I lived a pretty careless life growing up oh, I was drinking and smoking at the age of 12 and by the time I was 14 15 I was into hard drugs. Lost my father when I was four my mother did her best oh, I did have stepdad for 9 years and I would have resentments toward him for the way he raised us for most of my life. Went to prison in 2009 on a 3– 6 did 3 years came home found love with somebody. 3 years later we had a child oh, my first child I was 40 years old and when he was born my whole life changed. I started caring about life my health I want to stop drinking and doing drugs I vowed to get clean and sober. Unfortunately my son's mother wasn't on board with that she wants to continue to party so we split when my son was 16 months old and I've been raising them on my own for The Last 5 Years. I have spent the last five years getting my life together getting clean and sober putting down solid roots in recovery. Got my license back after 13 years I have a few years clean and sober now and I I am a certified recovery Peter Advocate/ recovery coach I also work a part-time job at McDonald's. The Last 5 Years of my life have been a lonely Journey but I wouldn't change it for anything. 5 years getting my life together building bonds memories with my son, I enjoy being a single parent yes it's lonely but I don't mind raising my son as a single father. I know that my son asks me all the time about his mother so he's seen about a handful of times in the last 5 years. He always says to me mommy loves me and she's going to come see me soon, it breaks my heart and I am fearful I'm getting back in another relationship for now I have him 2 think about. I don't want another woman role model/mother figure breaking his heart walking out on us. I just know that my next relationship I get in I wanted to be the last. I need to find me a good Christian woman who will love me for me and love my son as her own. Anyone out there knows anybody like that son of my way thanks for listening.