Not if you're related to each other.
You never said you were in love with each other.

If superpowers existed, I think that one would be bad.
Where you just point to someone and say "you!...Bored," and they all of a sudden felt all bored. It's easily remedied.

I'd go for something more esoteric if I had a choice.
Like "you! ...crap waffles and bacon!"
Or "you! ...snap every exposed thong on every guy in late night wal mart!"
Or "you! ...have a pleasant day, but not too pleasant."

Depends on what type of "love" you mean.
If you're referring to the biological process of pair bonded romantic love, then kinda sort of.
It's a process. You can develop along the process a couple people at the same time.
Most people don't really understand the process they're going through, only its emotional effects. They then translate that through their biased personality/ identity.
The ultimate purpose of the pair bonded biological process of love is procreation. Eventually it's going to cause pair bonding to one.

Otherwise what most people do is compartmentalize, relegate, rationalize, and delude themselves they "love" more than 1.
Sometimes they love neither, only themselves, they only want the benefit of the relationship(s), so they manipulate their own emotions to make themselves feel they are in love (or simply label their emotions as love, and then choose behavior they think validates the idea they want to be true), then use that to manipulate the other(s) to stick around.

Mostly they "love" (in some manner) one person, but don't want to lose the (emotional/mental/physical/social) benefits of the relationship with another.
So they make it (the relegated to lesser status in reality) out to be more than it is in order to motivate to keep it going.


The negative consequences of "loving more than one person at a time" is that to the 1 person who "loves" the other none of the relationships will last without the others, a problem or change in one relationship will affect the other.
Relationships aren't absolutely static where you get a popup that explains everything and get an obvious warning or option to fix it handed to you before small changes/problems become major and you can quarantine one from affecting anything while you "fix it."

A small change in one, leads to a big change in another, which then reflects even greater change back. It "resonates" due to the stress of juggling.

There's a reason why people set up "harems," or "just friends."
Shallow relationships, people niched into what they provide.
Side chicks, gamer chick, handyman, bug killer, drinking buddies, forum pals.

From a biological objective standpoint, you can't develop the same depth of (romantic) "love" for more than one person.

From a subjective personal standpoint you can delude yourself into believing you are unique and special and better than everyone in that you can "love" more than one person, and then choose behavior that you identify as showing/proving "love," for a short while or in spurts. The more shallow that relationship is, the longer you can keep it going.

Due to government intervention, the cost of a waaaahmbulance has become prohibitive.
So now they usually go to the internet.
...They use waaaah-fi.

Yes.
You know why? Because of me.
If you are looking for true love, I can tell you I don't have it. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let it go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will follow you around and steal all the chicks you like.

IMO this is like asking "who finds movies funny?"

Other than that I find other people having sex funny. The more serious they take it, the funnier I find it.


Sure.


Depends, are they charging me extra for it?

Hindsight.

Endure? Cope? Take responsibility? Ask for help? Communicate? Run away?

Kinda depends on what's going on.

I mean there's a huge difference between:
*knock *knock "I'm detective Murphy, you're under arrest for a hit and run from 10 years ago."

vs.

"Hi, remember me from that drunken night in college? Yeah...here's your son. He's 18 now and wants past child support now to pay for college."

vs.

My ex from 2 years ago, after a 10 year relationship, just messaged me on a dating site.

vs.

whoa. my current g/f just did something that reminds me of what an ex did and now I can't get my ex out of my head and I feel my current relationship is now going to follow the same downward path as I'm starting to notice and in hindsight realize a lot of similar personality traits.

Depends on the situation, what's being asked, what's necessary, time requirements, potential conflicts, how much I'm being paid, many many things.


Sure. Why wouldn't it? Leader does not necessarily mean megalomaniac.


1. They both would.
1a. Passive aggressively.
2. Neither, they'd just react to circumstances.
3. They'd seek external direction to tell them what to do (religion, cultural icons, movies, tradition).

Love isn't some mystical creature that lives outside of people.
Love is based on people. It comes from people. From within them. It's smaller than people.
People have boundaries.


Sometimes it's a test to see who's not going to call them idiots and are willing to see beyond the facade they're presenting.

Romantic pair bonded love?
No, since you used the word "thrive."

But I don't think "love" is this single, solitary, absolute emotion that's either there or not. One type of love can turn into another type, based on the needs of the "relationship" between the two people.


I don't know what you mean by "fire."
I'm assuming something like "passion."
I would say no, not really.
I don't think you can keep the passion in a relationship "burning" with a lack of sex.

IMO it's "wrong" if you aren't cognizant of the potential consequences to having a ONS. Pregnancy, STDs, being robbed, angry spouses. And are simply focused on the "fun."
It's "wrong," IMO, if you go about having a ONS in a "wrong" way, e.g. lying about wanting a relationship, drugging them, manipulation.

Otherwise, it's not correct or wrong. It's just something you choose to do.
It's not something that's going to enrich your life, make you a better person, and you don't really learn anything valuable or meaningful from it.
It's basically genital stimulation for stress/emotional relief, done by another person, acting as a validating masturbator.
Whatever else you tell yourself is rationalizing and/or delusion.

Might as well ask "is flipping around a fidgeter while sitting on the bus correct or wrong?"

Have you ever seen what jail/prison does to people? Changes them? To the people in and out of jail?
No one has ever gone to law school, cop training, or jail/prison, and become a better person from it.

No. If love were a crime, I would not go to jail for love.


Even change your personality to be someone that wouldn't do whatever it takes?

Sure.
Why not.
That's why dogs exist.
Get all the love you want.

I hope so.
Cuz I'd love to win the powerball jackpot.

I know exactly what you're talking about.
After that first special night together exploring each others bodies, when you come by after work, candles are lit, music softly playing, you don't say a word just longingly search for her eyes, and she shyly plays keep away with her gaze. You see the way she smiles, and you're all "I know...I know you found that ten piece I hid under your left folds...but I don't think you found the dippin' sauce."
She invites you to a meticulous search. And as her cheeks turn like tomatoes, looking so cute, you find your favorite sandwich, and you know you're in love.

The 2nd most popular stalker manifesto title.
1st being "How to get her to see me as more than the nice guy friend while she dates a-holes."


I sat around wallowing in self pity ultimately driven by a lack of understanding why I had to actually do anything and try and why I wasn't entitled to what I felt I wanted since I really felt I wanted it, proven by how much I felt, coming up with all kinds of rationalizations about why I couldn't try, and then used passive aggressive emotional, or humorous, or intellectual expression trying to manipulate a situation.

Then I baked her some brownies, drew a heart on them in frosting, offered them to her in class and asked her to the 7th grade dance, got made fun for a while, then moved on.
Really helped me grow the f up.

Maybe give it more time.
They might restock "real lady" soon.

Because of human nature.

Type in "types of love" in google.

You'll get 4 types, 7 types, 9 types from the Romans (which is one of my favorites), etc.
Then go to google and look up the biological process of love.
And pair bonding.

"Love" is the easiest thing in the world...there's a lot out there.
If you don't really know anything about it, or even if you do, there's a natural tendency to try and shove, or cherry pick, as much from all into one valuedation meal, or lottery ticket, and if you don't get it when you want it how you want it from whom you demand, then it must be some kind of evil or hardship and the universe hates you and it's all so hard.


Only if you expect too much.

Doesn't matter all that much.

"My girlfriend , now my ex,"
You made your choice.

If everyone tells you that you did the "wrong" thing, do you believe you can erase everything and go back to "what it was?"

Do you want to try?

If everyone tells you that you did the "right" thing, what are you going to do?
Immediately forget about your ex? Email her with a link to this forum and say "neener neener I was right!!"

More meaningful question is going to be if you're in a similar situation...are you going to make this same choice?

Let's say the next girl you date is living as a renter in her ex husbands basement, you going to keep dating her?

Or she has a guy "just friend" she's always hanging out with and talking to you about, how fun he is, how wonderful or whatever he is, what problems he is having. Are you going to keep dating her?

If you're in this same situation again, what are you going to do.