try getting some sun <like a sun tan> it is suposed to help with seasonal depression..
u can always talk to me to. im good to cheer people up

Walk up and say.
hello
my name is inigo montoya
you killed my father
prepare to die
if she laughs
marry her

find my path and wade out of self doubt

last few days have been crappy for me. i feel like a fish out of water and im not sure where to go. usually chruch helps some but it hasn't lately

i like being isolated.. cause the people who are 'closest' to me usually are the ones who fark me over. My fmaily hates me. my older bro is a drop out and a loser and only got a job cause he knocked his gf up and well i guess m 8 years of college and 4 degrees don't mean squat to them. im honestly tired of trying to trying anymore. I just dont care wether i get a good job or not cause no one frankly will ever give me any credit and i smile and take it up the az cause im a moron.

i am just not sure what to do.. i dont know if anyone else will take chance with me and that is scary.. and i am scared to try again cause i don't want to fail again

If u ever need to talk Karen you know where your at?

I am kinda down. the job didn't work out. It was 10 times more stress and work than i thought it would be. The 'person' i was spoused to work with was one of the bosses and only came in when he felt like it. so im back at the gas station and i'm kinda discouraged when i look at apps now.

can someone get me a cheese sandwich while their out

im feeling alittle down tonight. I don't want to go back to my new job but i need the experience and im trapped. im to old to start over again and i have to build a future for myself but i dont see this place as being it.. that and i cant really disappoint my mom again. i sometimes wish i was dead so i woudlnt worry myslef and others again..

ya i should proably get help but i hate shrinks and drugs

i havnet been sleeping but am afarid to use sleeping pills cause im scared i might just od on them

i totally understand cloudy
i wanna go to new zealand
its also wierd cause i studyed in college for so long to get a nice computer job now i have one and i kinda long to be a clerk at a gas station again..
life plays funny games on us (its gods or what evers humor)

just found this off my facebook it used ot cheer me up maybe it will cheer people up
it might just cheer me up again


Thinking of you, Where ever your are?
We pray for our sorrows to end.
and hope that our hearts will blend.
Now I will step forward to realize this wish.

And who knows?
Starting a new journey may not be so hard.
Or maybe it has begun?

There are many worlds, but they share the same sky.
One Sky.
One Destiny.

np karen always here for ya
well almost a week in im not sure
its really quiet there and i dont know if i can do the job or if it will be long term but im trying to go with it

i gave up on it.
it is fun if you have friends there but it can drain your soul (not literally).

it makes me sad to think i spent that time playing and i did get fatter cause of it..

but i had 3 *****ing 70's

i totally understand where your coming from man. I am just the same way.. sometimes you just have to step out of the comfort zone and i know its hard to say it cause i have a hard time to do it myself.

i dont know whoever said that needs professional help...

well im back from my first day. they wont let me skip lunch and get out early. which sucks cause well i didn't eat lunch today.. or even take a break. they having me work with expression web most of the week (the new version of front page). i don't know if i lik it there or can do the job. they keep pressing how much that they rely on the website it puts alot of stress on me...

it is also real quiet and im a talkative person...

the thing is.. i kinda have to marie.. i woe a ton in student loans and wont ever pay them off where im at right now though i love it there.. so i have to venture out of my zone of comfort

Just thought id give a update.
well i'm finishing up my full final days at the gas station.. I will be honest i miss it. I also am suffering from the biggest case of the jitters. I just have alot of doubt and fear right now and im leaving a place where i feel safe to try and make my life better. and it is really scary

i dont mind i cant cook but still. i gotta unload truck all by myself again and i don't want them to try and throw hrs on me cause i want to go do something tonight

i worked and the guy whose is spsoed to work all weekend quit so i might have to pick up extra hrs