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Topic: need some advise
grostad's photo
Sat 06/19/10 08:57 PM
So you finally get a number and you're all really excited and just want to talk or text forever. How do you find a way to not come off too strong and still show that you're interested? how do you tell when you're scaring her off?

FearandLoathing's photo
Sat 06/19/10 08:59 PM

So you finally get a number and you're all really excited and just want to talk or text forever. How do you find a way to not come off too strong and still show that you're interested? how do you tell when you're scaring her off?


General rule of thumb: Don't do anything when you are drunk. Aside from that, text away, call when she is available and feels like speaking to you...just don't tell her about the bodies in the stoop.

willy_cents's photo
Sat 06/19/10 09:22 PM
don't mention recent sex change operations...that really scare her offpitchfork

grostad's photo
Sat 06/19/10 09:26 PM

don't mention recent sex change operations...that really scare her offpitchfork

what about future ones, can I mention those?

MelodyGirl's photo
Sat 06/19/10 09:28 PM
Edited by MelodyGirl on Sat 06/19/10 09:29 PM
IMHO texting is rude. The art of conversation is lost if all you do is text. I personally drop a guy if he insists on texting rather than calling or actually dating me.

That being said, get a sense for how she is responding to you. Pick on her hints if she has a life and needs to get on with her day.

Don’t be sexual; that is a huge turn-off. Besides, if she engages you sexually how will you know she isn’t do that to 5 other guys too?

Use proper dating etiquette and manners. You will be fine! Court her and use a little romance (don't be sappy though). flowerforyou

Remember, how can she miss you if you won't go away! winking

MarsNeverSleeps's photo
Sat 06/19/10 09:29 PM
Rule #1: Don't text or call until two days after you get the number.
Rule #2: Start slow. If you text her and she replies, or if she texts you, wait 15 minutes or so before responding.
Rule #3: Make sure *you're* the one who ends the conversation.

MelodyGirl's photo
Sat 06/19/10 09:31 PM

Rule #1: Don't text or call until two days after you get the number.
Rule #2: Start slow. If you text her and she replies, or if she texts you, wait 15 minutes or so before responding.
Rule #3: Make sure *you're* the one who ends the conversation.


laugh

Rule #4: don't use rules or you will lose out for sure. slaphead

Seriously, don't follow these types of rules. Go with your heart and treat her like an individual - not a page in a manual.

How will she feel special if you treat her so perfunctory?

Goofball73's photo
Sat 06/19/10 09:36 PM

So you finally get a number and you're all really excited and just want to talk or text forever. How do you find a way to not come off too strong and still show that you're interested? how do you tell when you're scaring her off?


If you already inquired about anal with her.......you blew it!

MelodyGirl's photo
Sat 06/19/10 09:36 PM


So you finally get a number and you're all really excited and just want to talk or text forever. How do you find a way to not come off too strong and still show that you're interested? how do you tell when you're scaring her off?


If you already inquired about anal with her.......you blew it!


rofl rofl

no photo
Sat 06/19/10 09:42 PM


don't mention recent sex change operations...that really scare her offpitchfork

what about future ones, can I mention those?
i wouldn't advise u do

wait till u absolutely have to - like when u need panyhose and she's along with u

MarsNeverSleeps's photo
Sat 06/19/10 09:43 PM


Rule #1: Don't text or call until two days after you get the number.
Rule #2: Start slow. If you text her and she replies, or if she texts you, wait 15 minutes or so before responding.
Rule #3: Make sure *you're* the one who ends the conversation.


laugh

Rule #4: don't use rules or you will lose out for sure. slaphead

Seriously, don't follow these types of rules. Go with your heart and treat her like an individual - not a page in a manual.

How will she feel special if you treat her so perfunctory?




Well, I was going to write a big long response, but my browser keeps crashing. So I'll just say this: these are more like guidelines than actual rules. They come in handy for me when I don't know someone well enough to "treat her like an individual," or when I just don't know what to do.

no photo
Sat 06/19/10 09:48 PM



Rule #1: Don't text or call until two days after you get the number.
Rule #2: Start slow. If you text her and she replies, or if she texts you, wait 15 minutes or so before responding.
Rule #3: Make sure *you're* the one who ends the conversation.


laugh

Rule #4: don't use rules or you will lose out for sure. slaphead

Seriously, don't follow these types of rules. Go with your heart and treat her like an individual - not a page in a manual.

How will she feel special if you treat her so perfunctory?




Well, I was going to write a big long response, but my browser keeps crashing. So I'll just say this: these are more like guidelines than actual rules. They come in handy for me when I don't know someone well enough to "treat her like an individual," or when I just don't know what to do.


If you can't treat her like an individual, you probably should not be contacting her at all.

Those kind of rules and are going to cause her to move onto someone else without silly rules.

Goofball73's photo
Sat 06/19/10 09:50 PM
Dude. I know this is "cliche", but how about just "being yourself"? If you like her and you want to progress farther than just what you have now, then you just have to say it.

eileena9's photo
Sat 06/19/10 09:50 PM
Want to know what worked for me? When Jon gave me his number first and asked me to block my number until I was comfortable with speaking to him before I gave him mine.

Then when I got comfortable with that...that's when he told me about his sexchange.....noway ...J/K!!!

Fade2Black's photo
Sat 06/19/10 09:52 PM

IMHO texting is rude. The art of conversation is lost if all you do is text. I personally drop a guy if he insists on texting rather than calling or actually dating me.

That being said, get a sense for how she is responding to you. Pick on her hints if she has a life and needs to get on with her day.

Don’t be sexual; that is a huge turn-off. Besides, if she engages you sexually how will you know she isn’t do that to 5 other guys too?

Use proper dating etiquette and manners. You will be fine! Court her and use a little romance (don't be sappy though). flowerforyou

Remember, how can she miss you if you won't go away! winking


I agree about not being sexual. EXTREME turnoff. And the wondering if she's engaging you can go both ways.

BUT .. I LOVE texting. I don't think it's rude at all. I actually like it better than calling because I can do that while with my children, which of course Melody doesn't have the challenge of :wink:

DACRAZEDCAMARO's photo
Sat 06/19/10 09:55 PM

So you finally get a number and you're all really excited and just want to talk or text forever. How do you find a way to not come off too strong and still show that you're interested? how do you tell when you're scaring her off?


By just saying Hi..

Fade2Black's photo
Sat 06/19/10 09:59 PM


IMHO texting is rude. The art of conversation is lost if all you do is text. I personally drop a guy if he insists on texting rather than calling or actually dating me.

That being said, get a sense for how she is responding to you. Pick on her hints if she has a life and needs to get on with her day.

Don’t be sexual; that is a huge turn-off. Besides, if she engages you sexually how will you know she isn’t do that to 5 other guys too?

Use proper dating etiquette and manners. You will be fine! Court her and use a little romance (don't be sappy though). flowerforyou

Remember, how can she miss you if you won't go away! winking


I agree about not being sexual. EXTREME turnoff. And the wondering if she's engaging you can go both ways.

BUT .. I LOVE texting. I don't think it's rude at all. I actually like it better than calling because I can do that while with my children, which of course Melody doesn't have the challenge of :wink:



Oh ya, and to agree again here .. I have a lot of problems with guys not realizing being a single mom takes a LOT of my time. I don't sit and chit chat when I've got kids around. So being sensitive to my time limits .. yes I not only HAVE a life, it's VERY busy .. well, they are either getting points by being sensitive to that, or burning a bridge. Very quickly I might add. :tongue:

74Drew's photo
Sat 06/19/10 10:02 PM
why would you ask for advice from a bunch of single people on a dating site? if any of us had a notion on how to properly approach the opposite sex we wouldn't all be single would we?
do you know any happily married people? i would solicit advice from them. they must have done something right.


. . .

MelodyGirl's photo
Sat 06/19/10 10:03 PM


IMHO texting is rude. The art of conversation is lost if all you do is text. I personally drop a guy if he insists on texting rather than calling or actually dating me.

That being said, get a sense for how she is responding to you. Pick on her hints if she has a life and needs to get on with her day.

Don’t be sexual; that is a huge turn-off. Besides, if she engages you sexually how will you know she isn’t do that to 5 other guys too?

Use proper dating etiquette and manners. You will be fine! Court her and use a little romance (don't be sappy though). flowerforyou

Remember, how can she miss you if you won't go away! winking


I agree about not being sexual. EXTREME turnoff. And the wondering if she's engaging you can go both ways.

BUT .. I LOVE texting. I don't think it's rude at all. I actually like it better than calling because I can do that while with my children, which of course Melody doesn't have the challenge of :wink:


flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou

eileena9's photo
Sat 06/19/10 10:05 PM

why would you ask for advice from a bunch of single people on a dating site? if any of us had a notion on how to properly approach the opposite sex we wouldn't all be single would we?
do you know any happily married people? i would solicit advice from them. they must have done something right.


. . .


Not married but very happily engaged to someone I met on here.

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