Sorry, that is why I said it may have been a bad example in my last post........

I'm not sure what you mean by your last paragraph, it could just be that my mind is a bit sluggish today........

Ooh, those are lots of questions to answer.........lol. Maybe we could just converse in email.

Geesh, no where in my post did I claim that Karma was "a law of physics" but was "a law" and compared to a law of physics in the fact that it just is............but whatever. I also do not use such big words, nor do I have a degree in physics to understand the whole thing.........

I do know, from observation, that the universe does indeed balance itself out. I am not using scientific explanations.

Good vs bad, means very little to me..... More like, if you harm others you harm yourself, that kind of thing.......... You hate others, you hate yourself kinda thing............. So it is probably a Psychological thing..........but thoughts and feelings are no less than rocks and dirt, imo....and may even be more "real".

I wouldn't even call it "karma" except that it is what most people call it, and I wouldn't say it is a force unto itself......so maybe my example was not a good one...........either way.........

I do not believe that what people label as "bad" defines what is truly bad, as I personally believe they are simply what we label them to be.........However, I do believe in energy, and that life is a cycle.........so maybe I don't make sense to you, or anyone else, but it makes sense to me........

Besides, I could care less if anyone believes as I do.

Ok, who classifies these guys as "nice"?? I don't know how many guys I've seen claim to be nice, and really what they should have said is that they were pushovers without a personality who would please a woman by waiting on her hand and foot, but not to expect them to have a unique thought in their head...........(my experience in guys that claim to be "nice guys" and complain about how nobody likes them.........) There is a difference between being a nice person and going through life trying to be nice and getting pizzed because nobody notices.......if what you want is recognition for being "nice" then imo you are not a nice person, but a fraud.......but anyhoo. If you are "nice" then it is who you are, and you don't blame it on why women don't like you.

Anyhoo, to respond to your other comment about "who" keeps track, karma does not mean that there is some "being" or "God" keeping track..........but rather it is like a law. The same as gravity, if you drop something it will fall.......... If "anyone" keeps track it is the soul of the person..........

I believe in karma, what you put out into the world comes back to you..........never say "I'll never" because you will certainly do it, lol......... It is more of a "balance" thing to me, and not about some cosmic "being".

With someone you trust explicitly, and who knows how to take care of babies.........whenever you are comfortable. Just be careful to not make it an "all the time" thing to avoid being a parent..........which I'm sure you are not. (Sorry, had to add that due to experience with relatives who leave their kids with their parents more than they take care of them...........)

Thx for sharing, I'm looking to get back into the workout routine, and it was an entertaining reminder.........

I'm willing to share.

life

I'd like to think that I'd be greeted by someone when the time comes, but as far as people who are still here..........Once you get to that point, you are "alone" anyway.

We'd have a talk about why, what need the pot seems to fill, and then discuss that there are other alternatives that are not unhealthy for your body. We will also make sure it is known that there is to be no drugs in my home, or our vehicles EVER. I don't want my other children, or myself put in jail because my sixteen year old has a stash of marijuana on her and and tosses it when we get pulled over for a tail light out while we are riding in it.

Even if you go for the argument that it should be legalized, the thin is that it isn't at this time, and can have some consequences if you are caught with it. Is it really worth having a criminal record?

I don't know what else I could do. You can't really control everything your kid does as a teenager, all you can do is equip them with an education, make sure they are aware of possible consequences including health ones............and possibly deal out consequences when they, say smoke it in their bedroom and you catch them.

so does mine, lol...........but I don't feel like emailing today

There are simply some people who use the whole world as their sh*%$ing pot, why would a forum on the internet be any different.

Obviously these women have issues, and are still carrying hurt, either that or they just get a kick out of bashing men.

The thing is, either you could send an email and get to know them personally. (As I'm not sure why so many people think that what people post in a public forum is a clear indication of the totality of a person) Doing this you may make a friend, or you may realize they are bitter and allow them to be so. The only way for them to lose that is to allow themselves to realize their part in the problem, and to have "men" show them that not ALL men are the same......not that it is your responsibility.

Anyhoo, men do it too, yes. WE are all human. Some people may use this forum simply as a venting place where they go to say what no one in their REAL life wants to listen to.

Anyhoo, not all women are that way, and yes it doesn't make sense to be on a dating site looking for dates when all you do is bash men.........but maybe you're here hoping beyond hope to find one that proves you wrong??

I have no expectations, except the hope that I have raised them to be happy, loving, and responsible adults.

I hope they will be a constant part of my life, and that we will be a close family, but I don't expect or demand it.

I understand that they will be "on their own".

A call now and then, a visit every once in a while, and well.........when grand kids come around I hope to be a major part of helping them raise them.

For me, I expect to get out and do all the things I chose to wait on because of my responsibilities. I want to volunteer for something like the Peace Corps. Finish my doctorate (of which I am only like 1/6 of the way there........)

I eat healthier, changed to whole grains, skim milk, more fruits and vegetables...........for me, and my kids. Cut out most sugars (we sometimes have treats), no pop, no chips, no lunchmeats or hot dogs................

Whew, I changed a lot when it comes to our diet. WON"T let them go to McDonald's anymore, even though my mom sent them money for Christmas and they wanted to go out to eat with it, so we told them since it was their money they could pick whatever they wanted...........and guess what? McDonald's.........so we said, next time McDonald's is out, lol.

I don't think it has anything to do with being "nice".

I'm dating a guy who terms himself a "nice" guy, he opens doors, even for strangers, always asks me what I want to do, listens to me when I speak, etc. He is a nice guy,

BUT

He also sometimes has NO personality of his own. He's so busy trying to please everyone else, I'm assuming because he feels he must for them to love him (we're working on this) and he loses himself in the process.

I think guys who think they're "nice" use this excuse, and women have no clue what they want.

Here's my list:

Leader, someone who can tell me what he wants, someone who will take what I want and then cooperate with me on a decision if we differ. Not someone who always ask, "What do you want to do." That isn't nice it's pure laziness and being afraid to disappoint. That is a turn off.

Kind to others, I don't care who they are, if u are downright rude to a stranger on the street for no reason, it is a turn off for me, but I know some women would care less since it isn't them your treating that way.

Anyhoo, this list is long, so my point is that anyone can label themselves a "nice guy" and make that the reason for all their romantical woes, but really it has nothing to do with being nice. You can still be nice and assert yourself. Nice doesn't mean being a doormat. No, women will (for the most part) never respect a man who is a doormat, and without intending to will walk all over him. Is it because she is a B%^&*, nope it is because he lets her.

I had to tell my BF, don't ever, EVER do anything for me because you are seeking a specific response from me. You do it because you want to, because you may not get what you want. You saying, "I love you" should be because you feel it and want to say it, and not because you want me to boost your ego by saying it back.

Anyhoo, being "nice" has nothing to do with it. I won't date a man who is not nice.

But, assertiveness, confidence, self-respect, and having their own personality is what draws women's attention. The problem is that other things can mask those, like aggressiveness, arrogance, and self absorbed...............It is when women get the traits confused because at first they are very similar it isnt' until you get into the relationship that you see them for what they are............but by that time women are usually "attached" and "feel" that they are in love.........and for some women they can't leave as long as those feelings are there.

Actually depression, and acute attacks of it, are not LIFELONG illnesses. Many people will suffer major depression from a month to several months, to years, but then never have an "attack" again.

Depression is not the same as say..........bi-polar, or schizo.

(just thought I'd clear that up)

As far as the above post, I totally agree!!!!

Scolding a child for pottying in their pants, is strict/harsh, but it isn't abuse, unless he was calling her names and hitting her. If she is potty trained/and or you are working on it, then some parents consider "scolding" to be perfectly normal, but only you know what happened, but this seems to be a difference in parenting styles. You would not have "scolded" (if that is all he did) but he did, and you don't like it......so it seems you need to re-evaluate how you want to raise your kids. Even if you split, unless for some reason he doesn't want anything to do with them, or you get sole custody and he doesn't ever get them.........he will still be in their lives and parenting "his way", so either it is something you can accept, or it is abuse (calling names, downgrading, hitting and leaving marks).

Did he not want to dance WITH YOU, or dance at all?? I mean, there is a difference which is why I am asking. (not that you have to answer, you can just ask yourself.)

Trust me, I know it hurts when your spouse is not interested in you anymore (so it seems). Either you are willing to work on it, and he is, or NOT. That is what you need to know from him.

Tell him you miss him, without blaming him. Tell him the things you miss doing WITH him, without blaming. You have to talk to him without attacking or making it "his fault" otherwise he will just push you further away.

If he doesn't want to change things, and isn't willing to work and do what it takes (note: if he wants to he will work at it, don't take a "yes" with no action behind it to mean much or anything) then go ahead, separate. Maybe a separation will help him see that you are serious. See how the separation goes. If he starts seeking counseling. You seek counseling for you and your kiddos. If still nothing, then you decide if you want to divorce.

I left mine three years ago. It has been hard on the kids, but he was physically and verbally abusive, and he I was at times as well.

I agree when the bad outweighs the good there is time for change, but most of that change has to come from you. You can ask someone (husband, partner, whatever) to work with you for that change, but you can't make them...........but you can still change yourself.

You may "miss" things, but you don't need them right now. Right now, I would suggest (note just my opinion) that you figure out if you are going to stay, if you separate, don't date until you are divorced (meaning, if you want to see how the separation goes don't date, once you know you want a divorce still wait until it goes through). I'm not saying you have to, I didn't and am still legally married, I am saying based on hindsight. Besides if you do, he can if he chooses use that against you in custody battles, depending on the judge.

DO, go out, have fun, establish your house with your kids. Learn more about who you are (trust me it is much different once you've been married, you realize sometimes that you lost "you" along the way). Do things you like, and don't worry about him.

Make sure you don't speak badly of him in front of your kids.....and just take one day at a time.

If you want to chat/talk send me an email. If not, best of luck to you!

I'm just curious if most of you are missing that her HUSBAND is suffering from depression. That she has not tried to communicate with him in a while, and that he is on meds (meds can screw you up) and that this has only been going on a year??? An eight year marriage versus one year of hard times because he now has a mental illness??

Don't get me wrong, no sex, is hard, but it happens when you get married. You hopefully didn't get married to have sex, and you can always take care of business. And Depression meds take away all sex drive, and even the ability to be stimulated (KNOW)

Does he beat you, demean you, beat and abuse your children? Is he cheating on you? Is he supporting his family and seeking help and doing what he can??

If the so, then I find, "just leave him" as a rather harsh and cold response, and shows why so many people are single. There WILL be times when you are not happy, it is when there is no reason for it, as in you are working and the other person refuses to work on it, where you are being mistreated and the person doesn't care to address the issue or seek help, or if he is cheating on you.

Of course you can't drag him through life for long, but a year is not that long, and it was mentioned that HE WAS very supportive of her when she started having issues with her thyroid. (Oh BOY, that is depression, irritibility, and loads of other stuff)

Her husband may just be overwhelmed and incapable of dealing right now............her position as his WIFE is to try to help him out of this hump. TO be there for him. To love him.......and if then all things fail, if he drags you down, and begins abusing you and your kids, or doesn't take care of his responsibilities..........then I'd start thinking of leaving.

But, yes, if you need help getting out, there are agencies and help out there.

I don't believe it is human nature to be greedy, or hateful, or any such thing. Otherwise every human would be so, and not everyone is.

Sometimes saying out of the blue, "Oh yeah, that reminds me I need to talk to your mother about something."