so, me and my old boyfriend (from 45 years ago) have been hitting it off pretty darn good.. our last get together was for 7 days, 5 days of which we camped.. this just started a couple weeks ago..and we live in different provinces (7 hour drive)..
It seems his ex-girlfriend (they broke up back in February, 6 months ago) found out about our get together(s) and has been texting him to meet up and 'talk'..He says they had an ugly breakup and hurt each other and he doesn't want to meet up with her..
They dated for about 8 months..
Old boyfriend is having angst, as he at one time had feelings for her.. I don't know what she is saying to him now..but I know he is developing feelings for me..
I am glad for his honesty in telling me about her texting him.
I'm telling him that he is my friend first and if he wants her, then go..I'll set you free...and how awful that one needs to 'choose'...
We will see what he does.. he is supposed to be driving here for the long weekend,, arriving Friday. stay tuned, lol

I don't know how long ago, they broke up... but, he should just block her.

So many games. It's hard to tell. Dating. Blaaaaa. Women want what other women have.

Maybe he just wanted to get some strange.

Like, Sassy said, if he was really done with her, she wouldn't matter.

And, if you cut him off, he may go back with her because she's available.

So basically you gave him a preemptive "Ultimately, you're disposable. I can lose you. You really don't matter that much. Let's just be friends, or at least you're pretty much always in the friend zone and I give you special passes out of it," speech?

Good luck with that.

He WAS holding all the cards & had all the choices... with the, " Oh, BTW, my Ex texts me b*llsh*t !! And it is b*llsh*t!

What was she supposed to do?

Cry & say Oh please choose me ? Or keep us both?

more like, if you love someone, set them free... if they love you, they will come back, scenario.
He knows he's not disposable - I've told him that I really, really like him..
(I'm a new widow, with new feelings... and I just can't say Love at this time, but I do got a strong case of like, for sure)..

Honestly...This is really simple to equate..

He is a big boy if he doesn't want to meet up.. Then don't..
Him," I wish you well I really do I have moved on I suggest you do the same." Block


I guess for me this would be so simple and easy..
I know what I would tell Pancho...
Dude love ya and I think you need time to figure this out.
I don't share nor am I jealous..
Figure it out and let me know.
If you don't take too long I will be here if not then thank you for the great times. Life is too short.



Yes I know you are a new widow and yet I seem to remember several of your previous threads talking about other men. So maybe because you like him more than you are saying is where this is getting cloudy.

Best wishes in this sticky situation

Setting him free doesn't mean you don't like him or you don't have a chance for the love between you to flourish. With the presence of her ex gf now, giving him time to think and realize his feelings would be a better thing to do. Let him find his way back to you. If he loves you he will choose you , if he doesn't it's simple he doesn't love you enough to stay with you or he still have hang ups with his previous relationship and only him could realize that. Letting go may not be easy, and waiting is a painful thought not knowing if he will choose to go back to his ex or he will continue to pursue you. Time will tell and only when he comes back to you , I believe it is something to look forward to hang on there Kitty whatever his decision will be, the earlier you know about his feelings for you the better. Appreciate his honesty for telling you about his ex gf, it's one way of letting you know that you have to trust him ....I believe he is a gentleman and the kind of man who doesn't want to hurt anybody. Planning to meet up and talk with her ex gf may just be an act of politeness and decency for remembering the times they had together... who knows this could be a time for him to let go of his past and say goodbye to it for the last time stay hopeful with an open heart and open mind think of the infinite possibilities, staying positive in life is the best way to live a happy life with a happy and contented heart goodluck on Friday

I wonder if you are mixing me up with someone else? I haven't dated any other men .. well, pre-marriage yea, 35 years ago... I will have to search my comments..
I appreciate your other comments and I feel pretty much the same.
TY

Don't be so black and white. Love has MANY levels. You can love someone a little bit or with everything you've got. You already basically said you love him a little to all of us. So, don't be afraid to tell him you love him. If he wants clarification on how much then you can be nervous.

I love you. See that wasn't so hard.

It is sounding like a troublesome plot...just be wise and careful dear

I would do the same thing you did kitty.

Give him the freedom to leave and see if he comes back to me or not. I hope he chooses you

If he takes too long to decide , I would walk away though.

i agree with that. If it's over the nothing to be said. Why rake over old coal?

I commend your communications with him at this juncture. You're not applying pressure to an already uncomfortable situation. He knows he's still his own man but you'd like him to be yours. You've open a door but the choice is his to use it. It shows mental maturity on your part. Affairs of the heart can often take a rocky path. Fundamentally remember to maintain your self respect but don't let that become messed up by ego. I hope it all works out well for you.

Wanted to PM you, but I'm too young, hahaha. I'm not 53 yet, I'll have to wait another 3 years ....

...all..I.. want to know is...
Do you help him pitch up the tent...
Wink.lol..

Both relationships ended in a split at one stage.
It will depend on the growth of each individual since that will influence the out come now. Sometimes it is a good time to step back and see what is growing. Other times are good to nurture growth. Goodluck with the cultivation Kitty

the tent seems self-erecting... poof, there its up! I am more helpful in taking the tent down

She only wants him back because he is with you, plus you spent a that many days in a row with him. She is only wanting this for the thrill of the hunt.

I agree with Goof, she wants him back because he is happy with you and she is envious. Maybe he was never that happy with her and that's what vexes her. She needs to move on though. They broke up for a reason and she needs to accept that. The best way he can help her to do that may be to ignore her completely which will force her to move on.