It’s sometimes very hard to bridge the cultural gap, especially if the man/woman is coming from a different moral standard and up-bringing than you.

I just ended a relationship with a Jamaican Canadian man. His world was completely different than mine. My parents have been married for over 50 years his have never been. His mother raised 4 children on her own while his father thought about having sex. His dad has 7 children with 5 different women!! (Kind of disgusting if you ask me)

All of his siblings are not married, have children with multiple partners and are all dispersed. There is no sense of family connection or value. He himself has had three children with 2 black women.

After that he decided to go after white older women. Was married to one older unattractive white female (probably for financial reasons). It ended due to abuse. Had a short period of sexual flings before getting with another older unattractive white woman (that ended)

Then came me....I was the complete opposite of anyone he dated....young, attractive, fun loving, good moral integrity etc...If I didn’t meet him in church he would have never had the possibility of being with me.

He wasn’t the man I thought. Had secrets. Dragged another woman (who was a 10 Year friend) through our relationship. Not faithful. Not honest...



God wasn’t enough to keep us together.

I believe what the Bible says about divorce.

In Matthew 5:31-32 Jesus says this,

“You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.

Divorce is only acceptable if there has been unfaithfulness in the marriage. Any other issue can be resolved with the right counselling.

Yes

No. Absolutely not. From my experience it has been that ‘He’ has treated me like property. He wanted me all to himself and it took a toll on me.

It was when I decided to take my life back by going online, spending time with close friends and doing things I enjoyed (beach, boating, cruises, dances, skiing etc...etc....) that made me happy but made him insecure. He feared loosing me to another man I guess.

We had very short periods of ‘off again’ (like several weeks not months). For two consecutive summers (2018/2019) he made plans to meet up with an old friend (who he claimed he communicated with re:Christianity from time to time) and did sexual things with her. Even drove an hour out of his way. At least his clothes never came off lol!!! And to think how many times I told him to take me to the beach both summers!!!!

I can understand him having a lapse of judgement once but come on doing it over the course of two summers.....that’s disgusting and shows he had no honour, respect or regard for me.

I confronted him about her last year and he downplayed it. She was just a woman before me (like 10 years before....laughable) I had no knowledge of her and she had no knowledge of me. To add insult to injury she was offended that ‘He wasn’t the Man of God’ she thought. Lol

I would of been happy if he used wisdom and that time away from me to assess his feelings for me and work on relationship building in a healthy way but he didn’t.

When I confronted him with the facts, (the email exchanges were heart wrenching to read) he said it was all talk and meant nothing. To add insult to injury he went on to say that it was my fault for hurting him by making him feel insecure.

I believe it was his (like you said) possessive jealousy that was not very appealing to me and it created cracks in the foundation of our relationship from the very beginning.

I made the mistake of being his wife. I made the mistake of accepting a proposal from a manipulative, controlling, gas lighting narcissist. And to think he had the audacity to tell me that what had transpired with this woman would have come out during marriage counselling is pile of crap!

I don’t want to be married to a psychopath. I am satisfied that the relationship ended at this time because it exposed ‘him’ and his ‘so called’ perfect character. Not only has our relationship ended but it also ended his 10 year friendship with that woman and cathartically halted any future attempt of being with her. (sexual or otherwise)

Isn’t it interesting how I gave this man 100% trust...now I learned to trust no one but God almighty.

He is so desperately trying to win me back by doing things and saying things he never did. In the Bible it says, ‘Love covers a multitude of sins’....where was his covering of me?

Little by little my heart will release him and I want him to do the same with me.

In closure don’t gamble your relationship and love away!

There are definitely many men/woman on this side who are emotionally unavailable. They may be re-bounding and still very much in love with their ex, however are hurting and may register for a dating site to get their ego stroked by another man/woman

For the woman she may just want ‘friendship’ and receiving messages from men stating that she is beautiful and has gorgeous eyes is up lifting to the soul especially if her ex stopped complimenting her.

As a man/woman be very careful you ask the right questions and don’t put yourself into a situation where you are going to be used.

One doesn’t live long in this world before realizing the reality of death and the fact that we all must face it someday. But the Christian has some additional news about this event—and it’s good news (2 Corinthians 5:1-9, especially verse 8)! When we are absent from this body (at death), we are present with the Lord. As believers, our spirits go immediately to be with Jesus.

The physical or natural body will remain in the grave until the return of Jesus at the Rapture when it will be resurrected like Jesus’ glorified body and reunited with its spirit (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18).

The Bible does not in any way support the idea of reincarnation. Hebrews 9:27 tells us, “It is appointed unto men once to die.” If people returned to earth reincarnated, they would have to die again and again.

When you realize that death to believers means being with Jesus until they are reunited with their resurrected bodies, you understand why death truly has no sting and Jesus did indeed destroy the power it had to hurt us. (Read 1 Corinthians 15 for more insight into death and the resurrection of the dead.)

For me it’s the song Touch by Barcelona.

I attached the video link below. The passion between the two says it all...never to be forgotten....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WB8vZXjCPN8&feature=share

I agree with your comment. I mean I was raised in an Italian home with a dad that provided every physical need my sister and I required. He was the example of the type of man I would want...faithful, dedicated, hard working, dependable, a provider one who loved life and made us appreciate all we had. The only draw back with dad was that he didn't really know how to show physical love. So for me I would also want a man who is patient, sweet, kind, long suffering, not easily angered...an emotionally connected man, one I could feel safe with.

That sounds so good. Love being Italian and having all this amazing food to eat!!

I'm thinking about how I can't wait for 2020 to end. It's been one of the most heart breaking years of my life. I am definitely looking forward to putting this year behind me and entering 2021 with a blast!!

For me any form of contact with anyone outside of the bond two people have established as intimate ought to be considered cheating. There is no such thing as 'on a break'. You are either with someone or you aren't. The fact that the two people walked away from each other for an undisclosed amount of time, only to return to the scene of the crime and pick up where you left off, does not excuse the fact that one of you thought so very little about the other's feelings that you used this 'off again' period to have meaningless sex or sexual contact with somebody else just to fill in the gap---in time, between your legs and between your ears!

A lapse of judgement indeed!! Now, you just have to hit the reset button and start over with your significant other. Except that the other is not nearly as significant as they were before the cheating occurred. In fact, I would argue the separation was just an excuse used to indulge in this despicable behaviour, falling back on the excuse of 'well, you weren't around, so I just latched on to the nearest tramp or floozy to satisfy an urge.

This behaviour is disgusting..Period! Clearly, sex or the sexual encounter with this person meant more to you (than taking the time to think how you could be a better partner) or you would never have gone astray without first considering the irreparable ramifications of what you or they have done.

For me it would be the end as the bond of trust was broken.

I am a Christian woman. Four years ago a man who said that Holy Spirit downloaded my name into his Spirit started to court me.

Within a week of meeting he gave me a bible and a perfume gift set and said I was the woman he wanted to marry. From the moment we met there was electrifying chemistry. I believe that we loved each other form the very beginning.

I was just coming out of a very vulnerable place and although I was a Christian I had just been actively attending church about 6 months prior to meeting him. I wasn't really ready for a relationship as I was happy in my single life going out with my friends, travelling, going out to dinners....just happy.

From what is said in the bible and what is preached on the pulpit their is no room for dating in the Christian church because you open the door to lust, fornication and sin. Thus Christian men and woman are faced with a moral dilemma...date or not to date...(without sex) Court or not Court to enter into marriage and be able to sexually consummate the marriage on the wedding night.

I came into a relationship with him thinking that as a good, moral, righteous, up standing man that he would of covered me where sex was concerned. Not even try to have sex. I know it takes two...but I feel the greater responsibility lies on the man as the stronger vessel.

To make a long story short...we stated to have sex from the very beginning and it hasn't stopped. Instead of our relationship being focused on God, the focus was on our carnal desire for each other. That now has left us both in a broken place. The engagement is over. The ring has been given back and now I feel void and empty.

I also know that I am forgiven and that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ but to come to this is sad. I had no trust in men in the world and now I have no trust in men in the church.

Is it at all possible to just stay sexually pure in the Church and date or court?

I have to say it's commendable that you have your child with you and any woman should respect that. From my experience it is generally easier for a man with children to date and start a relationship because 9 times out of 10 the children are with the mom. My most recent relationship which just ended actually is a prime example. Although his kids are older now when his children were younger he never really cared about having his daughters with him. He just jumped from one woman to another and kind of dragged his children from a distance through it. From the onset i knew that he was a very possessive man that wanted all my time. Put a child first and God will send the right woman along your way.