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Mon 02/11/19 03:23 PM

After a breakup or divorce. Or loss of job you can sometimes feel as though you have lost your identity... your purpose for being...
.. we often attach are identity..
(Who We Are) . To our relationships are even our career..

I have children I'm a father or a mother. That's my identity that's my purpose

I am somebody's partner somebody's lover.
That gives me an identity that gives me purpose

We do the same thing with jobs..

I'm electrician that's my purpose my identity....

We do this so often that we forget sometimes who we really are...

Especially if you lose any of the above-mentioned job, relationship..kids

You may find yourself wondering who you are!. when you no longer have these things in your life.... who am I ?what's my purpose?
If I'm no longer an electrician or if I'm no longer in a relationship if I'm no longer a mother or father.. it can be disturbing! Earth shatteringa.. to come face-to-face with the reality ..That you no longer Know Who You Are... or your purpose in life is no longer there.... I remember when I first left my marriage.. The first time I went to the grocery store and found myself, buying the same things in bulk that I used to when I was feeding a family of four. even though I no longer needed things in bulk... I found myself missing some of the old routines picking the kids up dropping them off.... running errands together as a couple..
Household chores even.. those things that used to give my life meaning.. gave me an identity or purpose... but now you are faced with reality... that you have to find out who you are what interest you.. what do you like or don't like.... what motivates you... It's A Brave New World.. going it alone.. rediscovering Who You Are... . Finding meaning a purpose your identity... starting over...

. any helpful advice?.. little antidotes?.. have you yourself struggled to find your identity.. and how did you manage..




Hi friend. I agree with you. You may identify yourself with playing a part in these specific roles ie: husband, Father, son, provider etc but they do not necessarily make you who you are. Roles can and do change and you [the real you] should stay the same unless you allow those changes to affect you in a negative way. If you are a kind, loving, honest, empathetic, caring, genuine person, then that is who you are. The only things that have changed is your role and the reponsibilities that came with that role. This can be an exciting time for you to explore your newly found singleness. Find out what you like and don't like. Decide on a new direction/path to take and by all means, take your time when deciding on a special someone in your life.

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Sat 02/09/19 11:41 AM
I try by Macy Gray

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Fri 02/08/19 11:41 AM
Again. Perhaps it's just luck or God's divine providence but I have never come across a penis pic on this forum so far. Also don't go for smilers with missing front teeth. Kinda does not set the bar with me at all. I find that folks who use the term "dear" tend to be youngun's pretending to be mty age but to be honest, in my country, older folks use that term when talking to the younger gen. JM2c

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Thu 02/07/19 10:40 PM
How are you MaryJane?

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Thu 02/07/19 05:11 PM
74F. Humidity 52%, wind 9mph. Sunny with a slight wind. North Island NZ

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Thu 02/07/19 04:14 PM
Thanx behr. :D

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Thu 02/07/19 03:49 PM
LOL! Hi Blondey111. That's funny. I have not come across genitals yet. [knock on wood]
;)

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Thu 02/07/19 03:10 PM
Lol! all good points. Like the one about the "bathroom mirror selfies"

You can also tell when someone has not read your profile when they ask "if you're up for it" and your profile states you are looking for a man of God who is looking for committment in a relationship with the view of marriage. Which I just got a few seconds ago ;)


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Thu 02/07/19 02:39 PM
Okay so you could be right about the smiling thing but for me, a smile is like a light in the window of your soul. Sometimes that darn smile can make you think about that person again ;)

Some profiles state that they are from my country but their pics show otherwise. There is nothing wrong with holiday pics but I tend to shy away from those who say they come from NZ but their pics are taken in foreign countries ~ simply due to scammers.

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Thu 02/07/19 02:21 PM
Hi Lon T. I came across the same thing so have decided to keep with people from my own country. This does not stop the scamming but I am more able to check their story out if they are lvivng in a small country like mine ;)

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Thu 02/07/19 02:17 PM
You just made me LOL!

Pics that look like a Police mugshot, a passport photo or a possum caught in a spot light. No smiling!




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Thu 02/07/19 02:04 PM
The "Nothing written" Is definitely a waste of time. :)

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Thu 02/07/19 01:47 PM
Edited by ... on Thu 02/07/19 01:51 PM
When viewing a profile male or female, what things would make you think twice when looking for a potential partner/relationship or friend?

Here are one or two of my put offs ~

1. They show the top half of their body, naked.
2. They are laying on a bed or couch in a seductive way
3. They are holding an alcoholic drink or cigarette in their hand or are surrounded by
alcohol.
4. Misspelt words.
5. They are clearly lying about their age.
6. They are 30 years your junior and their starting line is "Hey Babe"?

Do you have any pet peeves?