touche

I think the term 'abuse' has been so broadened as to being difficult to prove or pinpoint. If a person does not feel abused, can they still be abused? How can the claim be made that their partner intended to abuse them if the person themselves did not feel abused? If the victim is not sure they are a victim, how can the victimizer be expected to be certain or even know they are victimizing?

Beyond bruises and scarring, there is little definitive distinction of what will qualify as 'abuse'. That is one thing.

Another thing is that often people allow themselves to become isolated from others to the point where there is no world or support outside of the spouse, making the thought of leaving overwhelming, especially when kids are involved.

Another thing, the double edged sword imho, is that we (rightly) strive culturally to keep our families in tact and together. We strive to work things through and to believe that working things through is a possibility.

And then, there is tremendous pressure and stereotyping. The idea that we as females cannot instigate or abuse ourselves, that we can not push buttons, that a push or even an instinctive slap BACK, constitutes abuse when the person is a male, but is much more lightly viewed, if at all, if the person is a female. There is also the approach of society to divide couples and families into 'victim' and 'victimizer', instead of looking at them as a couple in need of help together. I was young when I got married. We were both young.

He had not yet developed into a man who had mature coping skills. We had a terrible domestic incident one night, under the influence of alcohol, which put me in hospital. Current philosophy would have had people all in my ear swearing he would never stop and would someday kill me. The reality was he went to counseling for a year. We had one of the best years ever in our relationship. And he never laid hands on me again.

We need to leave people room and opportunities to grow and change. That is what life is about. We also need to be able to teach that it is okay to love from a distance, closing that gap more and more as things improve, if they improve.

I am not talking, of course, about spouses that are regularly at hospital, terrified to speak or disagree with or upset their spouse for fear of physical retaliation. I do not consider that merely 'domestic abuse', but domestic terrorism, which is much less likely to evolve into anything good.

I think it comes down to containment and then vaccine, and life will go on. How long that can mix with the entitlement/instant gratification 'capitalist' culture, who knows?

It is a vicious cycle. It ends when people value human life period, whether it has a badge or money or baggy pants. THe PTSD these officers face is tragic. Yet perhaps they should consider that what they feel may be partially what brute tactics has caused the civilians they police to feel as well. They have endured it for a few months, while the citizens in the community have done so for their lifetimes. People do not seem to quite get it until it happens to THEM. It should not take that for humans to value humans, but here we are.

lol. Love you pump....

Again, implies that it is something that happened before. I always ask what 'great' things are we looking to have 'again'.

sheep syndrome and selfishness and greed are problems. There are many problems. Not any one is really THEE problem. Lazy thinking and herd mentality are problems. Communism is a word used to invoke fear, just like capitalism is used to invoke a sense of superiority. People are people. There is no system, communist or capitalist or whatever, that is not ruined by GREED. If we can figure out ways to temper greed and encourage compassion and selflessness, at least with things that are vital and necessary, we may do better as a species in general.

Change is not tied to political party. Political party platforms themselves have evolved and do evolve over the years.

Marching is a significant impetus to other steps leading to change.

I have not seen stats proving 'more shootigs than ever'. THat may be a matter of emotional instead of logical reality.

It is difficult to 'police' your neighborhood from the police.

Affirmative action is not about 'more rights' it is about 'equal rights'.

Yes, Crime should stop happening within or between races. White on white crime is as real as black on black crime. It is all CRIME though. Crime gets prosecuted sometimes and sometimes it does not.

Yes. Those in authority should be held to the high standard to not abuse that authority in ways that end lives.


BOTH THINGS ARE TRUE. Different groups also exist on both these issues. IT is not an either/or.

I really don't know why you don't see white people looting. Perhaps it is tunnel vision. Looting is not race specific or exclusive.

Crime, by definition, involves criminals. Determining who to treat as criminals, or not, should not be determined by their race or their position or job title.

Being a decent person. Living the golden rule.

I agree. I wish issues could be addressed on their own without having it be a competition of 'it could be worse' or 'other people have problems too." There should be enough room for all grievances on their OWN merits.

Igor is one of the people I have great respect for on here.

I have come to already have my conclusions about his heart and intelligence. I am just explaining the reason that such a phrase feels so indifferent and dismissive as a response to black lives matter.

I think Global Warming was changed because at its most basic meaning 'warming' misidentifies the scope of the issue and the change that has many more effects than 'warming'.

All these things are true for ANY individual. However, being allowed to do some things does not forego the need to address other things that are unjust. Police brutality, for instance, is not because police find out how many children someone has, or if they own a business, et cetera. Calls to police and threats about police are not because someone has moved or not, or announced who their role models are if they have them. Even in the instance that they did, this is still not justification for the treatment. That can not be the excuse when people of other races that make the same types of choices are not looked upon and treated similarly.

You say black people have been speaking out. You say a lot has changed. So maybe the two things have to do with each other. There is never a time people need to 'stop speaking about it'.

It is not a competition. Black people are just finally speaking out about where they are placed.

The same reason any person does, to avoid the consequences of the truth.

there are all types of love. Hypothetically, a person without anger control can love a person and still hit them or lash out at them. The issue is what the other person chooses to do to proceed. A person can also love from a distance, and should if they are putting themselves at risk of violence or std's, et cetera.

That is true. If a child were starving and said they wanted something to eat, I would see the negative in the prick who responded, "Everybody wants something to eat."

If someone came to a homeless shelter and said they needed a place to stay, I would see the negative in the prick who responded, "Everybody needs someplace to stay." I would see it as dismissive and uncaring, just like those people who respond to Black Lives Matter, with All Lives Matter.

Some people look at negative things negatively.

Understood. I don't see it that way. I don't see it as a white black thing even. I see it as an incredibly insensitive reply to a concern that is in front of you. Like I said, very similar to telling the one kid at the table without any food on their plate that 'everyone wants food' when they say "i would like some food".
I don't know who would assume the kid meant that everyone didn't want food.

I don't believe religion does or doesn't do. I believe religion is beliefs. And I believe humans choose the actions to take that follows their beliefs.

I also think people hide behind what they want others to think they believe, and people's actions often do not end up bearing fruit, like the husband who brings the wife flowers and candy, but is actually screwing every body and kicking her behind. I don't blame flowers and candy, or the tradition of buying them for a loved one. I realize the responsibility for the act lies with the actor, not flowers and candy, or its tradition.


I believe in love too. I also believe in actions, consequences, and real life.

I'm thinking just getting a vaccine, paying decent wages, and doing more interracial mating should do it...lol.