Positive renforcement and negative renforcement tend to collide when it comes to children. I gave up on spanking because all it seemed to install was fear. Fear of being hit, fear of doing anything creative because it may or may not be seen as offensive and fear of the parent themself. That was something that I never wanted my children to have with me so instead of taking from my mother's tactics when we were small (may she rest in peace), I took from my father's book instead.

Swearing (and yes we all do it): Lead by example. If you swear then your children will see it as only natural and swear as well, so it's harder for them to stop if you won't. Teach them what the word means so that there is no ignorance involved if it is used and can be dealt with approperatly. Make a swear jar that they have to place a quarter into every time they swear and you too. Show them that it's although unacceptable to swear that even parents have conciquences.

Temper Tantrums: Even as adults we sulk and storm off when we are angry and just need alone time. The same applies to any child. They want to be seen and heard and because they can't always communicate the same way that we do or see things on the same level they are prone to horribly frustrating fits of rage. Think first as they are screaming; Why are they upset? What would I do in the same situation? What do I need to calm down? (I don't know one person who doesn't loose their temper once in a while) Take the child aside, keep your tone as neutral as possible (don't get mad! This is the key!Don't show that your angry or happy with the behaviour, just disapointment if anything) and escort them away from the situation that had them so upset for some much needed time to themselves to think and just calm down. Even teens need that same space. After they have calmed down enough where they can be talked to, ask what happened, explain that it's okay to be angry but there are better outlits for it and give some examples. (I use this method on my own children and it works.Even with my oldest daughter who is ADHD and prone to fits of rage because she has a speach delay and most people can't understand her)

Sibbling Rivalry or Bullying:This is something that no matter how hard we try to protect them from, happens. Jelousy, miscommunication, different privelages and ways of being raised between parents or just that need to lash out on someone else because your in pain. Kids fight over everything and most often lash out with violence so stopping the behaviour before it starts is good way to avoid more heartache. my daughters fight over toys and clothes and time with me and who gets to use the bathroom first or play video games first. So I time them on the game, make them take turns or play a two player game. When they start to get upset then the game goes off until they are able to calm down and play nice again. When they fight over toys it's corner time. 5 min of silence and then a talk with them each individually to see how they feel and why they are angry or sad. When they fight over clothes it's usually as easy as letting them see other options for what to wear, comprimising so that even though neither are super happy with it, that they can agree that next time they can trade. My 6 year old now is discovering bullies but I have taken active steps to not only speak to the teachers about the situation and keep it closely monitered but to keep a note book of every incident and ask my daughter every day what has all happened in her school day. If it happens once it is too much and must be stopped where it starts and I take the time to talk to the parents and the accused child as well. (sometimes this helps as well because there are always two sides to the story)[1] Tell the teacher [2] Get away from the situation. [3] Tell a parent.

Methods that my dad used that didn't involve violence of any kind to resolve problems;

-- Consistancy: Whatever punishments or rewards that you give, follow through with and keep up. A child learns that is how things are supposed to be and will react better than random punishments and privilages. (example; If my daughter is good for the walk to school and the walk home we go to the cookie club at Sobeys and get her a cookie. Exceptions to this are any irratic misbehaviour just before we leave the house or at school durring the day. These cancle the walk to the cookie club.)

-- Teaching:Teach them everything, help them learn the inns and outs of how things work. My father had me writing out dictionary definitions when I swore to be sure that I was less likely to swear later and so that I knew the meaning of the word. My mother had us do pushups and situps and laps when we spoke out at bedtime or yelled to wear us out and make us less likely to try it again because each time the number of how many we did increased.

-- Reward Positive Behaviour: Children love to negotiate to get what they want and they will wheel and deal like anyone else if they get a chance so provide options fof them. (example; if they clean their room they can spend 30min playing video games or watch 1 television show. If they help clean the living room they can go outside for an hour ot two or play a game inside. If they help put away the dishes they can pick what snack they get after their meal)

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I really could keep going but you get the idea and my thoughts and actions work for me but may or may not work for others. But from what I've seen there are different methods for each individual and one of the most important rules I have ever seen is simple; Put yourself in their place. We really don't need to punish, we just need to dicipline and keep our children going in the right direction. Spanking didn't work for me or my children so I had to use the alternitives and now my children are often very well behaved. You never know unless you try.

Getting rid of someone is usually not what we are here for but on the lighter side of humour here are a few suggestions and thoughts to consider:

HOW DO YOU KNOW HE/SHE IS ONE TO KEEP:

1. Do they like you for the size of your heart or the size of your wallet? (since this has come up many times in this conversation)

2. Will they still like you when you eat a big bowl of chilie and garlic bread and still want to be held close?

3. Do they get on your nerves and act all clingy 24/7 (327 text messages a day NOT HEALTHY! -__-)

4.(a) Will they still like you in the morning when they discover how many hairs have been left in the sink and that toilet seat has been left up for convienance? (gentlemen)
(b) Will they still like you in the morning when they discover that you've used the bathroom first and you are as gross as they are? (ladies)

5. When you write a list of pro's and con's is the latter a greater number? (this is actually a smart thing to look into ^-^)

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HOW TO GET RID OF A WOMAN/MAN:

1. Introduce them to your family!(Betcha great aunt has a whole ton of slides to share!)

2.Let them know that you demand to be married as soon as the first of Octember and that no other date will suffice!(Dr. Suess book :D look it up if you've not read it -lol-)

3. Let another woman/man into your home and suggest a threesome! (if they agree then daymn! Your luckier than you thought!)

4. Three words "I am gay"

5. Lock your door, change your number, answer the door in another language. :P (-lol- J/K)

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Personally I have very little money, a history of bad men making the good ones look bad without even trying and kids that come along with the package deal. I look for a few things that I hope others do as well. These are my questions and thoughts.

Q: Do you I love you?
A: Kiss me, **** me, treat me right and we'll see how it goes. Each day is it's own and it's one step at a time not just a leap of faith and beleive me no one wants to smash into a brick wall from that jump.

Q: Do you want to change me or for me to change you?
A: No! Accept me for who I am and I will accept you for who you are. Try to change me or ask me to make you change and you can

Q: What can you do to get rid of me?
A: If we are at that point what makes you think that I want to stay?