problem with them? Or maybe have a way to ask any of the questions better? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

V/r
Tresa

PacificStar48's photo
Wed 04/20/16 05:54 PM
As another from the Sunflower state and other things you might be surprised we have in common; just seriously different decades I noticed you come in and find you very interesting in the best connotation. I get all "you go girl" and don't want to try to tone down your thundering personality.

I think there is a lot behind all that sass and vinegar. Probably the most loyal friend a person could ever want and the gal you would want besides you if you were going to take on a serious challenge like a real life relationship. And my guess is a truly rocking woman for the right guy.

I do think you are just a wee bit more, sorry baby girl, about a C-1-30, more than most civilians are going to be able to take. But that is not a bad thing if you learn a little ballet and how to finesse it. Give yourself some time back in the world. And you know you can't give people orders no matter how good your reasons.

What worries me is sadly there will be too many who will just see you as a challenge to break down. Probably not what you want to here but if you put it out there that is what you are going to attract.

I think there is a lot about your profile you can keep but you can ask many of the questions much more subtly with out strangling the feathers off the eagle. Do you really want to throw lighting bolts back and forth between the person who matters to you or make the world your beach ball to enjoy together?

Men can like a powerful woman but they will not tolerate being conquered by one. I guarantee you if they do you really don't want them.

AlphaB2Eros88's photo
Wed 04/20/16 10:22 PM

As another from the Sunflower state and other things you might be surprised we have in common; just seriously different decades I noticed you come in and find you very interesting in the best connotation. I get all "you go girl" and don't want to try to tone down your thundering personality.

I think there is a lot behind all that sass and vinegar. Probably the most loyal friend a person could ever want and the gal you would want besides you if you were going to take on a serious challenge like a real life relationship. And my guess is a truly rocking woman for the right guy.

I do think you are just a wee bit more, sorry baby girl, about a C-1-30, more than most civilians are going to be able to take. But that is not a bad thing if you learn a little ballet and how to finesse it. Give yourself some time back in the world. And you know you can't give people orders no matter how good your reasons.

What worries me is sadly there will be too many who will just see you as a challenge to break down. Probably not what you want to here but if you put it out there that is what you are going to attract.

I think there is a lot about your profile you can keep but you can ask many of the questions much more subtly with out strangling the feathers off the eagle. Do you really want to throw lighting bolts back and forth between the person who matters to you or make the world your beach ball to enjoy together?

Men can like a powerful woman but they will not tolerate being conquered by one. I guarantee you if they do you really don't want them.


Oh, I like you Pacific Star48 I hope you don't mind but I would love to put someone like you as a friend and add to my corner. I will try and figure out how to soften the questions only. *shrugs* I was always taught to simply state what you want upfront. Because if I spend time beating around the bush well you get brambles. Honestly, How do you drive off the dirtbags? While attracting a quality male... Who would love a loyal friend that has their back and loyal friend I think I will think of it while I hit the weights. I mean I want my player one for laser tag... Have a movie night... heck pick out a puppy. Go hunting or camping or try this thing called larp :) Heck not every man likes to jump out of a plain but I like that you seem to get me. I would like to send you a friend request for later.

Thank you again for your input.
V/r

Tresa

no photo
Sat 04/23/16 07:48 AM
Ooops, it looks like "user manual", or a "package leaflet". The list of do's and the don'ts is too long, I think. I got tired to read all. If I am a man I wouldn't like to fit in that program. It is boring to know everything before even talking. And when relationship grows and problems "challenges" come? Will you then remember him about his agreement to the "user manuel"?
Honestly speaking, it is more interesting to talking to a person who just says "Hi".
When I was praying with an Archbishop from London, she said to me, God says, I should forget about all I have in mind. God did a miracle and two years ago I went to Pakistan, got married to best husband. God really knows what I needed and whom I needed. There was no need for a long list of questions. The only questions were if he loves God and if he really loves me. I thank God for giving me much more than I was asking for.
Be blessed dear! Rev. Vera

no photo
Sat 04/23/16 08:04 AM
With respect I think your profile is way OTT.

I'm only talking about me personally but I would click 'next' and skip your profile after a line or two.

PacificStar48's photo
Sat 04/23/16 10:42 AM


As another from the Sunflower state and other things you might be surprised we have in common; just seriously different decades I noticed you come in and find you very interesting in the best connotation. I get all "you go girl" and don't want to try to tone down your thundering personality.

I think there is a lot behind all that sass and vinegar. Probably the most loyal friend a person could ever want and the gal you would want besides you if you were going to take on a serious challenge like a real life relationship. And my guess is a truly rocking woman for the right guy.

I do think you are just a wee bit more, sorry baby girl, about a C-1-30, more than most civilians are going to be able to take. But that is not a bad thing if you learn a little ballet and how to finesse it. Give yourself some time back in the world. And you know you can't give people orders no matter how good your reasons.

What worries me is sadly there will be too many who will just see you as a challenge to break down. Probably not what you want to here but if you put it out there that is what you are going to attract.

I think there is a lot about your profile you can keep but you can ask many of the questions much more subtly with out strangling the feathers off the eagle. Do you really want to throw lighting bolts back and forth between the person who matters to you or make the world your beach ball to enjoy together?

Men can like a powerful woman but they will not tolerate being conquered by one. I guarantee you if they do you really don't want them.


Oh, I like you Pacific Star48 I hope you don't mind but I would love to put someone like you as a friend and add to my corner. I will try and figure out how to soften the questions only. *shrugs* I was always taught to simply state what you want upfront. Because if I spend time beating around the bush well you get brambles. Honestly, How do you drive off the dirtbags? While attracting a quality male... Who would love a loyal friend that has their back and loyal friend I think I will think of it while I hit the weights. I mean I want my player one for laser tag... Have a movie night... heck pick out a puppy. Go hunting or camping or try this thing called larp :) Heck not every man likes to jump out of a plain but I like that you seem to get me. I would like to send you a friend request for later.

Thank you again for your input.
V/r

Tresa


LOL I am flattered by your desire for friendship. Email me at will. I am not sure always my endorsement would help you. When I say things the way I see it sometimes the response is to take it as it is intended and other times to get all cry baby and feel attacked because a lot of people in the world have never had a true friend/loved one that told them the truth. And the truth is not always pretty.

I tend to agree with you about getting the thorns when you beat around the bush but sometimes a strategic parlay, like in fencing, will tweak someones attention with out conquering them. You want a strong man and you will more than likely get his attention with out even trying but you might so you don't want to make him think he will risk getting squired.

I agree with Rev's point that you get so caught up in a list that you might ignore the true mate that God or whatever you think is the higher power wants. I personally think God helps those who help themselves and I think looking is good but part of jumping out of airplanes in dating is to get in and past the enemy and help the right one escape the land of "Singledome" with you not wonder if you are the enemy that is trying to eat him alive. .

If you would have told me what, so far, has been the love of my life would have been the one when I saw him across the room I would have probably told you no way. Several ways he did not make what I thought was my list. But deep down he was a "giant slayer' with the greatest courage yet tenderness that I thought was pretty much mythical.

It is fine to thy own self be true and tell people in the dating process the things you think will give them a better chance. Leave a few tidbits to make the process of discover fun.

But I really think there is little or no way for you to sort all the chaff from the wheat and some people just have to be ignored since there are guys who will shoot at any deer in the field just to see if they get lucky.

I know military life, especially today, tends to use testing to select but I am sure you have seen some guys who maxed fit to fight and were the weakest link in the unit. You would not want a man just because he survived standing on the auction block. That sure is not what you describe in your response to me. Which by the way a great way to describe what you want and even find it. Maybe that feels more vulnerable than comfortable but it is what works. Finding real love takes risk. Good Luck. Keep me posted.

AlphaB2Eros88's photo
Sat 04/23/16 11:01 AM
Edited by AlphaB2Eros88 on Sat 04/23/16 11:18 AM

With respect, I think your profile is way OTT.

I'm only talking about me personally but I would click 'next' and skip your profile after a line or two.


Well, thanks for you opinion but seeing as you offer no critique on how to soften it then *shrugs* Why are you here? As a male, you had a prime opportunity to follow that if something's broke... And I've been asked to fix it.
But seeing as what I asked was how to fix it...Just State how it s broken and what you would do to fix it. But *shrugs* That's fine. I've got the data I needed.

AlphaB2Eros88's photo
Sat 04/23/16 11:08 AM
Edited by AlphaB2Eros88 on Sat 04/23/16 11:20 AM

Ooops, it looks like "user manual", or a "package leaflet". The list of do's and the don'ts is too long, I think. I got tired to read all. If I am a man I wouldn't like to fit in that program. It is boring to know everything before even talking. And when relationship grows and problems "challenges" come? Will you then remember him about his agreement to the "user manuel"?
Honestly speaking, it is more interesting to talking to a person who just says "Hi".
When I was praying with an Archbishop from London, she said to me, God says, I should forget about all I have in mind. God did a miracle and two years ago I went to Pakistan, got married to best husband. God really knows what I needed and whom I needed. There was no need for a long list of questions. The only questions were if he loves God and if he really loves me. I thank God for giving me much more than I was asking for.
Be blessed dear! Rev. Vera


Dear lord...
I would hope you could give a more detailed list. Instead of commenting on something you couldn't finish. I would maybe ask that you help me by pointing out Where you got tired? Or what was a pro and what was a con. Maybe you all are not getting what I'm asking... Because what I feel I'm getting is hey God will send you the one you need... Do not play that age old game of 20 questions.

Cut in half... And by the way, if you have never played 20 questions then you probably haven't stayed up all hours of the night in love just asking questions. Until the other couldn't breathe. *shrugs* I digress What I'm looking for is one a way to remove the unwanted scammer or cybersex bunnies. Find a companion who possess the ability to articulate.

Now asking will I ask a mate during a hard time to remember his promises. Is a bit of a cheap shot. I won't lie I've been taught relationships won't be 50/50 all the time... And sometimes the enemy will attack your partner and you have to be strong enough to help carry them whether it's now 70/30 or even 90/10. Doesn't matter help your partner. Now what an archbishop tells you. Is not Gods message for everyone. But I appreciate and respect your faith viewpoint.

Thank you for your I would ask that you maybe look into the fact that I'm not catholic to better relate. But again thank you for your effort.

V/r
Tresa

AlphaB2Eros88's photo
Sat 04/23/16 11:16 AM

If you would have told me what, so far, has been the love of my life would have been the one when I saw him across the room I would have probably told you no way. Several ways he did not make what I thought was my list. But deep down he was a "giant slayer' with the greatest courage yet tenderness that I thought was pretty much mythical.

It is fine to thy own self be true and tell people in the dating process the things you think will give them a better chance. Leave a few tidbits to make the process of discover fun.

But I really think there is little or no way for you to sort all the chaff from the wheat and some people just have to be ignored since there are guys who will shoot at any deer in the field just to see if they get lucky.

I know military life, especially today, tends to use testing to select but I am sure you have seen some guys who maxed fit to fight and were the weakest link in the unit. You would not want a man just because he survived standing on the auction block. That sure is not what you describe in your response to me. Which by the way a great way to describe what you want and even find it. Maybe that feels more vulnerable than comfortable but it is what works. Finding real love takes risk. Good Luck. Keep me posted.


You know I have to say it does get tire some having to pan through all the cheap Hi's and Cybersex bunnies. God lord you have no idea how much that mess was cut in half after there were 10 questions thrown up. It was very refreshing honestly figuring out how to play coy and hint at my things. I feel leaving enough about my interest. Flaws and or desires. Was a nice thing but if the target audience actually takes the time to get to know me.

They will find I'm much more just like you found out about the hidden depth of my prospective lover. While I look into this fencing motions. You mention eairlyer I may have to spend time. I mean will I only be attractive to people who like MMA and a certain lifestyle. Because so far the people with the same interest tell me the profile is great. So I will take peoples advice under consideration. But my goal is not to get someone who is my polar opposite.

Thank you all for your help it's outstanding really some of it now as helpful as I would have liked. But I take into the factors: Age,Intrest,Faith & General overall goals.

V/r
Tresa

JaiGi's photo
Sat 04/23/16 03:18 PM


With respect, I think your profile is way OTT.

I'm only talking about me personally but I would click 'next' and skip your profile after a line or two.


Well, thanks for you opinion but seeing as you offer no critique on how to soften it then *shrugs* Why are you here? As a male, you had a prime opportunity to follow that if something's broke... And I've been asked to fix it.
But seeing as what I asked was how to fix it...Just State how it s broken and what you would do to fix it. But *shrugs* That's fine. I've got the data I needed.


Hi Alpha,
now that the party is over and if you still care for an outside opinion; very outside, like from East Indian, haha; but also honest then here it is; brutally honest - can you take it?

1. Your main picture is enigmatic and so are a few others
but there's one hot potato -- could attract the very type you want to avoid. May be it could go in your reserve list.

2. I suggest you reserve your questionnaire for later.
I mean why should i describe myself in 5 words? right at the handshaking stages unless you are HR and i'm a job applicant

what hobbies, why & will you share
obviously, i will share my toys if you will play with me; i mean what
the heck?

when you get angry how do you respond
aha; gives it all away.
now the target reader is expecting: "you moron, i'm giving you a ticket"
come on, you can't expect a person to respond unless
'he wants to impress you'. that's the type you may like to avoid

in other words, the questionnaire seems to be for a certain make and model of a car rather than a search for a soul mate; haha.

On the other hand..

3. The positives are your responses in this thread; great read and some nice leads there. In fact why not replace many of your profile lines with those in this thread? For instance..

a) "While attracting a quality male..." yep -
frankly i am looking for a guy with the temperament of say Sean Connery or a Daniel Craig and no; i love Fluffy but not as my date

b) "..if the target audience actually takes the time to get to know me.." has a nice ring to it - re-saying in your very words like
i know how tiresome it is to pan through profiles but you will find me refreshingly honest and if i like you i may have a few questions for you

4. challenging
okay but some areas its needless; like loving your good cooking versus his love for his grandma's. i mean why are you highlighting a talent to a point he has to choose between his G.ma and you ..aaargh.
--xx--

as seems to be the general attitude here; don't look for perfection; just a good match; somebody who can make you laugh; and things get perfected over the years.

best wishes.:smile:

mightymoe's photo
Sat 04/23/16 03:21 PM
way to much on your profile... you wanna know everything about someone else, but you say very little about you... i stopped reading it pretty quickly...


remember, profiles are about you, not a demand for others to be what you want...

good luck

Jaan Doh 's photo
Sat 04/23/16 05:01 PM
Hiya Alpha,

I think your questions are good,
Though not everyone may choose to answer them?

Still its a very nice way to break the ice in a first email
I would have thought that even if a few of your questions were answered honestly, it could give you a slight insight into the personality of the other person.

good luck with your online dating.

smile2 waving

ErotiDoug's photo
Sat 04/23/16 06:52 PM

* Hello AlphaB2Eros88 waving

* I read all of your Profile and found it 10/10. I guess you have written a profile in the past, the results show.
* To me your questions are a nice guide line to help break the ice today or in the follow-up notes.
** Photo's always leave me with mixed feeling. With your photo's I see four different people. Maybe it is the hair, angle, lighting or just me. I would think the main photo is your closest "today" look.
** On my forth look I noted your city, but have now forgotten it, oh! and your age is also gone. But 10 years as an M.P. stuck clearly and the reflection of a nice person.

P.s. For interest you may want to change "country" and see what the world offers.

AlphaB2Eros88's photo
Sat 04/23/16 08:49 PM
Edited by AlphaB2Eros88 on Sat 04/23/16 09:25 PM


Hi Alpha,


1. Your main picture is enigmatic and so are a few others
but there's one hot potato -- could attract the very type you want to avoid. May be it could go on your reserve list.

2. I suggest you reserve your questionnaire for later.
I mean why should i describe myself in 5 words? right at the handshaking stages unless you are HR and i'm a job applicant

what hobbies, why & will you share
obviously, i will share my toys if you will play with me; i mean what
the heck?

when you get angry how do you respond
aha; gives it all away.
now the target reader is expecting: "you moron, i'm giving you a ticket"
come on, you can't expect a person to respond unless
'he wants to impress you'. that's the type you may like to avoid

in other words, the questionnaire seems to be for a certain make and model of a car rather than a search for a soul mate; haha.

On the other hand..

3. The positives are your responses in this thread; great read and some nice leads there. In fact why not replace many of your profile lines with those in this thread? For instance..

a) "While attracting a quality male..." yep -
frankly i am looking for a guy with the temperament of say Sean Connery or a Daniel Craig and no; i love Fluffy but not as my date

b) "..if the target audience actually takes the time to get to know me.." has a nice ring to it - re-saying in your very words like
i know how tiresome it is to pan through profiles but you will find me refreshingly honest and if i like you i may have a few questions for you

4. challenging
okay but some areas its needless; like loving your good cooking versus his love for his grandma's. i mean why are you highlighting a talent to a point he has to choose between his G.ma and you ..aaargh.
--xx--

as seems to be the general attitude here; don't look for perfection; just a good match; somebody who can make you laugh; and things get perfected over the years.

best wishes.:smile:


Well, fun times *Cracks knuckles* well where to start... I guess I will take the head and then work my way down.

Alright for

Pt. Interesting take however even if you were dressed in a turtleneck covered from head to toe you will find that you can still get the types to want to do odd things. Then again I go to nude spa's so yes while I'm of the viewpoint that nudity does not equal sex. *wink* It's important that the person messaging me also have a healthy S-Drive. Kind of a major factor. So if I get that diamond in the rough that likes my mind and the way I look Bonus round. Besides, who wants to go to a movie when I can go to a nude beach or go to a cage match. Or better yet mudding and do the whole bonfire bit. With skinny dip on a dare.

pt2: The questionnaire stays if someone is really interested we can make a game of it. And seeing as they are options to add to a
"Hi my name is John Well yeah john... Why are you different than the other 5 johns who just sent me a hi?"

How about you answer some questions. *shrugs* I will be honest you are online auditioning or peacocking yourself not only for fellowship but a potential mate. If you want to simplify it yes do you want a new model to drive in or something with some durability. *shrugs*

Pt3: One can only be one's self... You say you like how I answer other people's questions and that it shows what a tender side. Well, then congrats you fallowing my post has allowed you to see another side to me. There are many sides of me if you feel I should only show one side then you were not fallowing me for that long, my friend. If You can't grasp that but thank you for the compliment/general observation.

Pt4: You know I would have to say maybe it's a cultural thing but where I come from. You always want to marry someone that can cook better than your mom. I always think granma's cook better than anyone. So yes seeing as she may or may in the picture for very long. Actually mastering her dishes and cooking better then her would be a huge step. If you haven't guessed from my interest section I am competitive. And seeing to it that a potential mate gets the very best is a thing. If you are unconformable with anyone calling your granny in the kitchen let me put your mind at ease first its an expression. But then again I didn't challenge the competitive person to see if she could handle it. If you don't want someone who can throw down with grandma. Then don't worry most about my age range are into the microwave sect now but not all.

Pt5: Never said I was looking for perfection just what is a right match for me. Laughter means nothing if you know the person has an anger problem but won't tell you what they need to get on through it or over it. When I ask a question its just that. Don't worry what society thinks on if you are dating me. I accept that you are human. But I expect honesty and communication. But hey *wink* I'm not for everyone I will ask you about these things because they are important and it shows my level of commitment and care that I ask these things... It also acts as a lovely deterrent for those that just like a hot patato photo. But lack effort...thanks for your time.

Respectfully
-Tresa

AlphaB2Eros88's photo
Sat 04/23/16 08:51 PM

way to much on your profile... you wanna know everything about someone else, but you say very little about you... i stopped reading it pretty quickly...


remember, profiles are about you, not a demand for others to be what you want...

good luck


Well seeing as you didn't read it I don't really think I will take your statment. Thank you but I find its good to know what you want and say it.

-Tresa

AlphaB2Eros88's photo
Sat 04/23/16 08:53 PM
Edited by AlphaB2Eros88 on Sat 04/23/16 09:09 PM

Hiya Alpha,

I think your questions are good,
Though not everyone may choose to answer them?

Still its a very nice way to break the ice in a first email
I would have thought that even if a few of your questions were answered honestly, it could give you a slight insight into the personality of the other person.

good luck with your online dating.

smile2 waving

Well Jaan_Doh,
Thank you very much and I do like you mention that not everyone will. And that you at least grasp the peek I'm trying to glean. After all, I'm finding a way to many profiles on here with no bio plenty of pictures. But I do my best not to project on to anyone. So I ask questions Thank you for your time and effort. It actually means a lot and has given me a new perspective. It is because of these reasons that I took my religious books off my interest list. Yet kept my top interest available.

V/r
Tresa

AlphaB2Eros88's photo
Sat 04/23/16 09:04 PM


* Hello AlphaB2Eros88 waving

* I read all of your Profile and found it 10/10. I guess you have written a profile in the past, the results show.
* To me your questions are a nice guide line to help break the ice today or in the follow-up notes.
** Photo's always leave me with mixed feeling. With your photo's I see four different people. Maybe it is the hair, angle, lighting or just me. I would think the main photo is your closest "today" look.
** On my forth look I noted your city, but have now forgotten it, oh! and your age is also gone. But 10 years as an M.P. stuck clearly and the reflection of a nice person.

P.s. For interest, you may want to change "country" and see what the world offers.



Greetings ErotiDoug,
Thank you for the 10/10 Normally I include links and other coding but this site does not support that function. And I did find it a little bothersome. Because coding is a hobby. I like that you understand that Its an Icebreaker. That is refreshing but I understand not everyone will grasp some concepts. After all, If I asked half the group what a D20, D100, or an M856 is they would not be able to tell me that two are dice and one is a bullet. *shrugs* But hey I have my interest And let's see one picture could be me in Germany. The other me in Italy... And I do feel there is one of me in Korea. And yes the one with me in the blue top was taken for tax season 2016 honestly I would love it if you could put names or a small caption. But then again the problem is solved if anyone is interested they just have to ask. My age is 27 currently and it was 8 years on the force as SF.

And you know I've seen a lot of the world and while I have my favorite cultures. I'm always willing to expand for the right one. Thanks again for the input and time

V/r
Tresa

Alex_Smithe's photo
Sun 04/24/16 03:26 AM
I don't see any problem with that, and besides you look perfect to me

AlphaB2Eros88's photo
Sun 04/24/16 10:11 AM

I don't see any problem with that, and besides you look perfect to me


Thank you very much, Mr. Alex Smithe. I appreciate the compliment. Although I won't Like kind of on that self-transformation kick. What with my interest being physical fitness. But your compliments are noted. I like your picture choice also because the Hawaiian shirts are now making an epic comeback thanks to FireFly. *Wink* Or rather they just never went away. Thanks for the evaluation.


V/r
Tresa


AlphaB2Eros88's photo
Fri 04/29/16 08:17 AM
Thank you all for your thoughts and PM's They have helped a lot. I'm trying to make this work because I don't know about you but you meet a lot of ghost on this site. Who are only looking at pictures? Not even your info section on wanting kids or not smoking or anything. But hey such is life on dating sites. If anyone would like to help me figure out how to attract the male I desire. Yet ward off the trolls let me know. Or perhaps that's just something we all endure.