It has been said that the road to love is paved with smiles and laughter. Well if it hasn't been said it has now.:)
I think it is a mistake to expect someone else to make us feel better. we all have to deal with our own outlook on life.
no one else is going to wave a magic wand and do it for us, or if they do, they will get tired of waving it in time.
I had a bit of a rotten year in 2018. ended up a bit depressed for a few months. No use at all for dating, and I knew it.
took me a couple of months on my own to find myself again.
happy as larry again now, after 4 months.

when 2 happy people come together and the smiles and laughter start, then the kisses and nibbles :) it can be so wonderful.

I personally wont settle for any needy relationship, and unless i miss my guess most women of my age wont either.

In short, loose the baggage, be fun to be with,
and enjoy the incredibly unlikely opportunity life with all its trials has given us.


be happy, smile, it's the most attractive thing

Nice post Steve, I agree searching for happiness through another isn't the way to happiness... that comes from within.

Crystal touched on a lot of this as far as being fit to date in a thread about 10 months ago... https://mingle2.com/topic/555085?page=4

I believe knowing yourself is really important. Last year you knew that you weren't in a good place to begin dating, that in itself shows emotional maturity.

As far as baggage, I believe if we're growing and working through baggage from the past we can come to a place where we believe we are fit for dating. However, the real test is when we begin dating. Dating is a tool that helps us become ready for that ultimate partner in life. It teaches us what we may still need to work on in order to thrive in a healthy relationship.

Being happy within is a start, being able to laugh and smile does have a way of making us more attractive... though I feel being who you are is even more attractive, and that includes sometimes crying and feeling blue. It's how we handle those not so pleasant moments that really matters.

When we can look back and say Life is good, perhaps that's an indication that we are fit enough to let someone else share this incredible journey with us. :)

It's a long way to find happiness, and I don't think, there is complete happiness. There is always ups and downs in life. Just being realistic. But it is important to identify those, who are in our way of achieving happiness ... and ignore them. Even negative thoughts, such as revenge, are a burden and stop us from seeing the beautiful things.

Happiness is a frame of mind, you have choices to make, now that's realistic

I've known people who have gone through unspeakable hardships

On their road to recovery, thoughts of revenge was never part of their healing process.

You could poison yourself forever by doing that, there will always be situations you could apply "revenge" on. You'll gain nothing.



OP is right, ditch the baggage if you wants success

I would have to know what everyone considers baggage to respond properly.

By my definition, most of us, (especially if you’re older) have baggage.

I have baggage but it doesn’t mean I’m not happy. I smile and have a lot of fun every single day. My scars will remain and sometimes my baggage makes me behave in a way I dislike but I try to recognize that and deal with it at that moment. Hopefully my partner will recognize that and perhaps even remind me when I’m behaving differently.

Now I know this doesn’t happen until you know each other well and know each other’s history. If you are both compassionate, it can be a wonderful relationship.

quite right.

I suppose baggage is a bit vague.
I meant general resentment of the opposite sex, blaming ones problems on others, unresolved relationships, emotional disturbance, self pity all that sort of thing. Not a good frame of mind for dating.

So on the point with this one.. Too many think finding a partner will make life perfect.. That will be a rude awakening for many.. If your not happy with yourself and your life no one will be able to wave that magic wand and make it happen..

What is in the past people need to learn from it forgive others and realize at times what happens teaches us.. those that dwell in the past will always live in the past and miss what is in front of them today...

Many feel they can not be single... and like it.. Some really need to be alone for a while and get to know themselves again.. If both partners are happy with themselves it just enhances a relationship...

One needs to learn to move on and get past old relationships before they jump into another...

We've ALL got pasts, hurts, scars, hopes and desires.
At our age there are no clean slates.
None of us find a blank sheet of paper in someone else.

The thing is to find someone whose past/ baggage is something you can deal with.

very true

some things hurts or scars never really heal, they become part of what we are.
They make us deeper.
I guess the deeper we become, the less we can relate to shallow individuals.

Typical how people give a negative twist to a beautiful light posting. The OP is absolutely positive and full of hope, then people end up talking about baggage. Why focus on that and not the positive?

Anyways... a clean slate, would any mature person be looking for a clean slate? I'm not! I want someone who's lived, has got experience and through that gained wisdom and insight.

Baggage is when someone is still carrying their pain and problems from the past around with them and is reacting from those hurts and issues.

Having gone through experiences, having 'scars' -a phrasing I don't really like- is not baggage (anymore), it's life experience. A wonderful thing.

First, your personal happiness is based on you! Your desires, your chosen lifestyle, and what you make of your life. Go and live your life and if someone comes into it for you, great; if not, continue to enjoy what you already have!

Not only that, but sometimes the best things just happen. Almost by accident or coincidence.

Having a happy and/or positive approach can actually make this more likely to happen. It's like the Law of Attraction in the book, The Secret. Positivity attracts positive opportunities and results.

I totally agree with Steve. You will be in when you feel some level of happiness within yourself . And happiness is personal for everyone. For me , it's an ongoing inner journey towards self discovery , self love, self healing , gratitude for what you have, and serenity with what you can"t or won't have .Whe you start making even small steps forwrd on that spectrum, you are actually in a better head space to find love