Hey thanks glad to entertain...but sorry not a key...Wonder get with the program...where are you on this one.

What in an automobile engine serves no purpose but without it the engine does not work?

yay...it was corn...

A man says, "Brothers and sisters, have I none, but that man's father is my father's son." Who is he pointing at?

You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?

Hey thanks I thought it was funny too, I wonder if someone is going to come on here and give me another math lesson in what =0 hahahahaha

The thread title made you look..didn't it?


Two men are sitting at a bar, slowly sipping their drinks.

After a while, the first man approaches the other man, and sits next to him. "This place is great, isn't it?" he asks.

The second man, somewhat surprised at the stranger's remark, replies, "Why do you say that?"

The first man, in a low tone of voice, responds, "Follow me." The two of them walk over to a large window at the end of the room. The window faces out onto the street, 12 floors below.

"Here's why." The first man throws open the window, and boldly steps out into thin air. But he remains aloft!

"The air currents are great here!" he exclaims. "It's very relaxing."

He floats back into the room. As his feet return to the bar-room floor, he invites the second man to try it.

The second man, skeptical, peers out through the window - down to the pavement twelve stories below. He looks to either side, and finally up above, to see if there was anything holding the first man up.

Convinced that it was no trickery, the second man swallows, closes his eyes, and steps out into thin air. He promptly falls twelve stories to the pavement below.

The first man grins and returns to the bar. Looking rather irritated, the barkeep comes over to the place where the man sits.

"You know," he says, disgusted. "You're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."

+1 ~~~> me

The Riddle:

A farmer has to transport a fox, a goose and a sack of grain across a river. The boat is so small that there is room only for him and one of the others at a time, but if he leaves the fox and goose together the fox will kill the goose, and if the goose and the sack of grain are left together the goose will eat the grain. How does he get them all over?

Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “Lisp”

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? And if they aren’t you really needed to take a bath.

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? And if you have any, send them to us!

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you!

Bad News, Good News, Great News


The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door.

"We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife."

"Well, tell me!" the man said.

The policeman said, "We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worse, Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."

So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in San Francisco Bay."

"Oh my god!," said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?"

"Well," said the policeman, "When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on her."

"If that's the good news than what's the great news?!", Mr. Wilkens demanded.

The policeman said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow morning."

I'm going through a dry spell myself.

I thought Kirk was sexxxxy

goodnight

Ummmm tie a cherry stem in a knot?

Darling believe me I tried...but there are other things I can do with my mouth...

How come you haven't sent me any emails??? Still waiting...

I still don't know how to do that?

If you were a piece of fruit what would you be?

I would be a peach