Topic: How Do You Handle People Who Can't Take A Hint?
peggy122's photo
Wed 03/15/17 10:27 AM
Edited by peggy122 on Wed 03/15/17 10:33 AM


It could be that the person has overstayed their welcome at your house or you dont want to be their friend for whatever reason or maybe they are messing up a task that was assigned to them.... but no matter how you try to tell them in a nice way, they dont seem to get it.

How do you cope with people who cant take a hint? Or are you brutally honest and therefore cant relate to the challenge stated here?

Tom4Uhere's photo
Wed 03/15/17 10:41 AM
If I feel they are too sensitive to accept the truth I start making them experience themselves by duplicating what I want them to see that I don't like.

In the case of over-staying a welcome. I won't allow that to happen because I tell them up front when they will be leaving. If they don't leave, I remove them. Sometimes with help.

I met a woman that was not for me. I told her so. She kept calling and knocking on my door. I completely ignored her, deleted her texts without reading them and never answered the door or the phone. She gave up eventually. It took 3 days.

Some people not only can't take a hint, they can't understand direct reasoning either.

krissy55101's photo
Wed 03/15/17 10:45 AM
What you need to do is at a time when they are not there, put all their stuff out on the curb and change the locks if necessary.

There, problem solved. Good luck waving

Beachfarmer's photo
Wed 03/15/17 10:54 AM
With a pitchfork.

soufiehere's photo
Wed 03/15/17 10:58 AM

I used to have a sign in my guest unit something along the
lines of 'Fish and guests begin to stink after 3 days..'
Countless people remarked on it..well after the 3rd day.

no photo
Wed 03/15/17 11:00 AM
I don't believe hinting solves anything, except making everyone uncomfortable. The person doing the hinting is frustrated because the person just isn't getting it...And the person you are giving the hints to has no clue why you are upset or what they are doing wrong.

Honesty, without being brutal is best. It may hurt for a bit, but they get over it and hopefully learn from it. I like to think about how I would want someone to tell me something, and do it that way. If that doesn't work, then sometimes you may have to say it in a not so nice way.

barbadogirl's photo
Wed 03/15/17 11:02 AM
I have the same problem!!

I don't want to hurt peoples feelings.I try be too nice.

But I always cave, how is the best way to reject someone
without hurting their feelings or being derogatory.

As for house guests they are like fish they gotta go after three days.
Offer to help carry their bags to car and make a reservation at local
Holiday Inn or Best Western lol.
(Don't laugh had to do that once)

I try to let someone down easy and say we have not much in common
even if they are good looking. I have to feel that connection.
A great conversation. Most guys I have met are looking to hook up
or be FWB which tells me they didn't read that profile. I'm old
fashioned. Maybe I need to change it to OLD SCHOOL LOL

TxsGal3333's photo
Wed 03/15/17 11:29 AM
Edited by TxsGal3333 on Wed 03/15/17 11:30 AM
Humm.... if I have tried to tell them in a nice way and it does not seem to get through....

Then I tell them in the way they will understand..

I'm one that does not have a problem voicing my opinion or telling one what I think...

Some tend to take advantage of the situation and the only way to get it through to them is to be blunt..

So I try the nice version first if that don't cut it, then I'll put it where their is no misunderstanding where I'm coming from..whoa

yellowrose10's photo
Wed 03/15/17 11:31 AM

Humm.... if I have tried to tell them in a nice way and it does not seem to get through....

Then I tell them in the way they will understand..

I'm one that does not have a problem voicing my opinion or telling one what I think...

Some tend to take advantage of the situation and the only way to get it through to them is to be blunt..

So I try the nice version first if that don't cut it, then I'll put it where their is no misunderstanding where I'm coming from..whoa


You aren't nice. You just spray perfume on themlaugh

no photo
Wed 03/15/17 11:47 AM
I don't give hints, I talk straight. It is their problem if they can't handle. I don't think that keeping myself down would solve anything. In time, sooner or later I should be straight anyway. So, why torture myself? Like anyone appreciates this...

TxsGal3333's photo
Wed 03/15/17 11:48 AM
Hey at least I do it with a bigsmile rofl rofl rofl rofl

no1phD's photo
Wed 03/15/17 12:05 PM
Hmm.... I sometimes struggle with this one... you don't want to come right out and say what the issue is....
You don't want to hurt their feelings...

But sometimes it's good to deliver a spoonful of vinegar with just a little sugar in it... when possible..

no photo
Wed 03/15/17 12:06 PM
I don't suggest putting Thier stuff to the curb
That will only get you in big trouble here.
Put your foot down!

no photo
Wed 03/15/17 12:19 PM
Just politely mention ,that as Friday is approaching, you normally work out what the cost of running the house is likely to be,and what every one has to pay, as you are sitting there throwing out numbers,you will suddenly see a shifting of the Feet-as it slowly dawns on them that you will soon be asking for their share,they won't hang around much longer.
If this doesn't work, then just tell them to F*** off.

krissy55101's photo
Wed 03/15/17 01:02 PM
Oh, just thought of another idea: Tell them a fumigation team is coming tomorrow to take care of the room they have been staying in. Probably won't even have to fib about the bed bugs you noticed in there lately smile2

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Wed 03/15/17 01:03 PM

With a pitchfork.

I like that approach. Very much so! Haha

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Wed 03/15/17 01:10 PM



It could be that the person has overstayed their welcome at your house or you dont want to be their friend for whatever reason or maybe they are messing up a task that was assigned to them.... but no matter how you try to tell them in a nice way, they dont seem to get it.

How do you cope with people who cant take a hint? Or are you brutally honest and therefore cant relate to the challenge stated here?

If people don't get hints, I can get pretty straightforward. Some would call it blunt or brutal maybe. But hey, I'm a Taurus! PO! LOL
I don't like it when someone messes with my privacy, my domain, my sense of personal freedom.

But... I don't have roommates or kids at home anymore, so the task things is not applicable.
If it's my partner, different story. I do assume we'd have good communication, otherwise we wouldn't be in a relationship together.

Also, if it concerns a man, you have to be direct, not give hints. Women get hints, read between lines, men don't. It just confuses them and causes the woman to get frustrated because she feels he doesn't get her messages.
Direct does NOT however equal brutal.

TMommy's photo
Wed 03/15/17 01:20 PM
ya I don't really have an issue with this one bigsmile

no photo
Wed 03/15/17 01:23 PM
I can't participate in the challenge at hand.

I tend to be too direct. I don't go brutally honest, unless they still were not getting the point.

Houseguest's...I haven't had any overnight houseguests. They leave when I run out of booze...drinks :cry: