Making a Good Online Dating Impression with Your Messages

M2 writing a message

In the days before the Internet (we shudder to even think of those dark times), people had to meet potential dates face-to-face or through the recommendations of friends, family, or co-workers. Professional matchmakers are still pretty busy in some countries even now, but online dating has made finding potential dates, mates, and friends a quick process. But is online dating really easier? After all, you still have to make a good first impression, but now you have to do it with just a picture and a profile rather than a handshake and a flirtatious smile.

Your online dating profile acts as a messenger to all others. It portrays you in a nutshell: what you look like, what you like to do, and what you value. We’ve discussed profile picture tips for guys and girls, so today we’ll talk about how to send that first “I’m interested” message to people you’ve met online.

Tip #1: Keep It Short and Use Their Name

“Hello, Shanna” or “Good afternoon, Alex” are two types of perfectly acceptable greetings. It is more appropriate to formally greet someone in the first message you send than to jump right in with no greeting at all. Make sure you use the person’s name, and be absolutely sure you have spelled it correctly.

Tip #2: Figure out What You Have in Common

Maybe you’re attracted to this person’s profile because he or she seems to love the same football team, likes to cook, shares your passion for 19th century French literature, or can’t get enough of vintage automobiles ”just like you! It’s important to find something you have in common because you’ll need it for Tip #3.

Tip #3: Limit Your Message to No More Than Three Paragraphs

While you don’t want your first message to be too long, you also don’t want it to be too short. Write at least two paragraphs, but don’t go longer than three. Writing, “Hello, Shanna, I see that you enjoy water skiing. Your profile picture is gorgeous. Sincerely, Alex,may not merit a response because you haven’t shared anything about yourself or asked an open-ended question. Shanna might assume that Alex just wants to see her in a bikini, whether or not that is Alex’s primary goal.

If you’re confused about what to include, try this:

  • In the first paragraph, introduce yourself with your name, age, and city of residence. You should also include your marital status (single, divorced, etc.) even if it’s listed on your profile. Briefly say something positive about something they have written in their profile, whether it’s a quote or a movie they like, or a book they’ve read and enjoyed.
  • In the second paragraph, talk about what you have in common (you already know this because you’ve followed Tip #2). Briefly explain your own interest in this activity or idea.
  • In the third paragraph, you need a call to actions some reason why this person you are writing should write you back. It can be as simple as asking him or her a question about the thing you have in common, asking if they have other hobbies they didn’t list on their profile, or asking them another open-ended question. Open-ended questions are questions that cannot be answered with “yes” or “no” and this allows the person you’ve contacted to have something to say in response. It also indicates interest in that person as a person.

Tip #4: Check Spelling 

Before you hit send, read through your message to catch any spelling mistakes. It’s a little thing, but good spelling makes you look intelligent.

Now that you know how to send a message to that special someone, go ahead and put together a free profile at Mingle2 and start meeting other exciting singles today. Visit our Home page to get started!

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