Everyone has a view as to what makes a relationship work, but there are certain commandments of dating that we all can agree are inevitable in any successful relationship. You break ‘em, bad things happen. Sometimes we know and yet we stray, and are often sorry when we do. But it will be better off if we stick to following these rules, well that is if we are interested in keeping our relationship.
1. You are responsible for your own happiness
First off, your man is not responsible for your happiness, neither is your woman, whatever the case may be. Yes, your date is a spice to your life but do not peg your joy to anyone, besides you can only make someone else happy when you are happy. A happy relationship is made up of two happy individuals. The whole crap of being with him/her so your life would be transformed is immature and disastrous. Hence, figure your crap out before you get on the dating train.
2. Do not bad talk your date behind their backs
This is one mistake most of us make, and it gets really disheartening for your partner when they find out. It’s totally normal to want to talk about an argument you had with your date or maybe ask for advice, but try to resist the temptation of badmouthing your date to people, because when they find out, it’s often an unpleasant and awkward situation. Learn to talk over issues with your partner, and resolve arguments between yourselves, it keeps your relationship intact and cuts down on external factors.
3. Spend time together
This is the backbone of any relationship, quality time together. It is not uncommon to get caught up in activities and forget to make each other priority, but you have to consciously make out time for one another and get together to make amazing memories.
4. Do not cheat
The reasons are clear as crystal. Just don’t.
5. Avoid lying as much as possible
This is one thing I have seen crumble so many relationships. Do not base your relationship on lies, avoid it as much as you can, because someday, the truth gets out, and then what?
Lies breed distrust, and distrust if left unchecked can deteriorate the bond between the both of you. Lies are capable of ending your relationship instantly or progressively. What the hell, tell the truth and face the consequences like an adult.
6. Avoid being jealous all the time
Jealousy paints you out as insecure and makes you act like a lunatic. Get it together, do not act up anytime you see your date with another man or woman. It makes your date feel you do not trust them. It is in fact complimentary that other people find your date attractive, it shows you have a good taste.
7. Stop idealizing your date, treat as human
As funny as it might sound, this is a spoiler alert. Avoid overly petting or spoiling your date. Yes, it’s good you do that sometimes but taking it too far is really disastrous and would destroy your relationship in the long run, it is really important you strike a balance. Also, do not be a YES-MAN or a YES-WOMAN, you don’t have to agree to everything he says, argue, make your point clear, it is not good to swallow all the hurt and just play along, it doesn’t often last, I mean, for how long do you think you can keep up.
You lose your respect when you keep playing along like a dummy, you have to be heard. Stop treating your date like they are God.
8. Break up if you are unhappy
You don’t have to keep putting up, if you feel constantly unhappy in a relationship, it’s probably best if you end it. “it is better to be unhappy alone, than unhappy with someone else.” Marilyn Monroe. If you were happier before you got into the relationship, then it is even more reason you should get out of it. He/she is probably not right for you.
9. Be yourself
If you are hoping to have a long-lasting relationship with your date, what is the point of pretending to be what you are not. Be plain as a book, be yourself, stop acting up because it is really important that one is comfortable with their date. When he gets to know you as this one person, and then a different you which is technically the real you, starts to unfold, issues may arise. Hence, it is really important that you be yourself.
One really important ingredient in any successful relationship is being comfortable around one another. If you are always “working at it” all the time, then there is a problem, especially if the relationship significantly old, because in the early stages, it is understood that you are just getting to know each other. If you find yourself always planning out your words or working out how to avoid a hot button, then something is really wrong. There should no fear in relating with your date.
10. Respect each other
Love is the bond between any couple, but respect is the basics for any successful relationship. Do not take your date for granted. This can end your relationship before you even notice, it spurs up a subtle thought that can often grow into hatred in the mind of your date. Yes, you do not have to agree on everything, however, always respect each other’s point of view, and recognize one another’s worth. Respect is the grease of any relationship, it reduces friction and keeps your love fresh and dynamic.
It is important that you keep to these rules, have them at the back of your mind and incorporate it into your life as much as possible. You don’t have to be uptight on these rules, they are seamless and easy to keep so long as you desire to keep your relationship.