I have always had a propensity toward much younger women (late 20s to
early 30s). Family and a couple friends have viewed this as
inappropriate. Is it any different than a current social phenomenen of
older women and much younger men? My personal view, is that younger
women only seek the respect and socal accolades, that an older man tends
to provide. Commitment is not a factor. What do you think? What are
your views and dating habits?

Are you talking for marriage or for just dating and fun? I see that you
are 52, and if you are dating a girl in her 20s, she is about half your
age.

If you were 29 something when she was born, theres GOTTA be something
wrong with that!!

But they look soooo good...lol oh wait im only 34...whew...

That is how I am thinking Golf, I have a hard time with a 50 y/o man
dating a 20s y/o girl/woman. Seems like he should be dating someone
closer to his own age. I know the 20s y/o haven't had to battle the
aging process like the women in their 40s and 50s had, but wouldn't want
my 20 y/o daughter dating a man in his 50s. I know it happens, but
doesn't feel right to me. If they are truly in love and get married and
live happily ever after, then that is one thing, but just dating, then
moving on to the next one, nope, don't like it.

Exactly Marie, if you should be dating the mother of your girlfriend
then you SHOULD!!

I've done it both ways, younger and older, and I still think it's more
about the person than the numbers. If you like each other, then it's
really nobody else's business.

Over the years, I have gradually developed a set of personal standards
and "deal-breakers," but none of them are particularly age-related. To
me, not getting involved with someone because of her age would be
roughly equivalent to not getting involved with her because of her shoe
size or hair color or whether or not she can play the xylophone.

I hear ya Lex, but Some things are just wrong! I mean, look at the
relationship if it were ten yrs younger! Or even worse, when the 20 yr
old watches the spouse die before middle age.
It sounds alot like an ANNA NICHOL SMITH thing...

Good point Lex, I hesitated to respond to this one for many reasons.
None of my business for one, but just my personal feeling.

Golf -- I don't think Anna Nicole really works as an example of what
we're talking about here, because I truly believe that was strictly for
money. And that's another subject altogether.

But when you say "some things are just wrong," you're moving into an
area that's so subjective as to be impossible to codify. I mean,
"wrong" for who? Under what circumstances? This is just me, but I make
a concerted effort to analyze it when people tell me certain things are
"wrong," in order to determine their motivations for saying that. In
most cases, they have no rational basis for their opinion; it all comes
down to "I don't like it" or "I don't approve," which are not valid
grounds for them to try to impose their values on anybody else. (Not
that I'm saying you're trying to do that, I'm just explaining what I've
observed over many years.)

I feel like this is something I can speak about from experience, having
been in long-term relationships with partners as much as 11 years
younger and 16 years older....

Marie, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't toss in your two cents
-- open forum, and all that, you know!

Very truthful statment Lex. I guess my coments all come down to motives.
I totally agree with you in the context that if you trully love someone
that NOTHING should stand in your way. But in this matter(my bias)the
anna nichol thing is an example of a percentage of age gaped
relationships that are for just that...money, wealth, social gain, or
such. As i said this is my bias, and it pretty much is coming from out
of my a*s, that doesn't mean its right, but it also doesn't mean that
its wrong either.

I guess my hang-up is whether it is a younger wife that he is looking
for or just dating younger girls, one after the other. Falling in love
and marrying a younger woman does happen, and like Golf says, the wife
usually ends up burying him while she is in maybe her 40s?? But if he
is just dating the younger ones because he wants to be seen with the
cute ones, it feels to me like he may be using them to stroke his ego,
but that is a judgment of mine.

I have my own set of standards when looking at someone, and age isn't a
huge factor, but would not go looking for someone 20- something years
younger than me. I judge the whole person, what is on the inside is
more important than window dressing at this point in my life.

Seems I've stirred up a variety of opinions; that's a good thing. And
to think I was worrying about being noticed here (LOL). Thank you Lex,
I couldn't have said it better. I don't look for approval or
disapproval for my social activities. Dating a younger woman isn't
"just for sex". Too many woman within my age group have that as a
primary motive. It's a matter of mutual respect and enjoying each
others company. Where will it go? I don't have the foggiest, but I
enjoy the journey. There is that old saying "age is just a number".

Golf, I agree with you 100% that the whole Anna Nicole thing is a prime
example of a situation where age difference has nothing to do with love,
per se (other than love of green pieces of paper with numbers on them!)
-- that sort of thing would be "wrong" for me, because it's a union
based on materialism and not emotional attachment. I try not to be too
judgmental myself (because it would be hypocritical on my part to do
so), while at the same time recognizing it's not something I would ever
choose to do.

I don't think you're wrong at all, because you have to know what's right
for you; and that's really all that matters. Frankly, I don't think you
and I really disagree much at all, once you get past the semantics.

I agree with Marie, that, if it's just an old guy trying to boost his
ego by being seen with somebody (or somebodies, sequentailly) young and
cute, then, yes, that's a problem, particularly if the girls don't
really discern the guy's motivations. If anyone gets hurt, then that's
where I start seeing the "wrong" in it....

Biker, you raise a very valid question, and I have always felt that we
are all entitled to our own preferences and tastes, so long as no one is
hurt and no one's rights are violated.

I think a huge part of the "stigma" that's been built around the older
man - younger woman scenario is grounded in the perception that the
older man is being "manipulative," or is "taking advantage" of the
women. And this certainly does happen. But not in every case.

It is possible to love someone whose age is not the same as yours, and I
don't think it's feasible to set up a universal standard (i.e., it's OK
if she's 10 years younger, but not 11 --it's a bit arbitrary, and what
could it ever be legitimately based on?). At the same time, the younger
woman will often be perceived as being naive and more vulnerable (which
is sometimes the case, but not always). I think it is that perception
which causes people to question the viability of these kinds of
relationships.

But the right woman, regardless of age, is worth infinitely more than
some outsiders' perceptions....! That's how I see it, anyway.

So long as the girl is over 18, I suppose there's nothing "wrong" with
it, per se. But it just makes a man look foolish (same with women who
date much younger men). Makes you wonder why they can't seem to relate
with women of their own age bracket.

Most older men that I've known who dated younger women did so to show
off yet another "possession," a trophy, if you will. "Look at my job,
look at my car, look at my boat, look at my woman." Some men view dating
younger women as a measure of their worth, their own sense of self
achievement, I suppose.

And younger women don't necessarily look better than an older women by
mere virtue of the fact they happen to be younger; all that depends on
how they take care of their health, skin care, how they apply their
makeup, how they dress, etc.

I'm no longer considered a "younger woman," (well, by Methuselah,
perhaps) but I'm still considered attractive and sexy by a lot of men.
And young guys come on to me all the time and, while it's somewhat
"flattering," I also think it's rather amusing. What would I want with a
kid in his 20s?? I want a real man, not one who's "just starting out."

Sure, these days I have a few more wrinkles, a bit more grey hair, and
gravity has taken its toll in a few areas, but I'm much more comfortable
in my own skin now than I was when I was 20.

Most older men who date younger women seem to be intimidated by the
wisdom and sense of self-confidence that an older woman has gained over
the years. That's been my observation, anyway.

i agree with what jean said...but for me im 43 and would not date
someone close to my own kids age . just the thought discusts me. i guess
the thought of being a molester just sets in my mind. no matter if they
are over 18 or not. just the feeling for me would be horrible. if u dont
feel this way i guess its ok. im not at the age yet where i could even
compare it to dating a grandchild.. uggg gross for me lol. gl
on your venture poorbiker hope u can find some common grounds with your
partner.

Well I agree to a point with eveyone here for me I'm 48 and I'm with
Buttons on this one not gonna date someone close to my kids age. Have
been approached by some here that were in there 20's sorry no can do
call it morals or what ever you want to call it. But ones at that age
don't have the same intrest as I do if they do they need to get out and
live a bit more I'm at the age like to have fun like anyone else but
more laid back in no rush just want to enjoy life with someone already
have my kids and don't want any new ones if they have kids that's fine.
But myself not into dating guys that much younger a few years younger
would not bother me. But I do feel like it you meet someone and it's
there then don't let the age thing get in your way but I do have a limit
at what bothers me as long as it don't bother you or her then who's
business is it anyway. Do what makes you yourself happy and don't worry
about what others think.

Will be 56 this month, have dated as young as 27; just a fling, we both
knew wouldn't last, fantastic young LADY. Oldest 72, great lady, we
enjoy good music together. To me it all depends on what 2 people expect
to get from dating. "Arm Candy" always looks good, but little long term
future for me. I plan on being around a long time, don't know if I
could stand burying another sig. other. So for me, somewherre close to
my age is where I am most COMFORTABLE. That is what it is all about.
We are all different & looking for different things.
Personal choice & desires are what picks the age, younger/older??
I look at the person's CHARACTER FIRST.
Age/looks/weight/color/religion/whatever, all comes second.

I think there is something else to be said about dateing younger women.
And this is based on my personal experiences. Is this right or wrong? I
don't know, but here goes.
I am 57 years old. and many of the women that I have tried to date are
not what I like. I would like to be proud of who I walk down the street
with. The problem with so many women my age is that they are over-weight
and don't seem to care. I feel that if I'm proud of who I walk with,
then I could be more than happy to take care of them. Now I'm not saying
that I would date a woman that is in her 20's. That would feel like I
was trying to impress someone else. but a woman that is a little younger
would be more apt to take care of her self. Maybe (poorbiker) feels the
same as I do?

Let me make a few clarifications here. First off, I don't view the
younger woman situation as a trophy posession. If it turns a few heads,
so be it. She walks next to me, not because what she is, but rather who
she is. Jokingly, I have said to a few of my friends, that I suffer
from the Peter Pan Syndrome; I never want to grow up. My general out
look on thinks happens to be a much younger and fresher view than my
peers. I have never said I date the younger women excluseively.
Unfortunately, the women in my age bracket who I have been attracted to,
have left me very disappointed. Many have spent an entire evening
condemning their "exs'" (exhusbands or exboyfriends). There is no room
for a new love in their heart, as it is already filled with hate. Many
other have had their own agenda, and expected me to fufill it. One
woman in my age bracket that I dated, owned five ankle biters (toy
dogs). She talked to them like they were children, and had developed
the habit of them sleeping with her. She became furious with me when I
asked if we could keep the dogs out of the bedroom during an intimate
time. Do you have any idea how cold a dog's nose is, when pressed
against a personal area?
Most men, weather they admit it or not, are attracted to a particular
part of the female anatomy. Some are attracted by body type, some by
hair color, etc. etc.. You get the picture. In as far as my own taste
goes, the organ I find most attractive on a woman, is located between
her two ears.