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| Topic: Need: another commonly misused word. | |
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People misusing words to get their way is an every day thing. What interests me about this one, NEED, is that there seem to be lots of people who know perfectly well, that most so-called "needs" in relationships really aren't needs at all, but they join a sort of conspiracy of silence, and pretend those "needs" are real, perhaps in hopes of getting their OWN fake "needs" approved. I think your assumption that most people know the difference between need, want and desire is wrong. I don't think the average person distinguishes well the difference between their thoughts and feelings. Their experience being of the complete package rather than separately Need is a logical progression of a logical thought Want and desire is the emotional wrapping around a thought that drives us to action to achieve our thought goal. Instinctual needs for survival and procreation are also something that is thrown into the mix to make the task of distinguishing what is driving us all the more difficult Is it that the fake needs you are talking about are needs that have not been matched with the correct thought or desire? Au contraire, mon ami. The entire reason to post a thread such as this, is to alert people to ponder, because it is clearly NOT true that even most people make the needed distinction. It is one of many examples, of how we have to actually WORK to think clearly. In the case of NEED, what I am most referring to, is that there is almost a mechanical result involved with the use of a label. Take the inspiration for this thread, msharmony's post about labeling someone a LIAR. Once you choose LIAR as the label, in a case where MISTAKEN would have been more accurate, you add an accusation of negative intent to the person you are labeling. In the same way, if you mislabel a DESIRE in your thinking, as being a NEED, the actions that you take or allow for it change accordingly. Well isnt this interesting our words seem to have caused a misunderstanding between us. In your original post you said “People misusing words to get their way is an every day thing. What interests me about this one, NEED, is that there seem to be lots of people who know perfectly well, that most so-called "needs" in relationships really aren't needs at all, but they join a sort of conspiracy of silence, and pretend those "needs" are real, perhaps in hopes of getting their OWN fake "needs" approved. “ While in your reply to me you said “ Au contraire, mon ami. The entire reason to post a thread such as this, is to alert people to ponder, because it is clearly NOT true that even most people make the needed distinction” Clearly those two statements are contradictory. I suspect this is an indication of the limitations of language being able to convey our thoughts and emotions. I believe the line that contains “ but they join a sort of conspiracy of silence” obscures your intention to say what you expressed in your reply to me. Words are just labels for thoughts and emotions and we usually assume every one else has the same meaning for those labels. Unfortunately that is not often the case even if our meanings are close. In fact we don't always have the same meaning in mind for the same word we use ourself at different times. For example we can use the word need as something that is vital for survival. While at other times we can use the word need as something that is vital to meet a desired goal. At other time we may say we don't need something that is required to reach a goal when if fact it is the goal we don't need. I agree with most every thing else you have said especially that as soon as we put a label/word on something there is an almost mechanical reaction to it. Even though our meaning and intent can vary considerably for the same word at different times thus causing different reactions to them. With words not being a precise a tool as we would like them to be it makes it all the more important to remain alert to the labelling and meanings we ascribe our words but not surprising get it wrong from time to time. |
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Many people can't use to or too in a sentence.
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i am afraid to want to need someone again in my life...
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Not all men are ********, but you probably think we are..........your loss!!
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Many people can't use to or too in a sentence. I believe since spellcheck and advanced calculators,, spelling and math have stopped being given much priority,, a shame really,,, 
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Please let me know if I do anything else wrong. Thank you.
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Please let me know if I do anything else wrong. Thank you. If you want to hire a personal guidance counselor, you will have to draw up a formal contract, and arrange payment schedule. However, a number of people from every point of view you can think of, would, I am sure, be willing to take you on as a client. |
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Inspired by msharmony's post about LIAR. Here in Datingworld, one of the most often misused, simple words, is NEED. We see it on dating sites a LOT. People trying to excuse everything from dumping a perfectly nice potential mate, to cheating on their official main squeeze, to stealing, and on and on. People misusing words to get their way is an every day thing. What interests me about this one, NEED, is that there seem to be lots of people who know perfectly well, that most so-called "needs" in relationships really aren't needs at all, but they join a sort of conspiracy of silence, and pretend those "needs" are real, perhaps in hopes of getting their OWN fake "needs" approved. I understand the need to make this right ... but I may need you in my life ... now what was that you needed me to pick up  wow you sure can use that word need a lot ... |
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Not all men are ********, but you probably think we are..........your loss!! Is there any way I can see what he really typed? lol Do I have some kind of filter on? - or is that just site policy? Just curious ***
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Edited by
Cheeriosoo
on
Thu 11/10/16 02:50 PM
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Interesting topic, IgorFrankensteen. I agree people can rationalize their behavior, or lack of ethics, by thinking in terms of their own needs. Makes me think of Maslow's theory of the "hierarchy of needs." "Maslow stated that people are motivated to achieve certain needs, and that some needs take precedence over others. Our most basic need is for physical survival, and this will be the first thing that motivates our behaviour. Once that level is fulfilled the next level up is what motivates us, and so on."  Interestingly, most versions of that pyramid include sex as a basic physiological need, yet relationships and emotional intimacy are higher up the pyramid. So with regard to dating... I guess that explains why many will take shortcuts to fulfill that need. Is missing sleep. |
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Please let me know if I do anything else wrong. Thank you. Brother, move to Seattle and start wearing Seahawks gear with the number 88 on it (Jimmy Graham's jersey number, whom you bear a passing physical and facial resemblance to) and I gar-un-tee you that if you hang out in the SoDo neighborhood (the stadium district) on game days you will receive as much female attention as you can handle and then some. |
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