Reaching out to strangers via cyberspace for advice isn't typically step one in my problem solving process, but in this case I'm completely stumped.

I recently met a girl through a mutual friend who I've been spending time with for just over a month. And when I say spending time I mean the occasional happy hour, dinner, movies, college basketball games, etc. Casual, of course, but some of those activities seem fairly date specific to me. But we do something usually 3 or 4 nights a week, it's just the two of us probably 70% of the time, and I pick her up, hold the door, etc. Conversation never lags, there's always a lot of laughs, and some VERY mild flirtation.

The problem is this: While the girl gives me butterflies every time I see her and she so distractingly occupies my thoughts all day every day, I just can't get a read on her. Sure, part of what makes women beautiful is their mysterious complexity, but when an unsuspecting boy gets tangled in such a web it can be a bit frustrating for the boy.

She's the one to call me at least half the time, but this is the fifth week and I haven't so much as held her hand. She's perfectly ok with going out to dinner and a movie one-on-one, but there hasn't been a good night kiss.

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I expect her to lay down and let me ravage her. In fact, for the first time as a 20-something that's not my goal. For the first time in a LONG time I genuinely like someone. But holding hands or a kiss on the cheek would signify to me that she's at least interested in being more than pals. If I'm headed in the right direction I don't mind waiting... I just hate to travel any further down the wrong path than I have to.

Is she oblivious to my feelings? Is she so bored that she's just using me for an excuse to get out once in a while? Am I a total wimp for not kissing her already? Is this situation as messed up as I think it is or am I just overly anxious?

Penny for your thoughts...

Who is paying for all this fun?

Good point, it crossed my mind but we usually split.

youre the "friend"

Perhaps she's waitin for u to make that 1st physical move. Have u tried to give her a good night kiss? Have u tried to hold her hand? Give it a try. That or just come on out with how u feel about her to her.

You need to step up to the plate, big time. Just think of all that you have been missing up to this point.
Man up and go for it.

5 weeks x 5 dates = 25 kissless dates.....Youre the friend!!

She just might be guarded with her feelings. Some people don't do the Sally Field thing and start crying "you like me! you really really like me!" schtick when you show them attention, you know?

Some people have accused me of being the same way- the "ladies" will say that I "don't participate" (whatever the hell that means) or are "not attached". I call it "being incredibly leery" and "seriously cautious" of whatever game they may or may not be pulling on me. And they DO and WILL pull games on you.

Either she's been in one too many bad break-ups to allow her personality to shine through, or she's just not into you. IF the latter's true, then get out of dodge and do your best to forget about her, as you'll only cause yourself more grief if you don't.

It can't be that easy can it? Wondering what someone is thinking can be solved by asking them what they're thinking??? lol. I suppose that could be simple, yet effective. Although I'm not quite sure how to bring it up.

I'd say the only way to find out is to try & kiss her or say to her well we have been going out for awhile now, does this make us a couple

just kiss her
spontaneously
out of the blue
no holds barred
just kiss her

And be prepared for the haymaker.

Or a kick in the nards.

no
i think it'll pleasantly surprise her

not a big ol' slathering tongue kiss

just a nice kiss...a little prolonged ....then sit back and look directly into her eyes..
you'll know at that moment.

I'm sure I'll get some backlash for this but what the heck, I can handle it. Some women are actually shy bout making the 1st move or feel that it's the man's place to do so. Speakin only for myself, I've been known to be shy. I tend to wait for the guy to make the 1st move. I personally prefer the direct approach when a guy is wonderin where he stands. Just come right out and ask me. I suggest you do it in a casual manner while out having dinner or coffee for example. I can understand the fear of rejection however, nothing ventured, nothing gained. I wish you luck.

dude you gotta make the move

women like men who take risks. i don't mean base jumping from buildings. you have to risk the consequences and make a move. whether it be holding her hand or going in for the good night kiss. if you keep waiting, you are definitely going to end up in the friend zone. and we all know what happens then.
she's probably waiting for you to do something.

don't just stand there, busta move.

wise man right there

i wouldn't advise having the feelings discussion
that signifies that you're seeking some sort of validation. be the man of high value. you don't need someone to validate the way you feel. be impulsive and aggressive. women like spontaneity.
but know her boundaries.

What ARE you waiting for? Are you expecting her to make the move. And she's probably waiting for you to define the relationship (lightly said of course) ..

Just DO IT. Easy, no big deal, but do it.

Usually if there is chemistry, this isn't hard to move on. It's like a no-brainer, au naturale ..

So I'm wondering IS there chemistry?

take her to the movies <you have to share the arm rest> you pay , so you feel more comfortable and try to hold her hand there see where it goes from there... myself i prefer the man to make the move lol... but i wouldnt just try to kiss her first lol!!