Should I Break Up with My Boyfriend?

a sad lady looking at her phone
(Photo by mikoto.raw from Pexels) “The saddest thing about love is that not only that it cannot last forever, but that heartbreak is soon forgotten.” – William Faulkner

It is difficult to decide that you want to break up with someone. Letting go of a relationship, no matter how short or long term it has been, is always a hard thing.

Most people often say, ‘I love my boyfriend, but I want to break up’. Sadly, love is not enough to keep a relationship going, no matter what you see on screen. Many dynamics are at play in a relationship that makes it work.

When faced with the question of whether they should break up with him, some people feel like they are giving up too soon. There is a tendency to think it is just a rough patch, and they will get through it. However, it not always the case. We will look at a few signs that you should break up with him. Let’s get started.

You are Constantly Fighting

Remember how your relationship was when you began dating? Yes, I may have had some disagreements or fights, which is normal in any relationship. But you always worked it out and resolved the issues. Also, these fights were not constant as you would communicate and solve the problems.

Now, the issue comes when you are always fighting. You cannot remember the last time you amicably solved a problem. You are always in a bad mood and feel angry at him. If this is the case, it can answer your question; do I break up with him?

You Have Unmet Needs

We seek different kinds of fulfillment in relationships. The needs can be intellectual stimulation, emotional satisfaction, or needing a partner to be better money managers to achieve financial goals. If you feel your needs are unmet, you can communicate with your partner. When they are unwilling or unable to meet those needs, you can decide to end things with your boyfriend.

Additionally, if you seek other people to meet those needs, it also fulfills its time to end the relationship.

Zero Support from Friends or Family

It is important to take into account how your trusted family and friends view your relationship. If no one in your close social circle supports the relationship, it is a big red flag. The people close to you know and understand you better, especially when it comes to the person you are seeing.

When you start to lie to your friends or family about the relationship because of their disapproval, it is also a sign you should let the relationship go. A relationship should also not isolate you from your friends and family. If this happens, it is a sign that it is not the right one for you.

Abusive Partner: Physically or Emotionally

An abusive relationship comes in many shapes and forms. Statistically, one in every four women has endured an abusive relationship. Studies show that women develop an attachment to such relationships and often viewed their abusive partners as dependable and affectionate.

One of the red flags you can watch out for is a partner who isolates you from your family and friends and uses physical and verbal abuse. We indeed have insecurities that we work hard to overcome. However, some lovers tend to make their partners feel bad about themselves by capitalizing on these insecurities.

Often, they can increase your self-doubt by bringing you down in front of other people. It is a form of emotional abuse that can get worse with time. Hence, it can be an indication for you to call it quits. Besides, there is no future in such a relationship.

Trying to Fix Your Relationship for More Than A year

If you have been dating for several years, it’s hard to conceive the idea of ending a relationship. However, if you have been trying to make things work in the relationship for more than a year, you need to rethink things. Spending too much time on the fence and indecision eats away at the foundation of the relationship. Counselors advise that you dissolve the relationship if you do not see progress or success within that year.

You Have Different Values

One of the reasons why one would say ‘I think I want to break up with my boyfriend’ is when values do not align. If you have different perspectives on life, a breakup is not such a bad idea. Our life values inform the way we make decisions and live. Such values include generosity, honesty, compassion for the marginalized, and many others. If you have radical views on such fundamental values, the relationship is headed for a serious collision.

Spiritual values also radically inform how you live your life. There can be insurmountable barriers when you go down the road with a person who shares a strong contradicting opinion. It can be a source of frustration and intense disappointment in your boyfriend.

You no Longer Like Your Boyfriend

It’s one thing to have strong romantic feelings and love for a person, but it’s another to like them. It is dangerous ground on which to be. On most days, it’s possible to get by. However, as we said earlier, two people in a relationship experience difficulties. If you no longer like your boyfriend, it becomes hard to resolve conflict. If you no longer like him, you can end the relationship.

You are Wondering What Else is Out there

There are thoughts that when they become too constant in our minds, we should pay attention. A bigger indication of a failing relationship is when you wish you were with another person. You could be thinking about an ex, or you are developing feelings for someone else. It is grounds for a breakup.

If you have a partner who is also always found in compromising situations with other people, you may need to dumb your boyfriend. Relationships are complicated enough without a person making you feel insecure.

Conclusion

It is human nature to want to make relationships work against all odds. However, there are times when it is clear that you should let go. Such cases include abusive partners, feelings of unfulfillment, and seeking other people. Friends and family members failing to support your relationship is also an indication that things could be better. You can go through these tips to decide if you should break up with your boyfriend.

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