Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: WTF gender double standers
Adeph Joined Tue 01/01/08 Posts: 306	Thu 05/22/08 11:27 AM
I don't think any of us really know what we want anyway, and building up some mental image of our 'ideal' match is kind of silly. Not that it dooms you to failure, I keep an open mind and look where I am.

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Thu 05/22/08 11:28 AM
I don't think any of us really know what we want anyway, and building up some mental image of our 'ideal' match is kind of silly. Not that it dooms you to failure, I keep an open mind and look where I am. Where are you?

Adeph Joined Tue 01/01/08 Posts: 306	Thu 05/22/08 11:30 AM
I don't think any of us really know what we want anyway, and building up some mental image of our 'ideal' match is kind of silly. Not that it dooms you to failure, I keep an open mind and look where I am. Where are you? lol, I just meant on JSH, aka still looking for someone

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Thu 05/22/08 11:30 AM
you guys are getting me all wrong here i dont care about the height thing i mean really iam 22 physicly fit combet vet sergeant in the army if somegirl doesnt want to get with my cause of my height its her loss what iam saying is that on a dating website its accetable for a women to say soemthing shallow like no guys under 5'10 but its not ok for a guy to say he doenst want a women that not physicaly fit or has kids and such. Where does it say that you can't specify that? I have seen guys specify what hair color they want or how long the hair should be. You can specify whatever you want, no matter how shallow it may be. Women will perceive you the same way you are perceiving the woman you are talking about. I don't see what the problem is. hmmm well you have a point but why would anyone wantto be percieved that way as shallow? maybe iam to nice or crazy or something lol no, you are not being honest. If you are shallow, why would you worry about being perceived as shallow? Wouldn't you want to be seen as you really are? Or do you want to come across one way, when in reality you are not that way at all? Just be yourself and you will find the kind of person you deserve.

chris21m Joined Fri 11/30/07 Posts: 32	Thu 05/22/08 11:33 AM
you are wise hickerchick thank you i guess i will just have to stay away form the shallow girls and find me a women

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Thu 05/22/08 11:39 AM
you are wise hickerchick thank you i guess i will just have to stay away form the shallow girls and find me a women Dude you will do fine. I am a large woman. I appreciate when a guy states in his profile that he wants a fit woman, because then I won't waste my time. Don't say "no fatties" because that is rude. But you are certainly entitled to date whoever you are attracted to.

Single_Rob Joined Mon 02/04/08 Posts: 8233	Thu 05/22/08 11:43 AM
riddle solved by the goat

cloudedsunshine Joined Thu 05/08/08 Posts: 1375	Thu 05/22/08 11:43 AM
if they state something that just having it in the profile gets your back up, then bipass her.

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Thu 05/22/08 11:44 AM
riddle solved by the goat goat bows

jonny63 Joined Sat 03/08/08 Posts: 5229	Thu 05/22/08 12:06 PM
I don't think any of us really know what we want anyway, and building up some mental image of our 'ideal' match is kind of silly. Not that it dooms you to failure, I keep an open mind and look where I am. This is why my profile specifies nothing in what I'm looking for. Evidently in the past I was to picky and it didn't work. So now I look for someone that can hold my interest for a while without meeting them in person.

Citizen_Joe Joined Sat 04/12/08 Posts: 4036	Thu 05/22/08 12:18 PM
i dont think there is anything wrong with saying what you want. its all about wording it nicely. Wait, you have to be nice? You haven't watched enough George Carlin skits yet.

grkboy Joined Wed 04/02/08 Posts: 244	Thu 05/22/08 12:25 PM
It's perfectly ok to state what you want in a mate. Just no guarantees you will get that. So the girl who only wants men 5'10" or more can ask for that...but she might end up alone a very long time because the taller men might not be interested in her.

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Thu 05/22/08 12:27 PM
It's perfectly ok to state what you want in a mate. Just no guarantees you will get that. So the girl who only wants men 5'10" or more can ask for that...but she might end up alone a very long time because the taller men might not be interested in her. True, and that is her choice. I likewise, won't settle for anyone who is not intelligent. I would rather be alone.

EtherealEmbers Joined Sun 02/03/08 Posts: 6580	Thu 05/22/08 12:36 PM Edited by EtherealEmbers on Thu 05/22/08 12:39 PM
5'10 is a pretty tall order, but you failed to mention how tall she was. I'm 5'8 and dated someone once who was 5'4... it was kinda cute that I could rest my chin on the top of his head, but in all honesty, I'd prefer someone that can throw me over his shoulder if need be. Actually I'd be surprised if you weren't talking about MY profile and exaggerating about the height requirement... because you looked at my profile today.

lilangel2 Joined Wed 03/05/08 Posts: 9096	Thu 05/22/08 02:03 PM
I viewed one the other day that specified no guys from Texas, Alaska or it might have been Florida. no guys wiff hairy belly buttons HA!

SheDizzy Joined Wed 01/09/08 Posts: 9	Thu 05/22/08 03:02 PM
i dont know if it's stated in my profile or not, but i'm only 5 foot. So I like my guy to be tall... to reach things that i can't. It sounds shallow, and it's not a total requirement. just something i would like. and if it turns out i met a guy 5'1 and fell in love, i wouldn't think anything of it. it's the same thing as a guy saying no chicks that are small busted or only girls with nice legs. it doesnt mean you wouldn't date someone with those attributes, it just means you like certain attributes better.

grkboy Joined Wed 04/02/08 Posts: 244	Thu 05/22/08 04:25 PM
I don't think it's shallow though to want someone taller. I just think it's limiting when some women (not you) will put a height requirement that will cancel out 90% of the men on the site. Like when I saw some women put that they want 6'3" or more. In the end I've learned that you want to pick the few physical requirements that mean the most to you, and leave the rest as "hopeful, but not required". It's all good as long as the profile is inviting to many to contact you. Shallow to me is when one wants physical perfection, especially when they themselves aren't too perfect, but I wouldn't even complain about those people...just bear in mind how much they are limiting themselves and how chronically single they will remain.

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Thu 05/22/08 04:26 PM
I don't think it's shallow though to want someone taller. I just think it's limiting when some women (not you) will put a height requirement that will cancel out 90% of the men on the site. Like when I saw some women put that they want 6'3" or more. In the end I've learned that you want to pick the few physical requirements that mean the most to you, and leave the rest as "hopeful, but not required". It's all good as long as the profile is inviting to many to contact you. Shallow to me is when one wants physical perfection, especially when they themselves aren't too perfect, but I wouldn't even complain about those people...just bear in mind how much they are limiting themselves and how chronically single they will remain. shallow is selecting your partners based on physical traits rather than character traits.