Community > Posts By > Perhaps

 
Perhaps's photo
Sat 02/16/08 08:19 PM


BUT keep ion mind your 21 year old has several things hanging over her head here too. This is her "Baby" sister, sh doesnt want her hurt; you, good ole dad, will "kill" her if baby sister DOES get hurt on her watch (or so she thinks, I can almost garuntee it). PLUS, she IS big sis, and a girl about the same age, so hopefully lil sis will listen and heed her advice.
I suggest you talk with your 21 y/o daughter, and come up with a way to get her to pass on your advice and concerns etc. without letting on that they are yours. You know what I mean?

Good points. I've been talking to the older daughter. She said she was going to have a face to face with her because she had to explain what "horny" means. Man, it's just too young! Damn computers! I was talking to my 12 year old just a little while ago and you know? She still doesn't even know where a baby comes out. She still thinks it's the belly button! Times have changed.

Perhaps's photo
Sat 02/16/08 04:39 PM


I watched a real concerning movie last night on Lifetime. It was about a middle school that had a breakout of syphilis. The main character was a fourteen year old. There's another one on next Thursday evening, same network, called, "Thirteen" that sounds interesting.

My twelve year old just started noticing boys. Ug!! I found a bulletin on her myspace entitled "Horny prep". I'm already having to address the issues with her at 12!


have her set it to private and she wont get those spam bulletins.only her friends can mail her.

It is set to private. My 21 year old daughter got her on myspace. I objected, ex over rode me and my older daughter said she would keep an eye on things. Since when does a 21 year old have parenting skills to look after a pre-teen?

Perhaps's photo
Sat 02/16/08 01:00 PM


I watched a real concerning movie last night on Lifetime. It was about a middle school that had a breakout of syphilis. The main character was a fourteen year old. There's another one on next Thursday evening, same network, called, "Thirteen" that sounds interesting.

My twelve year old just started noticing boys. Ug!! I found a bulletin on her myspace entitled "Horny prep". I'm already having to address the issues with her at 12!


Ohhh, nooo.

I have a friend that has a 14 y/o daughter on MySpace and he doesn't like what's happening on there with her.

He wants her off of MySpace but she lives with her mother and the mother doesn't care.

Same here. Since she allows it I just have to keep pace with my daughter.

Perhaps's photo
Sat 02/16/08 07:19 AM

It seems counter-productive to drive 30 miles for a job that pays me minimum wage. With the fuel economy... I will be spending the majority of my paycheck on just getting myself TO work.

When I was your age, the best job I had was delivering pizza. I brought home no less than $30 and usually $50 per night in cash from tips and gas allowance. Got a paycheck on top of that!

Perhaps's photo
Sat 02/16/08 07:10 AM

I HOPE YOU ARE HUNGRY............
{{PERHAPS}}

I'M GETTING THE BREAKFAST PLATTER WITH ORANGE JUICE flowerforyou

AH HA!!

Okay, I'm hungry again. I like the Sausage egg McMuffin with cheese. Orange juice might do the body good.

Perhaps's photo
Sat 02/16/08 07:07 AM
Edited by Perhaps on Sat 02/16/08 07:12 AM

It seems counter-productive to drive 30 miles for a job that pays me minimum wage. With the fuel economy... I will be spending the majority of my paycheck on just getting myself TO work.

$5 in gas each way in even a vehicle like my Sierra extended cab.
$10 per day in fuel cost.
$48 dollars per day at $6.
Seems like a net of about $30 per day after taxes to me.

Edited because I did the math wrong. I drive 30 miles one way and it costs $5 each way in my truck.

Perhaps's photo
Sat 02/16/08 07:03 AM


diarria?

LOL good answer

I was starting to get hungry, but then....

Perhaps's photo
Sat 02/16/08 07:01 AM



I have told my two kids that they are welcome to stay in my house as long as it takes to get on their feet...BUT they must be actively involved in helping me take care things around the house - ie my son cooks on nights I have to work late, mows the lawn, does dishes, vacuums and so on(He will make a great husband someday - at least I keep telling him that).




Thats really good positive re-enforcement. happy
its true... its hard to find work at this age. I, for one, reside in michigan... worse economy ever. I had a good, fun, steady job... until the owner came in one day and said "surprise! we are no more! we'll mail you your last paycheck"
Its been really rough since. As i mentioned earlier... i even applied to burger king and got turned down. Im pretty sure my self-esteem plummeted to rock bottom that day. Its extremely discouraging... its hard to keep momentum.

I guess you gotta keep telling yourself, "It's not me". Your town is a small town and let's not forget the students at Hope probably keep the businesses supplied with part time help. Maybe if you expand your search area to say 30 miles you might get better luck?

Perhaps's photo
Sat 02/16/08 06:54 AM
Edited by Perhaps on Sat 02/16/08 06:57 AM
Banana flambe with creme de menthe?

Perhaps's photo
Sat 02/16/08 06:52 AM
Hotcakes and sausage?
Iced Cappicino?

Perhaps's photo
Sat 02/16/08 06:42 AM
I watched a real concerning movie last night on Lifetime. It was about a middle school that had a breakout of syphilis. The main character was a fourteen year old. There's another one on next Thursday evening, same network, called, "Thirteen" that sounds interesting.

My twelve year old just started noticing boys. Ug!! I found a bulletin on her myspace entitled "Horny prep". I'm already having to address the issues with her at 12!

Perhaps's photo
Sat 02/16/08 06:32 AM
I think ultimately, my son has a problem with self-esteem. I took him to apply where I work last summer and after the interview, he was really embarrassed about a question he answered. He used a word that wasn't a real word. I forget what it was but he realized after he said it, that it was wrong. He only gets jobs that friends or family hook him up with. He an excellent graphic artist and does some really remarkable things on the computer. Hopefully someday he'll put it to good use. I tell him this but I also tell him he has to work while he's perfecting his skill.

Perhaps's photo
Sat 02/16/08 06:18 AM


Well, the good news is...he got a job yesterday!

I believe the unemployment rate in Michigan is the highest in the nation. It calls for a little more patience on my part and a little more contribution on his.



YAY! That's great news!! Atta boy!

I don't know...maybe it was the note I left him yesterday morning. Coincidence perhaps? Shrug.

Perhaps's photo
Sat 02/16/08 05:18 AM
Well, the good news is...he got a job yesterday!

I believe the unemployment rate in Michigan is the highest in the nation. It calls for a little more patience on my part and a little more contribution on his.

Perhaps's photo
Fri 02/15/08 12:39 PM

sounds like tough love is it working

If you meant "isn't", you're correct. He's just biding his time till his mom gets her own house. She told him he could move in with her.

Perhaps's photo
Fri 02/15/08 12:31 PM


baby steps. alternative school? (is 20 the age limit?) GED?


He got his GED over the summer and was making some progress. He's upset because I let my other son move in and gave him the basement while he's stuck with a room he doesn't like. The difference is my older son is paying his way and taking care of his own affairs and cleaning up after himself. I gave my 21 year old a simple list of expectations that he is refusing to follow until I give him a better room. He's trying to strong arm me. His attitude is, give me the room I want and I'll return the favor.

Perhaps's photo
Fri 02/15/08 12:00 PM

loans grants

Loans - He has to have a job to qualify
Grants - I make too much (and have nothing left BTW)

He quit school after the 9th grade. Mom said it was okay. College might not work for this one just yet.

Perhaps's photo
Fri 02/15/08 11:34 AM

maybe more schooling is needed

No doubt a good idea. No one to pay for it though. grumble

Perhaps's photo
Fri 02/15/08 11:22 AM

I don't quite know... helping around the house was never much of an option. My sister and I always had chores. My parents taught us that just because they are the parents and we are the kids doesn't mean they do all the work and we sit and play. We were a family unit, and we all participated and worked together. In my opinion, especially when you have a child thats over the age of 18... its true that you aren't legally obligated to offer them home and shelter. If one doesn't choose to work outside the home, then one should be willing to pull their weight around the house to makeup for it. Whether or not a child has a job, they should ALWAYS pick up after themselves. I am not familiar with what a family life is like where a mom cleans the kids rooms for them. Its a child's responsibility to take care of their own things. When I was younger, I had a habit of leaving my toys ALL around the house. As I grew up, toys became bobby pins, hair clips and earrings... lol. I just would leave things around in random places, and I lost them all the time. My mom taught me to put things where they belong, and then ill always know where they'll be.

If a kid refuses to put forth a little effort in helping out around the house, I say the parents should cease to put forth an effort to wipe the kid's butt. They dont want to set the table, mow the long or shovel the driveway? Then the parent can boycott laundry and let the kid smell like a dirty gym sock for a week. Us snotty brats tend to learn best when we are embarrassed or a bit uncomfortable. I watched on The View last week, a mother made her son stand by the road holding a sign that said "I was rude to my teacher" and the boy was mortified, cars honked and everything. I bet he wont forget that for the rest of his life.

With your attitude, I have a hard time understanding why you got kicked out. No need to explain, I'm just saying, you sound like a dream compared to what I'm dealing with.

Perhaps's photo
Fri 02/15/08 10:45 AM
Edited by Perhaps on Fri 02/15/08 10:51 AM


Its hard, because my mom was in the hospital ill for a while, and i was selected gopher, to drive in and out of the city to deliver stuff for her, and then i was in charge of all the cooking, laundry, cleaning at home in her absence for my dad. I had very little motivation to put all my efforts into finding a job- i was pretty busy. I read classifies in the paper, went on craistlist, posted my resume online... i applied to about 5 jobs a day. Once my mom was home and getting better, i was just irritated by constant rejection wherever i applied to. (similar to now, even. I thought i would never get a job... i applied to burger king, and i was told that i was over qualified... something about they have to have a certain percentage of minorities, and i just dont fit). Its frustrating.

My dad is very wise... he tells me that finding a job IS a full-time job. You should wake up at 8am, and go out and apply to every single place you can... and keep track of it and call about a week later to remind them of you and to ask for an interview.

With me, personally.. i just hate the rejection. I take it personally and it makes me feel useless and my self esteem plummets. I am thankful i was able to find ANYTHING, because i have cabin fever... i just WANT to get out and do ANYTHING! even if its flipping burgers or wearing a mouse/rat (your interpretation) costume and hug little kids.

Yes, it is hard dealing with rejection. I can remember those days, I hated interviews with a passion. My son is dealing with the same thing. It seems the only jobs he ever gets are ones handed to him by friends. He works a little, then quits or gets fired.

Now, you seem to have done a fair amount of things around the house to help out. I applaud you for that. What do you say to someone your age who refuses to help around the house, even to pick up after himself? I mean, I can deal with tough economics and wait for him to land a job, but in the meantime, shouldn't he contribute something to the home? What do people your age feel about that?