When I was 14, all I wanted was a girl with large breasts.

When I was 16, I dated a girl with large breasts, but there was no
passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency, she was a drama queen, cried all the time
and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with some
stability.

When I was 25, I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She was
totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so
dull that, I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

At 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She
rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did
mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me
miserable as often as she made me happy. She was great fun initially and
very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some
ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart, ambitious girl with her feet planted
firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she
divorced me and took everything I owned.

Now I am 42, and all I want is a girl with big tits




Three women who were friends in high school have returned to their
hometown to attend their 45th reunion and have lunch together. Their
talk turns to their position in life, and it's clear that they are
trying to one-up each other.

The first woman says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for
two weeks," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor.

The second woman says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes,"
and looks about with considerable pride.

The third woman says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't
have much money and we don't have any material possessions -- but 13
canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on my husband's erect penis."

After a long silence, the first woman looks shame-faced and says,
"Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you.
We're not really going to the French Riviera -- we're going to my
parent's house for two weeks."

The second woman says, "Your honesty has shamed me. To be honest, my
husband didn't buy me a Mercedes -- he bought me a Taurus."

"Well," the third woman says, "I also have a confession to make. Canary
number 13 has to stand on one leg."

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'd imagine both stories R true 2 you!

NOPE

LMAO that was good darling.

that was good lol hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Ty Darling ice

OMG those both were very good lol

1st 1 true 2nd were's that canary !

Thanks for sharing those, too funny...LOL!
I especially liked the first one...

LOL

aaaaaah that was funny !! I like the first one the best ! but
you relize , when you find those bigguns at about 50 or so they could
smother you !!!