Species: Democraticus Nobrainus

Origin: When God was creating man, he stopped the assembly line for a lunch break. There were fully assembled bodies but their brains were not installed. While God was eating lunch, some of these bodies wandered away without their brains. Being fully functional bodies with the exception of brains and thus unable to think for them selves, they were able to reproduce. These are known today as Liberals.

Habitat: This attractive extremely social animal can be found anywhere, but largest populations are in large urban areas and college campuses but because of the need for constant reinforcement from its peers it tends to avoid rural area because of a lack of its own kind. This species tends to live in high rise nests but also builds individual nests in large clusters called ‘burbs. Nest’s usually decorated in “shabby chic” style to show solidarity with the actual poor but usually have a “beemer” parked in the driveway. Will congregate in large flocks at any location where the government is rumored to be giving something away free.

Diet: Extremely fond of vegetables, ethnic food and cooked insects such as Escargot. Additionally, they have an affinity for the fermented grape juice, the older the better especially if it has a vintage date they can brag about. They can’t get enough of imported junk, Starbucks Coffee or anything that comes from France.

Distress Call: Bushlied, Bushlied Bushlied. This call not only denotes the distress of the species, it also attract other liberals in the area to rally around the distressed animal to defend it from logic.

Mating Call: Hi, I like Hillary. Variations, I like Obamma, I hate Bush.

Mating Habits: Once this species has whipped itself into a frenzy by chanting the mating call it will mate with anything including members of the same sex, barnyard animals and a woodpile if there happens to be a snake in it. Also fond of trying to screw the rich but this is not a mating habit, it is a political mantra. Most politicians of this species spend most of their time “spanking their monkey” rather than trying to do something good for the country.

General Info: This species could almost be tolerated if it were not for the fact that all of species suffers from a medical malady known as “Selective Amnesia” which allows them to conveniently forget any fact that does not support their argument. There is rumored to have been an avian strain of this species but it had two left wings and thus could only fly in circles. Being unable to migrate to a warmer climate it perished in the last ice age.

gardenforge:

I laughed soooooo hard. You are very talented! Love ya.

Lindyy

"Selective Amnesia"



How true that seems to be if you read some of the posts in some of the threads!!! And of course, you're just ignorant if you can't see their twisted logic!!!

Garden;




Okay - now you have got to do ones for Democrat and Republican.
Oh...and since it came to mind on another thread....LaRouche....


Very funny !

Ok, THAT was funny...

Also known as "metro hippies" and be spotted easily because they wear sandals known as Birkenstocks all the time, even in winter. XD

That was the one for the democrats, I will have to give the Republicans some thought. I thought perhaps some of our liberal brothers and sisters would leap into the breech and do that one. LaRouche now there is a subject I can perhaps sink my wit into.

Species: Elephantitus Republicanus

Origin: When God made man, he found a flaw in one human. Inability to tell the truth and absolute blind devotion to authority. Unfortunately he was able to reproduce. These are known today as Republicans.

Habitat: Exclusive white country club enclaves where you can play golf. Non-whites are rarely invited (though mistakes are sometimes made on the guest list). Those who trespass are shot. This species can be found at country clubs, playing golf, or at the casino. Occasionally they show up for work to make sure the worker bees are doing their jobs. Typically some type of
manager or supervisor. Learned the art of firing from Donald Trump. Drives a large Hummer SUV that gets 1 mile a gallon MPG. And why not? They think global warming is a myth, there will always be a supply of oil and don't give a rats patootie about the environment. Older Republicans dodged the draft by getting military deferments or joining the National Guard with a guarantee that they would never go to Vietnam.

Diet: High in red meat and animals they kill. Belong to the NRA and are suspicious of foreigners, especially Mexicans. Fond of expensive scotch and cigars. Watch NASCAR, Fox News and football. Plenty of beer in the frig.

Distress Call: Blame Clinton, Blame Clinton, Blame Clinton. This is in response to any criticism whatsoever of Bush Jr. To them, Bush Jr. is the Second Coming, He Who Brings The Rapture and an Ubermensch. Logic does not work with them. They only parrot Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly or some other neocon tool like Bill Kristol.

Mating Call: I love Bush. I hate Hillary. I hate Obama. I'll vote for McCain (said with some note of regret because he isn't a Reagan Republican like Mitt Romney).

Mating Habits: They tend to marry within their own party. For something less serious, they look for drunk college girls. They like to brag about their accomplishments to impress women, and say how rich and successful they are. Contrary to popular belief, they “spank the monkey” at least as much as liberals, if not more so. But they won't admit doing it, because to them it's a sin, just like the smoking the pot they 'experimented with' in college.

General Info: This species is intolerant of anyone who doesn't have like beliefs to theirs. They tend to become Fundamentalists who believe that the Rapture is coming soon, therefore it doesn't matter what happens to the earth or it's people since it's all going to end soon anyway. Have “Selective Amnesia” about the reasons Bush Jr. started the Iraq War and have many excuses for it which they were spoon-fed by conservative talk show hosts.

Unfortunately, since this species breeds, they will be around for a long, long time.

Oh, and to quote Fanta:

'Damn Republicans!'

Nice !!

Damn..I am a Republican with a beer shortage... damn damn damn

MNHiker~~~ I thought that was fantastic!!
Might I add a constribution..?

Republicans AKA "Moralistic Party", as in my morals must be your own, for surely I am right and you are wrong. I pay more taxes than you do, despite all my tax breaks, and therefore I must be right. I get more say, as I can buy it.

What do you think? Does it deem worthy of an add-in?

oh, these are waaaaaay to funny....

I think this this species still exists. It kept chasing a squirrel around my maple tree till it got dizzy and fell. My Golden Retriever politely picked it up and dumped it in the trash can outside. Very smart Golden! Turned out to be the mayor of my borough. And, he well belongs in the trash.

Lindyy

the democratus unabletothinkamus have also been known to expouse at lengthabout thier belief that "for the Childern" we should give up Guns, as well as other rights and practices not limited to any moral actions or religious beliefs which are outside of thier comfort zone. They tend to abhore anyone who does not accept thier half truths as gospel. They often tend to be Professional truth strechers, using stsstics for thier arguments, but when confronted with other contradictory ststistics, will say something to the effect of " where can i find that on the internet:", or often "statistics dont lie but lyars use ststistics."

(Throws Disaronno a virtual beer.)

Add-ons are always allowed, as long as they are correct.

I am a Republican, I served in Viet Nam, I never belonged to a Country Club and I am sure that you will find more Republicans willing to lift up the minorities than Democrats because we know that if they get off welfare and get good jobs they will become Republicans too. In contrast the Democrats need to keep the minorities down because they need to promise them tidbits to buy their votes. Remember George Wallace was a Democrat, and so was Lester Maddocks and George, at least, loved cigars. There is a long list of Democrats from the South that were racists so please don't play the race card on the Republicans. I am sure that you will find very few Republicans in the KKK.

I used to like good scotch, until agent orange induced Type II Diabetes took that off my menu. Can't stand cigars but wow a gas guzzling SUV with an NRA sticker in the rear window what is not to love?

You left out our High Priests, Bill O'Rielly and Sean Hannity also our High Priestess, Ann Colter, Remember her latest book "If Democrats had any Brains they would be Republicans"

Oh and by the way I was involved in environmental clean-up when you were still wearing 3 cornered pants

It's great to be a Republican no wonder they want to tax us so much

This thread is going to degenerate quickly but I have to say, they are correct, especially the republican one, I know many of those. The liberal one I cannot account for the accuracy completely because I do not know any that are completely like that.

Ok this is going to come as a shock to some of you but I did a little research on LaRouche and while I have no qualms about turning loose with both barrels on the liberal socialists in general, I feel it would be unfair to attack LaRouche personally, he is an old man now, he has served his time, whether justly sentenced or not, and is not all that active in politics from what I read. Anyway he is not in the mainstream so I am going to pass on him.

I just finished a month long tile project in my house and it isn't quite dry enough so that I can hook the trailer with my Dune Buggy behing my Gas Guzzling SUV so I can go out to the edge of the badlands and tear up the environment while blazing away recklessly with my assult rifle at harmless rodents so I may put my evil, warped conservative Republican mind to work on Hillary and Obama.

that sounds better than a republican sheep