Community > Posts By > jessed

 
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Thu 10/25/07 01:50 PM
Taking Care of Business...between the sheets

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Thu 10/25/07 01:47 PM
Games People Play between the sheets

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Thu 10/25/07 11:26 AM
Rockin' into the Night... between the sheets

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Wed 10/24/07 10:49 PM
laugh laugh laugh laugh

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Wed 10/24/07 04:31 PM
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court.

In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"

"Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--"

"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"

"Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road--"

"Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine.

Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and told the lawyer so.

"Well," said the farmer, "as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side.

I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move.

However, I could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me.

He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?"


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Wed 10/24/07 12:06 PM
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Wed 10/24/07 12:05 PM
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jessed's photo
Tue 10/23/07 06:24 PM
There was this farmer who had an old rooster named Brewster, and Brewster could mate with any animal, he didn't care which. Every morning the farmer would get up and feed all his animals, and every morning he would warn Brewster that someday it would catch up to the old rooster. Sure enough, one morning the farmer got up to feed the chickens, and there was old Brewster lying face up on the ground with buzzards circling overhead. The farmer sighed and said, "Ah, Brewster, you can't say I didn't warn you."

Brewster opened one eye slowly and said, "Shhh, I think one of 'em's about to land."

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Mon 10/22/07 04:13 PM
laugh laugh laugh

jessed's photo
Mon 10/22/07 03:33 PM


A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.

So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having him for lunch. The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here." Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me." Meanwhile, a monkey, who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.

But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine." Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet ... and, just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says..................

"Where's that darn monkey? Sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."

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Mon 10/22/07 02:04 PM
Hello Danny

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Mon 10/22/07 01:43 PM
OK Ladies

What would you like for Dinner?flowerforyou

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Sun 10/21/07 09:29 PM
laugh laugh laugh laugh

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Sun 10/21/07 11:26 AM
Bar

Hot or Mild

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Sun 10/21/07 01:26 AM
No not funny.

Welcome RockNOut and have fun!

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Sat 10/20/07 12:55 PM
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Sat 10/20/07 12:42 PM
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Fri 10/19/07 09:54 PM
laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh Sound like something I would.

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Fri 10/19/07 06:49 PM
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Thu 10/18/07 07:20 PM
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