It can't be that easy can it? Wondering what someone is thinking can be solved by asking them what they're thinking??? lol. I suppose that could be simple, yet effective. Although I'm not quite sure how to bring it up.

Good point, it crossed my mind but we usually split.

Reaching out to strangers via cyberspace for advice isn't typically step one in my problem solving process, but in this case I'm completely stumped.

I recently met a girl through a mutual friend who I've been spending time with for just over a month. And when I say spending time I mean the occasional happy hour, dinner, movies, college basketball games, etc. Casual, of course, but some of those activities seem fairly date specific to me. But we do something usually 3 or 4 nights a week, it's just the two of us probably 70% of the time, and I pick her up, hold the door, etc. Conversation never lags, there's always a lot of laughs, and some VERY mild flirtation.

The problem is this: While the girl gives me butterflies every time I see her and she so distractingly occupies my thoughts all day every day, I just can't get a read on her. Sure, part of what makes women beautiful is their mysterious complexity, but when an unsuspecting boy gets tangled in such a web it can be a bit frustrating for the boy.

She's the one to call me at least half the time, but this is the fifth week and I haven't so much as held her hand. She's perfectly ok with going out to dinner and a movie one-on-one, but there hasn't been a good night kiss.

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I expect her to lay down and let me ravage her. In fact, for the first time as a 20-something that's not my goal. For the first time in a LONG time I genuinely like someone. But holding hands or a kiss on the cheek would signify to me that she's at least interested in being more than pals. If I'm headed in the right direction I don't mind waiting... I just hate to travel any further down the wrong path than I have to.

Is she oblivious to my feelings? Is she so bored that she's just using me for an excuse to get out once in a while? Am I a total wimp for not kissing her already? Is this situation as messed up as I think it is or am I just overly anxious?

Penny for your thoughts...

"Might as well, I'm gonna catch hell when I get home anyway" - haha. Good stuff my man. keep up the good work.

Well if it's a beta and its by itself, check the temperature. I think it should be somewhere around 80? Not sure... Check the size of the pellets, and try changing the water. If too much ammonia builds up it can cause sluggishness and a loss of appetite.

As cute as it may be to personify a fish, it's not quite able to be depressed. What kind of fish is it? Where did you get the water for the new tank? When fish don't eat it's most often a parasitic infection.

24 Atheist. Raised Christian, learned to think independently, studied the evidence extensively from all angles and do not believe in God, not because it's the 'cool' uncool thing to do, but because after examination it's the only logical conclusion. That's my two cents. lol

If it were truely 'divinely inspired' would not its fidelity have been 'divinely preserved' over years of transcription? Surely a God who can create the world by speaking, monitor each and every one of us, read our private thoughts, and alter the laws of physics at his convenience SURELY could invoke something so simple as providence to retain the Good Book's integrity... Right?

This is a God that can do whatever He wants... He can create a 8-10 thousand year old earth, cause floods, cram animals onto an ark built by a 600 year old man that's not even large enough to contain two of every species of insect, flood the world at a rate that would have been equivalent to filling a glass of water with a fire hose, cover the ENTIRE planet with water and leave not one shred of geographical evidence behind.

He's also the same guy who started man by creating two individuals who, among other things, filled the planet with offspring eventually producing 6 recognized races in the world today, all with their own unique genetic fingerprints and characteristics adapted to their geographic point of origin... But he PROVIDED for that. Budding evolution? Of course not! He also created a lenghty fossil record that clearly indicates the evolution of every species on the planet, but that was only to throw off the unfaithful who question His authority. Of course that's not evolution at work. Evolution is a purely evil work of Satan himself which poisons the minds of our youth in science classes across the country.

Certain fundamentalists sit on a pew every Sunday and absorb that like a sponge, believing it completely. If only I had enough bridges to sell to them all...

This is an age of discovery and understanding. Take the ancient cultural influences with a grain of salt and understand that religion is just that... Ancient culture. No more real than bigfoot or the tooth fairy. However, millions and millions of people have never, to my knowledge, been slaughtered in the name of bigfoot or the tooth fairy...

Hey man. Welcome. Pittsburgh here

If I could taste myself I wouldn't be on here.

To be noticed, you must first be noticable and worth noticing. That's not to suggest in any way that you're not. But they would be prerequisites. Adjust your technique. Maybe it is uncomfortable to email these guys. Sure, some of them won't email you back. That's never good for the ego. But none of them will respond if you never reach out...

Also, consider 'Hey, how are you' before hopefully describing your perfect man. Most guys hear the laundry list and head for the hills. Find some common ground to start conversation. These sites facilitate bombardments of emails, and the people you're noticing are being noticed by others. They have to choose the best of the bunch to respond to. Find something interesting to comment about and you're far more likely to get responses. Maybe some will turn into dates, maybe some will turn into friendships. Either way, what have you got to lose?

No problem my man. Best of luck to you!

It's been my experience that if you're at the point where you're considering such super-sleuth activity, the relationship's already flatlined. Before I'd learned to avoid prolonged and painful seperation I'd test the other's fidelity using setups. And I was always disappointed and outraged.

It's just a cold hard truth that when you suspect cheating, either you're right, or you're cheating. Cheaters know what they themselves are capable of and they tend to be paranoid that everyone else is capable of the same. The rest of us have a pretty keen eye for detecting those subtle differences when someone we know intimately is straying. So if you suspect it, save yourself the time, effort, and embarassment of conducting a sting operation. Just pack up and move on.

Well said

That would depend on distance, conflicting schedules, and any other pertinent circumstances. Also, 'too long' is subjective and could only be defined by the person in question. But strictly personal opinion, I feel that if we've labeled it 'dating,' it would be reasonable to expect to see that person at least once a week.

However, some people will maintain just enough contact to hold interest without progressing the relationship so they can keep what they've got on the hook while seeing if they can reel in something bigger and better.

My advice? Analyze the situation and all the specifics involved. Try to figure out A. if it's working for you, and B. if it's working for them. Usually one's 'gut feeling' is pretty accurate. Good luck.

Since its inception.

lol thanks!

As a devout Pastafarian and worshipper of the Flying Spaghetti Monster I would like to urge others to join me in politely insisting that the administrator add 'Pastafarian' to the list of religious afiliations. As the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has many members world wide, I'm sure I'm not the only oppressed pastafarian in this community deprived the privilege of expressing my true religious beliefs.

As our founder, Bobby Henderson, firmly asserted in the letter to the Kansas Board of Education, regarding the inclusion of Intelligent Design in their Science Curriculum, "I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence."

Should we not have the same right here?

www.venganza.org

Jeannie, interesting post. Our perception of reality, based solely on sensory data, is just a model of what we believe to be true. When we have a gap in understanding, we automatically fill in the blanks. (Think optical illusions and how they work) This feature, coupled with ignorance, can create all kinds of fantastic dilusions that can, in many situations, be counter productive, and harmful. (Waco TX, Northern Ireland, Muslim Radicals, etc.)

As our collective knowledge increases through technology and research, we can eliminate more and more gaps, however, tradition and culture seem to have a firm hold on a large majority of the population who insist on believing in their own version of deity when evidence clearly indicates no such thing exists.

Personally, I think you can tell me that the flying spaghetti monster exists, and I wouldn't be able to prove you wrong, but it'd be pretty unreasonable for you to expect the rest of the world to blindly accept your point of view.

lol thanks!