we must have the same mirror, that's all mine shows me too.



. . .

it's like playing a trump card. once one person does it, it's open for everybody.


. . .

people keep telling me this but it doesn't sink in. it's not that i dismiss it entirely, it just doesn't get through to the part of the brain that controls behavior.


. . .

sounds like the entitlement thing i was talking about.
i hold the door all the time. women, men, kids, whoever. it's just polite.



. . .

i'm not a lady, but i'll say welcome anyway.


. . .

it's all me. the majority of my self worth is tied up in my appearance, which is nowhere near where i'd like it to be. no matter how many people tell me that i'm not as bad as i think i am, it really is only my opinion that counts in that circumstance.
because of that, i don't approach any women because i have preconceived notions on what their responses would be. so, i guess there is a little behavioral expectation, but it's not that i want them to react a certain way and they won't, it's that i expect them to react a certain way and it's likely they will.


. . .

i only eat the light butter popcorn. and having protein before bed is okay, your body needs it for recovery.


. . .

i don't expect all women to treat me the way the previous ones have. i know that each was her own unique woman. i've gotten past the bitterness. the only thing stopping me now is me. and i'm a huge obstacle.


. . .

it's only like this because a dog doesn't know how to find someone else to see to his needs.


. . .

it's another "dating" site


. . .

not according to adult friend finder.

lol



. . .

actually, i know what many of my personal hang-ups are. change however, is very difficult. especially, behavioral and perceptional.


. . .

that could be another problem i have, no role models to learn from.


. . .

might be a different movie you're thinking of.
the one i'm talking about had jon favreau and vince vaughn.


. . .

i'm not a complete prick, i just play one on the internet.


. . .

a perfect example of some of the game playing can be found in the movie "swingers"


. . .

i did say some women. i know not all women are like that.
i'm not one for playing games, which is one more of the reasons that i'm alone.
while i do know how to play the games, i refuse to. maybe things are different on the coast from the way they are here. i just know that here, if a man expresses too much interest too quickly, he's likely to be shot down.


. . .

this is in no way aimed at you, but it's this sort of thinking that leads to the games to begin with.

some people think so highly of themselves that the only way to get their attention is to knock them off their pedestal. and unfortunately, the only way to do that is to treat them like they aren't the ones worthy of the attention.

it's nasty, deceitful, trickery, and i abhor the behavior, but it seems to be the only way to "wake up" some people.

people are people and nothing but a person's actions make them better than any other person. somewhere along the lines however, people have started believing that their looks or their money automatically define them as better than those without looks or money. those are some of he people that the game works especially well on.

another problem is that we are taught through our failures that if we are too open, honest, or direct with our approach that we will likely be shot down. i've heard it on this site within the past two days "nobody wants something that comes to easily for them." maybe that's not an exact quote, but it's close enough and the meaning was the same. people are being taught to "play hard to get" or "make him work for it". these are stupid childish games that are continually being played because as children we played them and learned reactionary behavior from them. if a man approaches a woman directly and is just being himself, he's too easy and therefore boring, or not good enough. maybe he's just a nice, confident guy who goes after what he wants.

if we don't like the games that people play, we should stop teaching our children to play those games. otherwise, they will learn the same reactionary behaviors that we have learned and the dating world will continue down this same road it's on.


. . .

i've been put off because there seems to be a lot of direct attacks going on lately and they seem to be going unnoticed/dismissed by the mod's. some of them have been aimed in my direction. i know that sometimes i can come off as cavalier, but i very rarely directly attack somebody.


this was IMO a slam. maybe not a "yo mama" joke slam, but...well whatever. i'm not a mod, what do i know?


i thought the first 2 rules/guidelines were solid suggestions.



. . .

okay, i have to clarify that i didn't mean that there were a lot of attacks in this thread, nor did i mean to insinuate that there were any attacks in this tread aimed at me.
i meant that in the forums there have been a lot of attacks....
etc. etc. etc.


. . .

you'd be surprised at how well those things can work. some women are used to being catered to. and when a guy comes along and he acts the same as all of the others, they just dismiss him as not worthy. when a guy comes along and treats them differently they suddenly wonder why.

it's all part of the game.


. . .