Hello and welcome to Mingle2

A nurse asks a patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown before getting examined by the doctor.
“In front of you?” he asked shyly.
The nurse said, “Don’t worry, I’ve seen plenty of naked bodies before.”
The patient replied, “Not one like mine. You’d die laughing at my naked body.”
“Of course I won’t laugh,” said the nurse to the patient, “I’m a professional. In over twenty years, I’ve never laughed at a patient.”
“Okay then,” said the patient, slowly undressing. First he unbuttoned his shirt, took off his pants, and with a sigh pulled down his underwear. In front of the nurse stood a huge naked male body with the smallest male organ that the nurse had ever seen in her life.
It was almost identical to an AAA battery in length and width.
Unable to control herself, the nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out.
When she realized that she was laughing, she felt very bad for laughing at the patient’s private parts, and composed herself as well as she could.
“I am so sorry,” the nurse said, “I don’t know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse, I promise that it won’t happen again. Now tell me, what seems to be the problem?”
“It’s swollen,” the patient replied.
The nurse ran out of the room.

Hello and welcome to Mingle2

I'll agree with that statement

Hello and welcome to Mingle2

While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.
Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?
As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low-cut blouse with a cleavage to die for.
"I'm okay I think." I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.
She said, "Get in and I'll take you home, so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head."
"That's nice of you," I answered, "But I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
"Oh, come now, I'm a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."
Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."
We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."
Don't be silly!" she said with a smile. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"My guess is that she's still in the ditch."

Beautiful poem

Wow!!!!!

So Beautiful

Hi Tina and welcome to Mingle2

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"

Just landed myself a role in a porn film.

I'm the husband who goes off to work.

This is the night mail crossing the Border,
Bringing the cheque and the postal order,

Letters for the rich, letters for the poor,
The shop at the corner, the girl next door.

Pulling up Beattock, a steady climb:
The gradient's against her, but she's on time.

Past cotton-grass and moorland boulder
Shovelling white steam over her shoulder,

Snorting noisily as she passes
Silent miles of wind-bent grasses.

Birds turn their heads as she approaches,
Stare from bushes at her blank-faced coaches.

Sheep-dogs cannot turn her course;
They slumber on with paws across.

In the farm she passes no one wakes,
But a jug in a bedroom gently shakes.


Dawn freshens, Her climb is done.
Down towards Glasgow she descends,
Towards the steam tugs yelping down a glade of cranes
Towards the fields of apparatus, the furnaces
Set on the dark plain like gigantic chessmen.
All Scotland waits for her:
In dark glens, beside pale-green lochs
Men long for news.


Letters of thanks, letters from banks,
Letters of joy from girl and boy,
Receipted bills and invitations
To inspect new stock or to visit relations,
And applications for situations,
And timid lovers' declarations,
And gossip, gossip from all the nations,
News circumstantial, news financial,
Letters with holiday snaps to enlarge in,
Letters with faces scrawled on the margin,
Letters from uncles, cousins, and aunts,
Letters to Scotland from the South of France,
Letters of condolence to Highlands and Lowlands
Written on paper of every hue,
The pink, the violet, the white and the blue,
The chatty, the catty, the boring, the adoring,
The cold and official and the heart's outpouring,
Clever, stupid, short and long,
The typed and the printed and the spelt all wrong.

Thousands are still asleep,
Dreaming of terrifying monsters
Or of friendly tea beside the band in Cranston's or Crawford's:

Asleep in working Glasgow, asleep in well-set Edinburgh,
Asleep in granite Aberdeen,
They continue their dreams,
But shall wake soon and hope for letters,
And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart,
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?

Good one Sir!!!!!

Hello and welcome to Mingle2

Good reply Sir

You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands.

For instance,if they are wrapped tightly round your throat you know she's upset about something

This morning I asked my son to find me the phone book.
He laughed out loud,called me old and passed me his iphone.

Anyway,the spider is dead and the screen on his phone is very cracked

Hello and welcome to Mingle2

Hello and welcome to Mingle2

Hello and welcome to Mingle2