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Topic:
Sex
Edited by
ArtGurl
on
Sat 07/13/13 03:21 PM
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Some of you are starting to disgust me. But I ask myself why am I surprised. I love it actually...that whole judge not lest he be judged kinda vibe going on in here. I should have brought popcorn. Very 2013!  I don't actually see anyone really condoning rampant sex with anything moving ... although if that is your thing ... fly at it. Most people are talking about a relationship with someone ... not necessarily marriage and not necessarily leading to marriage but a relationship that can be every bit as committed. Some days I just look around and let the circus music play in my head...life's greatest hits! I am still kinda new here. I don't know the ways of Mingle or the people that are here yet. I expected a cross section like what I see outside of the computer. I am not disappointed. I expected to find some that would be of the same mind as you lilredhollyhood and I expected to find others that would be all the way on the other side. I don't really have any arguments yet that are stronger than the one that have been in my head already. The only thing I can suggest is to think if it were your Mom and Dad or brother/sister and their spouse. The physical cost of taking care of someone over a long period of time in tremendous. And sometimes the care taker does not make it out either and in fact may go first. Do you just shrug your shoulders and say well that is the way it should be. Rod, you need to do what is right for you ... not for anyone else. I sent you an email this morning ... not sure if you got it. |
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Topic:
Optimizepress question
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Thank you
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Topic:
Sex
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It's only when we stray from our own moral standards that we see a thing as wrong, so this answer is too relative for a singular answer. Personally, it's wrong FOR ME to engage in sexual relations with someone I don't care deeply for. But that is my standard, because I feel anything less deminishes the value and anything more might eliminate the possibility altogether.  i personally conduct myself in a way that is honouring of me And the one I am with ...For me, I only have sex inside of a nurturing, monogamous relationship. Not because I think it is wrong not to but because that is what feels honouring of me. But I won't decide what is right or wrong for someone else. It is a personal moral compass and choosing to honour yourself does not mean choosing to dishonour another. |
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Topic:
SEX: Isn't over-rated?
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It's not just guys who want sex. If you're a woman who can't own up to wanting it as much as a guy does then you're delusional. Guys are just more open about it. Personally I think sex is under-rated, it's such an amazing thing to share with someone. I don't understand why people act like it's not a big deal, it's what makes a relationship. I agree! It is a wonderful thing to share with someone and yes, women want it too! It makes me kind of nuts that there is so much judgment around sex. It doesn't make sense to me. It feels amazing and improves our health and well being in so many ways. As for the OP ...why are men so thirsty for sex? What if the drive goes beyond the surface of attraction. Much like when we crave certain foods, it is because there is a component of that food that the body is trying to get. What if their bodies being the amazing things they are, are just providing information that keep them healthy? A 2005 study of over 30,000 men found that those who ejaculated more than 21 times per month cut their risk of prostate cancer by 75%. I am not talking about distraction and addiction, nor am I talking about a license to cheat...but healthy males need to and should be having sex a lot ...with themselves or with a partner. I know so many women who withhold sex as a way to control their men or to punish them. I personally think that is abusive. |
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Topic:
Sex
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: What about sex outside of marriage when there is some other factor. I struggle with it because my wife of thirty years had a stroke five years ago and is now disabled (more than just physically). She no longer knows me other than as her care giver. Wow.. what happened to your wedding vows? My wedding vows are intact. That is why I am asking. Is there a time when one partner is no longer able or capable ... Or is the healthy partner to remain celibate for the duration even if it is years. Dude, it's inappropriate for a widow to re-marry immediately after, much less a husband to consider sex outside the marriage while their souse is still kickin! That's technically cheating if you go through with it. If your vows are still intact, freakin honor them. I second that!  I don't know. If she now only knows you as her carer and doesn't think of you as her husband it's hard to see how it could possibly bother her. What do you think she would want you to do? I mean, when she was still the woman you married, if you had a conversation about whether it would be alright if this happened to her, what do you think she would have said? Would she have wanted you to be happy and would it make you happy to be with another woman? A sexless marriage is kind of a marriage in name only. nonetheless there is the commitment that was made. that's like sayingit is OK to steal as long as you don;t get caught. I don;t agree that there "is no right or wrong" here. It's more a matter of honor. If you have no problem not honoring your commitment than so as you please. but you will have to live with the knowledge....I know I would not date a man from thsoe circumstances....too much drama potential and disresepct to the infirm Interesting thread of thought here. Yes I can see how guilt and shame are so much more honouring of yourself. And how suppressing who you are is so much more honouring of another. Dear Child...how wonderful it is that you are born. Welcome to this beautiful loving God creation called life. Now I know that you are a creative expansive being. An infinite being that contains within you the seed ... The source... Of ALL creation. And I know that you are here to evolve, expand and grow. And i thank you for your willingness to do so because without you on this leading edge of evolution and discovery there could be no expansion. But here's the deal. Once you make a choice you are never, ever allowed to change your mind. So to help you along your way....When those pesky urges come up ... . those silly knowings in your body that tell you it is time to grow, evolve and expand....And believe me, they will come up a lot because that infinite part of you know it needs to evolve....but don' worry i have a plan... I have seen others use it to stop those knowings and i have been pretty successful at using it myself ..so here is my greatest gift to you dear child of mine... there is this effective potion, you just need swallow it. I brewed it myself but most people have a similar recipe and I am told it originally came from God so we can't change the flavour of it. Because I love you though, I have made it taste the best that I could. It is super effective though and has a cumulative effect in the body so you will need less and less of it to produce the same effects over time. what's that honey? What's it made of? Well I don't know think it is very appropriate that you ask those kinds of questions but if you must know it is mostly fear with health doses of blame, shame, regret and guilt. Yes honey, I know it tastes bad but we all have to take it. No, no...I know it doesn't feel good but ....yes, I know you are a creative, expansive, joyful being but...here take a sip...and another... Ahh sweet child. I love you so much. Now go into the world and be happy and know that you can be and do anything....well except change your mind of course....and except choosing again when circumstances change...other than that...have fun out there. But not too much fun because that would be bad too. In fact, you should probably take a swig or two of the potion daily just to make sure... Ok...I love you. Be happy. 
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Topic:
Sex
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No right or wrong here. It is just a choice we each must make for ourselves.  Yes. I have no judgment about it. No need to conclude that something is right or wrong. And certainly no need to tell others what to do with their bodies. People are so locked up in judgment of themselves it is a wonder any of us can function at all. If two consenting adult choose to have sex they are free to do so. I don't do anything that doesn't feel honouring of me and the one I am with so my personal choice is to not sleep around. But I certainly have sex when I am in a relationship and have no plans to marry again. I am not anti-marriage...and one day I may marry again but I don't require it to be fulfilled in my relationship with my special someone. |
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Topic:
"Galt"ing Out
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White space is our friend! Especially online. Text become almost impossible to read on some screens when it is jammed up like this. If possible, please repost with white space between paragraphs and key points.
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Topic:
How do you show you care?
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I'd let him use my air compressor and pneumatic tools
and keep very quiet during the playoffs...
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 I am happy when I am single and happy when I am coupled. There is single and lonely -- which is a focus on the absence of another and There is single and alone -- WITH myself When you truly have yourself and are living a full life, you cannot be lonely. Nice post OP! And congratulations to you and your sweetie for finding one another
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Topic:
Sex
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No right or wrong here. It is just a choice we each must make for ourselves.
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Topic:
Hopeless romantic
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Awww Here is what I know for sure. The more you grow and evolve and embrace the fullness of who you are the less you will feel the need for a life partner. And the less you feel the need for one, the more likely you are to find one. It is an interesting paradox. Fill yourself up. Create a big, beautiful happy life for YOU! Because it is joyful and expansive for YOU! That will be the biggest turn on for any guy. You will know what you want. You will be fulfilled and less likely to settle for less than you deserve and desire. And you won't cripple a guy under the pressure of having to make you happy. You will be free to love and enjoy the heck out of one another. ...and ... Try reframing your point of view to being a hopeful romantic rather than a hopeless one. Words have power.  Low self esteem is not a life long curse ... It is just a set of beliefs that you bought into that didn't originate with you in the first place. I had very low self esteem growing up. You can change anything. And finding love doesn't mean you have to be gorgeous by societies standards. When I started loving myself, other people started loving me ... Even those guys for whom I wasn't their 'type'. Learn to accept and love you. Embrace the amazing gift you are to the world. Create a full happy life. The rest will take care of itself. |
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I affect people slowly, people have admitted to being frightened when first meeting me. One lady said I looked like a bulldog ready to bite someone's head off. However, we became good friends. Also, people tell me I usually look like a slob, but I have always just relied on my personality to get women. So I think the women I mess out on are either shallow or scared to talk to me. Interesting. Do you think you use an intimidating vibe to consciously or unconsciously weed people out? I am actually so easy going, I have ex g/fs call and ask if I am still alive. However, when I am focused on something I don't take much crap I sensed that about you. |
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Topic:
Aliens, what would you ask
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Do people on your planet do the same stupid chit to one another that they do on this one? Oh yes, and worse. I've been told they eat each other. So much for conscious evolution.
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I affect people slowly, people have admitted to being frightened when first meeting me. One lady said I looked like a bulldog ready to bite someone's head off. However, we became good friends. Also, people tell me I usually look like a slob, but I have always just relied on my personality to get women. So I think the women I mess out on are either shallow or scared to talk to me. Interesting. Do you think you use an intimidating vibe to consciously or unconsciously weed people out? |
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Oddly enough this has led to a relatively isolated existence...People just don't seem as interested. Hi Fear Why do you think that is? City pace...Doesn't seem like anyone has the time. Oh well, that's why we have encyclopedia's. That is a shame. I still catch a good number of stories from Old Timers here and there, but here in Colorado it seems thin...Might be the air, not sure, but it is different here. I think it is pretty widespread. People's lives are busy trying to survive. I don't see a lot of thriving in my travels these days. Too much worry and fear closes people down. |
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Topic:
Hopeless romantic
Edited by
ArtGurl
on
Thu 07/11/13 02:12 PM
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Awww
Here is what I know for sure. The more you grow and evolve and embrace the fullness of who you are the less you will feel the need for a life partner. And the less you feel the need for one, the more likely you are to find one. It is an interesting paradox. Fill yourself up. Create a big, beautiful happy life for YOU! Because it is joyful and expansive for YOU! That will be the biggest turn on for any guy. You will know what you want. You will be fulfilled and less likely to settle for less than you deserve and desire. And you won't cripple a guy under the pressure of having to make you happy. You will be free to love and enjoy the heck out of one another. ...and ... Try reframing your point of view to being a hopeful romantic rather than a hopeless one. Words have power. |
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Well,,,so far,i've been able to meet whosoever i want to meet....And was shy like hell when i was younger,,,but a bit confident now. Can't say am not a social person cuz of the fact that am reserved by nature,,,but would say i like meeting people who want to meet me...No brainwashing or whatever! Thank you for your response. How do you determine who you want to meet? |
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I'm kind of the opposite of what you're talking about. I'm an unconventional person and find other freaks interesting, while sheeple usually bore me to tears. Is that not the same thing? A fixed point of view about sheeple would prevent one from receiving the experience of knowing those you label as that would it not? |
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I talk to anyone who approaches me...but tend to seek out the ones who don't. No one escapes me?  I do too ...now ... I was way too shy when I was younger ...but was it always that way for you? I hadn't noticed.  I am a curious one too...I know...I hide it soooo well!!! |
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Oddly enough this has led to a relatively isolated existence...People just don't seem as interested. Hi Fear Why do you think that is? City pace...Doesn't seem like anyone has the time. Oh well, that's why we have encyclopedia's. That is a shame. |
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