Now THAT'S funny! I don't care who you are! Brokeback mountain!
That's a good one! I should have made that the title! :)

Hey, this isn't true you guys! Its just a JOKE! Hey, I AM posting this
stuff in the joke area, right?

The last four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado in Kansas, and off
they spin to the Land of OZ. After threatening trials and tribulations,
they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great
Wizard.

"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: "I had a terrible time with Iran, so
I've come for some courage."

"No problem" says the Wizard, "WHO IS NEXT?" Ronald Reagan steps
forward, "Well.., Well.., Well.., I need a brain." "Done" says the
Wizard.

"Who comes next before the Great Wizard?" Up steps George Bush sadly,
"I'm told by the American people that I need a heart."

"I've heard it's true" says the Wizard. "Consider it done."

Then there is a great silence. Bill Clinton is just standing there,
looking around, but doesn't say a word.

Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "WHAT BRINGS YOU TO THE EMERALD
CITY!?"

And Bill replies - "Is Dorothy around?"

So, two firemen, Bill and John are having sex in a smokefilled room,
when one of the fire chiefs walk in and says, "What the hell are you two
doing?"
Fireman John replies, "Bill was choking, sir."
To which the Fire Chief says, "Well, why didn't you try mouth to mouth?"
Fireman Bill says, "How do you think this whole thing started?"

I don't know how many of you shop at Wamart, but this may be useful to
know.

I have become a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. This
happened to me and it could happen to you. Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 18-year-old girls come over to your car as
you are packing your shopping in the trunk. They both start wiping your
windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out
of their skimpy t-shirts. It is impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask
you for a ride to another Costco. You agree and they get in the back
seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of
them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while
the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again
on Saturday, and also yesterday and most likely tomorrow.

A farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is
laying on the bed.
The farmer says "This is the pig I've been sleeping with."
His wife looks at him with disgust and says "You moron, that's not a
pig. It's a sheep!"
The farmer looks at his wife and says "What makes you think I was
talking to you?"

A jumbo jet is just coming into the Tampa Airport on its final approach.
The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our
final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you for
flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Tampa Bay".

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his
conversation from the ****pit. The co-pilot says to the pilot, "Well,
skipper, watcha gonna do in Tampa?"

"Well, " says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and
take a big crap.... then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the
huge tits out for dinner..... then I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her
back to my room and put it to her big time all night."

Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and
down the aisle trying to get a look at the new stewardess. Meanwhile
the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She's so
embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the ****pit to turn
the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's
bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta
take a **** first.

How YOU doin'?