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Topic: How important is your best friends approval?
msmyka's photo
Mon 06/20/16 01:57 PM
I have a feeling a lot of people are going to be able to relate to this so here goes...

I have a best friend, who has been my friend and even more like a sister since we were in elementary school. She knows me better than anyone and her opinion means the world to me.

I, admittedly, am not the best at selecting men for myself. Any guy who was worthy, I scared away somehow and any guy who wasn't got to stick around way longer than I should have let him. My best friend (who I also call my wifey, and no not in a sexual way) likes to tell me after the fact that she never liked the guy or that I'm dumb for letting a good guy get away.

I've decided that since I SUCK at choosing men for myself, I should obtain her approval before getting serious with anyone.

Sounds like a pretty good plan eh?

soufiehere's photo
Mon 06/20/16 02:17 PM
Well at your divorce hearing you can tell the judge
it is your friends fault for picking this one out.

I would give no credence to anyone else's opinion
unless they had facts I did not have and I would
listen to their opinion for merit.

NO one knows what is best for you but you.
YOU take all the blame but you also get all the glory :-)

no photo
Mon 06/20/16 02:18 PM

Well at your divorce hearing you can tell the judge
it is your friends fault for picking this one out.

I would give no credence to anyone else's opinion
unless they had facts I did not have and I would
listen to their opinion for merit.

NO one knows what is best for you but you.
YOU take all the blame but you also get all the glory :-)


Right on point. I like bigsmile

msmyka's photo
Mon 06/20/16 02:24 PM
LOL I'm not saying she should be the sole deciding factor, just that she should meet them early on and let me know if she picks up on something I don't.

adivorcedone's photo
Mon 06/20/16 02:28 PM
My BFF( best female friend)hangs out with me...where ever and when ever...but no matter which female I bring over, and if my BFF is around, she will make sure to voice her disapproval (after the friend leaves). I gotta say she has been spot on a couple of times..But now I get the weird idea, that maybe, just maybe...she wants me for herself...And my point is....bottom line, only you can make a selection.....which way the relationship goes, is solely dependent on the two stars of the show....just saying....

no photo
Mon 06/20/16 02:31 PM

LOL I'm not saying she should be the sole deciding factor, just that she should meet them early on and let me know if she picks up on something I don't.


Sometimes your best friend may not approve even if you & the person u seeing are good for each other

no photo
Mon 06/20/16 02:35 PM

I have a feeling a lot of people are going to be able to relate to this so here goes...

I have a best friend, who has been my friend and even more like a sister since we were in elementary school. She knows me better than anyone and her opinion means the world to me.

I, admittedly, am not the best at selecting men for myself. Any guy who was worthy, I scared away somehow and any guy who wasn't got to stick around way longer than I should have let him. My best friend (who I also call my wifey, and no not in a sexual way) likes to tell me after the fact that she never liked the guy or that I'm dumb for letting a good guy get away.

I've decided that since I SUCK at choosing men for myself, I should obtain her approval before getting serious with anyone.

Sounds like a pretty good plan eh?


Ultimately it's your life but I would think this is not too bad of a plan. Getting an outside opinion on a new interest can be a good thing from someone close to you. Sometimes you go blind in a new friendship/relationship and red flags can be missed. So if you find someone you are interested in, get your best friends opinion early on. You don't have to obey her opinion but it can be a good guide for you.


Annagram's photo
Mon 06/20/16 02:38 PM

I've decided that since I SUCK at choosing men for myself, I should obtain her approval before getting serious with anyone.

Sounds like a pretty good plan eh?


I totally relate. I definitely think it's a good idea to check in with your best friend and tell her you want her honest opinion at the beginning stages of seeing someone new. You may not be willing/able to write off the ones that aren't worthy of your time right off the bat, but you can at least keep her assessment in the back of your mind. Maybe it's like strike one and two? And you can decide when strike three comes and move on.

msmyka's photo
Mon 06/20/16 02:39 PM
So basically you guys are all saying who cares what your friends think and do whatever you want regardless?

I do care though, she's more important to me than any guy ever has been. Seems like best friend to some people means "least objectionable person in your life" lol

soufiehere's photo
Mon 06/20/16 02:40 PM
Only problem with that is, she will be looking..
for something wrong.

There is always going to be something..somewhere
if y'all look hard and long enough.

Then, does he need to please her too?
Or will you be displeased if he does not try?
I am exhausted already thinking of the ramifications.

Just run him through a TSA screening at the airport.
Their findings are usually concrete.


no photo
Mon 06/20/16 02:40 PM
when it comes to affairs of the heart.. NO ones opinion matters other than mine.. if I make a mistake? ma bad! if I find a winner? kudo's to me.. a romantic relationship is based on personal choices, perceptions and emotions... it can't, nor shouldn't, be judged by others!



no photo
Mon 06/20/16 02:46 PM

Only problem with that is, she will be looking..
for something wrong.

There is always going to be something..somewhere
if y'all look hard and long enough.

Then, does he need to please her too?
Or will you be displeased if he does not try?
I am exhausted already thinking of the ramifications.

Just run him through a TSA screening at the airport.
Their findings are usually concrete.




TSA let's me through every time... scared

I wouldn't trust them to properly screen anyone!

Candiapples's photo
Mon 06/20/16 02:49 PM

I have a feeling a lot of people are going to be able to relate to this so here goes...

I have a best friend, who has been my friend and even more like a sister since we were in elementary school. She knows me better than anyone and her opinion means the world to me.

I, admittedly, am not the best at selecting men for myself. Any guy who was worthy, I scared away somehow and any guy who wasn't got to stick around way longer than I should have let him. My best friend (who I also call my wifey, and no not in a sexual way) likes to tell me after the fact that she never liked the guy or that I'm dumb for letting a good guy get away.

I've decided that since I SUCK at choosing men for myself, I should obtain her approval before getting serious with anyone.

Sounds like a pretty good plan eh?
Uhhhh...NO

msmyka's photo
Mon 06/20/16 02:49 PM

Only problem with that is, she will be looking..
for something wrong.

There is always going to be something..somewhere
if y'all look hard and long enough.

Then, does he need to please her too?
Or will you be displeased if he does not try?
I am exhausted already thinking of the ramifications.

Just run him through a TSA screening at the airport.
Their findings are usually concrete.




Ah well it's not all that serious. I guess approval was the wrong word as it suggests he gets one chance to prove himself or be damned?

I don't mean it that way, only that her opinion is important to me.

Candiapples's photo
Mon 06/20/16 03:05 PM
Opinions should be welcomed from those you love but ultimately only you can change running from good men.
No matter how many people tell you how great he is...only you can make that decision .

msmyka's photo
Mon 06/20/16 03:08 PM


I've decided that since I SUCK at choosing men for myself, I should obtain her approval before getting serious with anyone.

Sounds like a pretty good plan eh?


I totally relate. I definitely think it's a good idea to check in with your best friend and tell her you want her honest opinion at the beginning stages of seeing someone new. You may not be willing/able to write off the ones that aren't worthy of your time right off the bat, but you can at least keep her assessment in the back of your mind. Maybe it's like strike one and two? And you can decide when strike three comes and move on.


Yeah this is where my line of thinking is at. I honestly thought more people would be able to relate. I can't get behind the line of thinking that mine is the only relevant opinion. I prefer my life to be harmonious and it wouldn't be if the people in my life didn't at least accept the guy I'm with.

no photo
Mon 06/20/16 03:10 PM

I have a feeling a lot of people are going to be able to relate to this so here goes...I have a best friend, who has been my friend and even more like a sister since we were in elementary school. She knows me better than anyone and her opinion means the world to me.I, admittedly, am not the best at selecting men for myself. Any guy who was worthy, I scared away somehow and any guy who wasn't got to stick around way longer than I should have let him. My best friend (who I also call my wifey, and no not in a sexual way) likes to tell me after the fact that she never liked the guy or that I'm dumb for letting a good guy get away.I've decided that since I SUCK at choosing men for myself, I should obtain her approval before getting serious with anyone.
Sounds like a pretty good plan eh?

nope. figure out what youre doing wrong and change what you need to change to attract the man you weant

msmyka's photo
Mon 06/20/16 03:11 PM

Opinions should be welcomed from those you love but ultimately only you can change running from good men.
No matter how many people tell you how great he is...only you can make that decision .


Completely agree, I'm too headstrong to let anyone make my decisions for me. That's not what I meant to imply at all.

I'm perfectly capable of deciding what's best for me but as you know, love can make you blind to the red flags.

msmyka's photo
Mon 06/20/16 03:12 PM


I have a feeling a lot of people are going to be able to relate to this so here goes...I have a best friend, who has been my friend and even more like a sister since we were in elementary school. She knows me better than anyone and her opinion means the world to me.I, admittedly, am not the best at selecting men for myself. Any guy who was worthy, I scared away somehow and any guy who wasn't got to stick around way longer than I should have let him. My best friend (who I also call my wifey, and no not in a sexual way) likes to tell me after the fact that she never liked the guy or that I'm dumb for letting a good guy get away.I've decided that since I SUCK at choosing men for myself, I should obtain her approval before getting serious with anyone.
Sounds like a pretty good plan eh?

nope. figure out what youre doing wrong and change what you need to change to attract the man you weant


Oh I know what's wrong and that's why I'm suggesting I need help. I'm like emotionally retarded or something (not making fun of the word retard, I mean it in the literal sense)

RustyKitty's photo
Mon 06/20/16 03:14 PM
A second opinion, after the friend has spent some quality together time with you both...would not be a bad idea to get a different perspective..
But in the end, it's your choice alone

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