Guide for not-so-perfect relationship

To be loved is no doubt the most wonderful feeling, but unlike dating there is a lot more to chip in a relationship to keep it healthy, satisfying and happy.

And they lived happily ever after”- a phrase that you might have read in many rom-coms particularly in Disney’s Fairytales. But there is no such thing as a happy ending in real life. Because the actual struggle begins after you find your ‘soul mate’ and get in a relationship with him/her. When the two of you get to know the less charismatic side of each other but you still try your best not to give up. And that’s what the relationship is; built on the foundation of love but nourished with the constant effort from both sides under the rays of long-time commitment that don’t fade even in the harshest circumstances.

So, if you are having any up and down in your relationship. We are here to help you with these amazing tips gathered from a bunch of happy couples in their 60s.

Couple using Guide for not-so-perfect relationships

Retain your Individuality

There is no doubt that love transforms us in unimaginable ways. But do keep a check that it must not change the distinct entities of you two. Because the key to a healthy relationship is to give adequate space to your partner. And let them grow in their circle of friends. Let them do the things they love and never impose your choices on them. Because if you can’t trust him to watch nicks with his buddies or of her to go on a girls’ trip, it speaks for your own insecurities. After all, if you think that a little cleavage at the beach or a six packs abs can steer your partner away, you clearly don’t think highly of yourself.

Connect- talk, listen, laugh

Amid the busy work life and pile of family responsibilities, make sure to spend quality time with your partner. Maybe an hour a day. But while you are there for them, disconnect from the rest of the world. Be it your social media, work pressure, home chore or anything. Give your hundred percent attention to the person sitting next to you and talk. Not about the random things but the thing that actually matters. Like, get to know your partner. What thoughts keep them awake late at night. What dreams do they see and where their mind wanders while they are stuck in an awful gathering.

And while they are speaking, listen to them with all ears. Be a good listener. That’s what will give them confidence that you are genuinely interested in them. Moreover, you can always cherish the moments by revisiting the past. Especially laughing off on your immature mistakes.

Respect- that’s more than Love

Falling for his dimples, or the way she laughs might work in the early days of your relationships. But when the beauty begins to fade and the heat starts to simmer; it’s the respect that holds you guys together. Because in marriage when you are committed to a person for lifetime. There would always be some days when you won’t be able to love your partner. Their imperfections will dominate the charisma. And the unavoidable conflicts will start hurting your feelings. But even in the darkest of these days, cling to the respect for your partner by believing in them. Believe that they are giving their best to their relationship. Believe that they will never keep a secret from you. And believe that they will always be on your side no matter what.

Keep the physical intimacy alive

In the era of dating sites when a hot date is just around a few clicks on the Mingle2, you must satisfy your partner’s physical needs. It’s all fun when you two can’t keep your hands off each other in the first few years of relationship. But with time, the spark in your sexual life will dim slightly. However, when we are in a long time relationship, physical intimacy is not restricted to sex only. It’s the touch of your partner that matters. That can even be expressed from a light kiss on a cheek, a warm cuddling session or simply holding hands. Also, there is no harm in revisiting your old memories by high school style make-out session once in a while.

Communicate-specially the things that bother you:

There are no secrets in a relationship. Even a non-significant one has the capability to divide you apart. The main problem is that whenever we are having trouble in our relationship, we discuss it with everybody. Our best friends, therapists, even with a stranger at the bar. But not with the person we should. So the take-home advice is if something is bothering you from the last dinner. Maybe because he didn’t notice the change in your hair color or when she ignored you for her pet. Don’t overthink, just go and talk to your partner. If you two are on the same page, believe me, you can sort out everything.

Have expectations but keep them real

Your relationship is meant to change with time. So you better make up your mind to embrace it. It’s not always going to be a morning waking up in your lover’s arms. Nor he is always going to make a bedtime breakfast for you. It’s more like a tiring morning waiting for your turn to use the toilet. Or rushing to work with a toast slice in your hand. But even in this hectic schedule, the presence of your partner will be enough to soothe you up. It’s the feeling to have someone at your back ready to hold you up when you fall. A person whose mere presence will make your evenings shine.

Because the relationship is a long time commitment where both of you put in your efforts. It’s more than a fling that keeps you head to toe in love but only for a few days. A relationship demands struggle and as a result brings happiness, satisfaction and, companionship for life.

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