Community > Posts By > gromithere

 
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Wed 12/07/11 07:41 PM



I would say it is all up to you. How long have you been with her..and do you believe she could be the one. If so they you both need to seek out some therapy as a couple. The reason I say both of you...is because you will be a big part of how this will go down. You will need to be able to help her and help yourself with the "tools" that will be discussed in therapy to work through this. People naturally carry around "luggage" from their past. It not always easy to overcome especially if this experience has impacted their whole universe of security. I wish you luck.

This...
Plus quit lookin for online help from strangers.
Get involved in her or get involved in moving on.


I was just thinkin that! I wonder what would happen to her trust issues if she found you hangin on a dating site.


Was hoping to get some input from people who have maybe been in similar situations before (on either side of it) and I am grateful for the insight provided. Been on this site several years ago and de-activated my account...just re-activated it for the forums (hence the 3 or 4 year old pictures. Lol)

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Tue 12/06/11 09:07 AM
Thank you all for the kind words and advice.

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Mon 12/05/11 02:09 PM
Hey there...

Although I'm relatively certain that I know there's likely not much I can do, I was hoping that someone might have some great words of advice for me and my situation. Here it goes...

My girlfriend has always told me that she has always had her "walls up" when she is dating, and that she never quite knew why it was different with me and that she was allowing herself to be open with me from the beginning. She also was very open with me about an abusive marriage several years ago and that that was the reason why she put up her walls in most cases, for fear of being hurt.

Well, a few weeks ago we had a couple of small arguements and she began to say that she saw similarities in the way that me and her ex argued. I guess you'll just have to take me at my word that I am not in any way the type of guy that would be like her ex, and even she does not believe that I could be that way. However, after the arguements she put her walls up and basically seemed to stop being herself around me. She later said that after she saw those comparisons that she just hasn't been able to shake it and that she has a general dis-trust.

Ideally, I would love to be with her because before this we had a wonderful relationship. I guess the million dollar question is if there is anything that can be done to get her to let down those walls and be herself with me again. The only answer I've been able to come up with is "time," but I kind of don't think all the time in the world will help if she's not open to letting me back in.

Thanks in advance for your advice.

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Sat 01/15/11 05:02 PM
Spose... I'm Awesome

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Thu 11/13/08 07:06 AM
Eduardo
Gus
Deutron

LOL I don't think ANY of those really match me.

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Mon 09/29/08 11:58 AM
Stitch

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Sun 09/28/08 10:32 PM




Doing great. Had a nice lazy Sunday. :smile: I'd ask if you had a good weekend, but apparently you had to work, so it couldn't have been THAT great. laugh


Actually it was pretty good. Went out with some friends, got drunk, went to work hung over. Not too bad.


Hungover at work. I did that yesterday. LOL Spent today recovering.


It was nice though. Only thing that sucked was one of the friends I went out with is also my boss, said I couldn't call out 'cause she wouldn't cover. Good thing she got drunker than me.


laugh That's the hazard of going out drinking with your boss I guess.

I run a store in a mall and went out Friday night with friends from there. I would have hated to be a customer at our mall that day, because literally half of the people working there were really cranky. laugh

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Sun 09/28/08 10:24 PM


Doing great. Had a nice lazy Sunday. :smile: I'd ask if you had a good weekend, but apparently you had to work, so it couldn't have been THAT great. laugh


Actually it was pretty good. Went out with some friends, got drunk, went to work hung over. Not too bad.


Hungover at work. I did that yesterday. LOL Spent today recovering.

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Sun 09/28/08 10:08 PM
Doing great. Had a nice lazy Sunday. :smile: I'd ask if you had a good weekend, but apparently you had to work, so it couldn't have been THAT great. laugh

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Sun 09/28/08 09:35 PM
Hello! biggrin How is everyone doing this evening?

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Mon 09/15/08 11:18 AM

Today was the Moon Festival in China. It's a celebration of the middle of Autumn (Chinese lunar calendar). So happy moon day to all. Get out there tonight and moon your neighbors!


I'm actually mooning my co-workers as I type this. laugh

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Mon 09/15/08 09:12 AM
Hello all. biggrin

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Mon 09/08/08 11:00 AM
Hello from the meth capital of California. laugh Working right in the middle of it right now...the county, not the meth. :wink:

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Sun 09/07/08 09:58 PM
You're good. ...as long as you don't do it for TOO long. :tongue:

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Sun 09/07/08 09:56 PM
It's great (assuming I want to also). Takes the pressure off me. LOL

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Sun 09/07/08 09:53 PM
Hello all! I hope everyone had a terrific weekend. biggrin

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Fri 09/05/08 12:57 PM
Working on getting the Vegas skyline on my upper back. Coming soon!

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Thu 09/04/08 11:15 AM
Peel Me a Grape by Diana Krall.

I'm in a mellow mood today. :smile:

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Thu 09/04/08 11:11 AM
Edited by gromithere on Thu 09/04/08 11:12 AM
I checked your age on your profile after I put that, now I feel REALLY bad. embarassed

Let me "re-guess." :wink: 28?

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Thu 09/04/08 11:05 AM
44?

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