But there are some that are so difficult to deal with.

addiction, they don't care about anything else.

It's the easy way to a very pathetic form of satisfaction. Relationships, children, employment, house and car payments, extended family.....all of these things eventually become secondary to an addict. All those things require effort and responsiblity. Drugs don't. You get them, do them, you're high....pretty easy. No problems, no stress, no worries.....They get to avoid the technicalities of life. They get to walk away from life. Drugs are the choice they make when they don't have the stamina to make it in a normal and everyday society.

first, unless you've done some drugs you shouldn't voice your opinion

second, there are plenty of functional people who are on drugs. people who take care of their responsibilities first and their habbits second

third, it's women who turn to drugs as an emotional crutch as well

maybe as men, we're far less equipped to deal with the emotions we're taught our whole lives to bottle up?

Care to explain? Substance abuse effects many more then just the addict. I tend to hear this type of defensive poster from people that are active and quickly sliding to their low point.

Again... You are alluding to a troubling place. Every addict I've ever known was functional at one time. The use of the word 'Habit' speaks far different then recreational or social use though.

This point has already been covered and recovered in this thread. Why bring it up one more time?

No insult intended...really.... But speak for yourself. I was not brought into this world illequiped..and not about to blame my wrongs on a claim to be a social and emotional imbecile. That would just be me being unaccountable.

This is something that's bothered me over the years. Recently, I found out that this man I'd been involved with is doing drugs and it certainly explains his major personality changes. We are no longer friends, for obvious reasons. But what makes a man choose to take this path?

Most of us are... if we are any sort of addict at all. I would think an easy addict to deal with would be a poser, if they are currently using.
The best thing people in my life could do ~For me~ was what I was doing for myself while in addiction. They isolated me. They did not try to save me from me. They watched from a distance as I straddled the line between life and certain death. A few of them also did not forget who I was, either. When I had clearly forgotten. I admire their courage for that. It very much helped when I bounced off of my bottom and was ready to help myself get my life back together.

Well said Jist!!...
That's why I mentioned earlier about there being so many variables as to the rhyme and reason behind drug use!...
As far as people keeping their distance yet close enough to offer a soft place to land is crucial..to some extent..I've been there done that..from both sides of the fence!..



I'm sure it appears that way...and you may very well be right for those you have had experience with. I have felt that in dealing with others who were in their addiction to. However.. I was injecting myself into something that had nothing to do with me. Trying to make it about me...when it had nothing to do with me at all. A pretty typical reaction of the care taker and co-dependant of any addict.

I did care. Cared a lot. Even though it must have been difficult to tell, considering I used and manipulated those who took my addiction personally. I used their sense of guilt, shame and hurt feelings that I chose a substance over them to further my addiction. As an addict.. I simply removed my power to make choices, as hard as that might be to understand. So...somewhere along the way.. I did make a choice. One that had some staying power and long term effect on my life and everyone around me. I chose to not choose.

It is much healthier for those subject to the repercussions of addiction to not make it personal.. Healthier for both themselves and the practicing addict. If you don't make it about you.. It removes much of the power an addict might have over you and the relationship.
As far as removing your power to make choices, I so completely understand!!..I was in a similar situation...you nailed it...

being in a relationship gives you one of the few legitmate reasons to take drugs

i didn't say i was speaking for myself, now did i?

This is something that's bothered me over the years. Recently, I found out that this man I'd been involved with is doing drugs and it certainly explains his major personality changes. We are no longer friends, for obvious reasons. But what makes a man choose to take this path?

maybe as men, we're far less equipped to deal with the emotions we're taught our whole lives to bottle up?

Debbie JT:

My sentiments exactly. And my next question would probably be, how can a woman avoid someone who does drugs? This particular person hadn't done them, then had his cousin move in, and it all went downhill from there.

its a disease..it takes over family's relationships..destroys everything in theyre lives if they are really addicted..trust me been there, done it..alcoholism runs in my family and i've seen some nasty stuff..untill he decides to get help, nothing will never changes..

first, unless you've done some drugs you shouldn't voice your opinion

This is something that's bothered me over the years. Recently, I found out that this man I'd been involved with is doing drugs and it certainly explains his major personality changes. We are no longer friends, for obvious reasons. But what makes a man choose to take this path?