Topic: The Pain of Loneliness
sunfun's photo
Fri 03/02/07 02:47 PM
I thought this was be so much easier, I miss my 16 year old, I miss the
animals I resucued at my ranch (he has the ranch I bought with my
inheritnace) is the loneliness worse then the bruises or cuts, I don't
know right now. Bruises go away, but will this feeling, it's been 7
weeks. Where are all my friends that so wanted me to leave him, I don't
know much of anything right now....

dontbeajo's photo
Fri 03/02/07 02:53 PM
So sorry to hear about your struggle and hope and pray it gets better
for you soon.

no photo
Fri 03/02/07 02:56 PM
how did he end up with a ranch that you inherited? that is seperate
property in any state........ but yes, the loneliness is better than him
hitting you.....

Greyhound's photo
Fri 03/02/07 03:11 PM
Sounds as if he got the gold mine, you got the shaft. How did that
happen ?

krowraven7's photo
Fri 03/02/07 03:12 PM
GET into counseling.
make new friends
anger=change
sadness,despair=no change

kntrygal1964's photo
Fri 03/02/07 03:20 PM
hey there, ive been in your shoes. I was in a very abusive marriage and
got out only after the help of my church. that was over 20yrs ago and i
have severe trust issues and live alone but its better than living in
fear, i can do what i want and have my animals and i work with horses
for a living and have the same horse i rescued from abuse over 12 yrs
ago, me and my horse have alot in common he is my best friend. i dont
have many women friends as most of them left when the marriage ended and
never got back any friends after that cause i was so hurt to lose a
marriage and then friends i kinda shut down after a while but am happier
now so if you want a friend who has been there i can be that person. I
will pray for you and you have strenght you never new you had take each
day as it comes but always know you dont deserve to be treated like that
and your life will get better there are many out there like us and some
dont survive.

no photo
Fri 03/02/07 03:20 PM
Hi
The lonliness does go away but the tears for the horses will last much
longer. I have been unlucky myself in living with a man who physically
abused me, another who emotionally abused me, and a third who was so
jealous I couldn't breathe. I had a beautiful mare Quarter Horse and
even bought the jealous one an awsome Paint. He walked away from his
responsibility of the horse, and after struggling for a year, to keep
them both, I had to not only give the Paint away, but my Mare as well.
My heart is broken more from the loss of my horses. After all they give
so very much and ask for nothing in return. I think of them and still
cry, can't even talk about them....but I could no longer afford to board
and vet them, so they needed to find a new loving home. Trust in your
decision to leave....if you can fight for your ranch...do it...if you
can't you need to remember that eveything happens for a reason. We
don't always know why at the time, but eventually we come to realize how
important it was, even if it is 100 years later.

lazyj321's photo
Fri 03/02/07 03:25 PM
SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR LOSS. I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER LATER ON.

no photo
Fri 03/02/07 03:32 PM
I believe you are a survivor in many ways. You are strong and smart.
Keep up the good work. Leaving was the hardest step...they are all
smaller steps from here forward.

Cybear's photo
Fri 03/02/07 03:46 PM
Welcome to JSH~SF.I'm really sorry to hear about this saddening chain of
events that are unfolding currently in your life.I must say this one
paragraph you've just written leads me to many unanswered
questions.1)You need to seek immediate legal advise;this ranch is your
property,not this 16yr.old's(I'm assuming this is your son).Who has
taken control of the ranch?a)husband b)son.?Did you just walk away from
your entire life 7 wks.ago?2)You mentioned cuts & bruises;then you are a
victim of domestic abuse.May I ask why you never called the police at
some point in time;this would be on record for your defense purposes?You
realize under legal statute,that he would have been removed
immediately,this in turn would be on record,in addition your legal and
human rights would not be trampled.Do not forfeit everything in your
life and simply walk away.Exercise your rights immediately and defend
what is yours.As far as your friends they sound fair~weathered to me at
best.Last but not least,yes seek 1-1 counseling eventually once your
priorities are addressed.Just my opinion sweetheart,and hopefully I've
helped.Good Luck;and fight~the~fight girl regardless if you're so called
friends are not there.Godspeed!Cybear.:smile: flowerforyou

Tneal's photo
Fri 03/02/07 03:55 PM
Cybear brings up some good points. I do hope you let us know how things
are going. Good luck to you.

T

niceguy4friends's photo
Fri 03/02/07 04:01 PM
My heart goes out to you. I have been where you are now,and have
weathered the storm. The best advice I can give is to deal with your
faults and fix you. I started to get better when I did this, The pain
and over bearing feeling of being alone has dissipated as time has past.
I don't think I will ever get totaly over the fact that what I worked
for and loved so much is gone. I wish you well' keep talking to others.
Most of all be true to you.

gina22's photo
Thu 03/08/07 10:43 PM
ok has anyone every come to a strange county not like your home i,m from
hungary english not real well where u dont understand almost anything or
anybody

no photo
Fri 03/09/07 09:55 AM
SunFun, you have found friends, read carefully the advice in these
replies...get counseling, find a church where you can meet friends who
will help you. Please know that many of us are praying for you. You are
feeling unloved, but it is true...God loves you!
OleJeb is praying that you will find peace and happiness.

gardenforge's photo
Fri 03/09/07 12:21 PM
Sunfun when a relationship ends or you loose your spouse, your friends
don't know how to deal with it so they avoid you. It's almost like you
become invisible. Further, since you are a young attracitve lady, you
have now become a threat to all your married friends. You will have a
few real friends who will stick by you through this, hold on to them
tightly and they will help you get through this but you will have to
develop another new circle of friends. Hang in there it will get better

VTSweetie420's photo
Fri 03/09/07 02:15 PM
hey hun im young but i was in a relationship for a long time with a man
who beat me and held loaded guns to my head....the fears fade...they
dont completely ever go away but they fade and te pain gets easier to
deal with....you should try going to a battered womens meeting it helped
me alot

tallandtttanned's photo
Fri 03/09/07 02:23 PM
listen i have been seperated for two years and still going through the
pain everytime my two young boy have to go home.
The pain of her not been here has gone out the window a long time ago.
Hey hun all you need is time for this to sink into his head and he may
finaly realize that hitting you was not worth what he is going to get in
the next year or so.