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| Topic: It's not just what you say... | |
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Edited by
thewalrusx
on
Wed 07/02/08 10:37 PM
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It's the way you say it. My mom came to me with a problem about my teenage sisters. I'm a teacher with a year of experience handling some of the worst high schoolers you've ever seen. Apparently my sisters were getting snappy with their attitude and my mom wanted to know what she could say to them to not make it worse.
But here was the real problem: she wasn't frustrated as a mom; she was actually hurt as though there were supposed to be buddies. Just my opinion, that's one of the worsts mistakes you can make as a parent. You are NOT their to be your son's/daughter's friend; you are there to do whats best for them, regardless of how they feel. Teens are gonna have attitude because that's part of growing up (as long as its not out of hand), so there's no need to take it personally. Don't threaten with punishments without any intention of enforcing it (with the hope that your kids will suddenly love you out of fear). Kids catch on to inconsistency real fast (especially teens). I told my mom the next time they gave her lip to just pull a poker face and say: "I guess you don't want to go to your friends house tomorrow" then walk away, no arguments, just results. |
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It's the way you say it. My mom came to me with a problem about my teenage sisters. I'm a teacher with a year of handling some of the worst high schoolers you've ever seen. Apparently they were getting snappy with their attitude and my mom wanted to know what she could say to them to not make it worse. But here was the real problem: she wasn't frustrated as a mom; she was actually hurt as though there were supposed to be buddies. Just my opinion, that's one of the worsts mistakes you can make as a parent. You are NOT their to be your son's/daughter's friend; you are there to do whats best for them, regardless of how they feel. Teens are gonna have attitude because that's part of growing up (as long as its not out of hand), so there's no need to take it personally. Don't threaten with punishments without any intention of enforcing it (with the hope that your kids will suddenly love you out of fear). Kids catch on to inconsistency real fast (especially teens). I told my mom the next time they gave her lip to just pull a poker face and say: "I guess you don't want to go to your friends house tomorrow" then walk away, no arguments, just results.  Thanks for the advice
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Wow, you read it that fast?
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Spare the rod.....
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Edited by
thewalrusx
on
Wed 07/02/08 10:43 PM
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No beating is not cool, its not only illegal, immoral, but as a teacher would make me lose my credential for sure.
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How true, I learned the hard way raisin my 3 older children u can't be their "Buddy". They may hate u for alil while but when they are grown and out on their having their families they come to realize why u did what u did and appreciate u for it.
I don't think that rzrback was implyin that u "beat" a child but there are occassions where a spank on the bottom does them no harm and is warranted. |
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You cant' spank teenagers anyway.
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tough love is the way with teens but you also need to be available to them.its a fine line.teens are generally a selfish ,dramatic lot so good luck to your mom and you.
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It's the way you say it. My mom came to me with a problem about my teenage sisters. I'm a teacher with a year of experience handling some of the worst high schoolers you've ever seen. Apparently my sisters were getting snappy with their attitude and my mom wanted to know what she could say to them to not make it worse. But here was the real problem: she wasn't frustrated as a mom; she was actually hurt as though there were supposed to be buddies. Just my opinion, that's one of the worsts mistakes you can make as a parent. You are NOT their to be your son's/daughter's friend; you are there to do whats best for them, regardless of how they feel. Teens are gonna have attitude because that's part of growing up (as long as its not out of hand), so there's no need to take it personally. Don't threaten with punishments without any intention of enforcing it (with the hope that your kids will suddenly love you out of fear). Kids catch on to inconsistency real fast (especially teens). I told my mom the next time they gave her lip to just pull a poker face and say: "I guess you don't want to go to your friends house tomorrow" then walk away, no arguments, just results. my sister has a really interesting way of keeping her youngest daughter (age 14) in check with the attitude. every time melissa starts up with the attitude, that's five bucks......the first week melissa had to cough up 50 bucks in two days.....but lately, no attitude. i'm implementing the same thing with her because (no offense to anyonw) she has this extremely annoying habit of calling Shaniqua, Fluffy and all that....i told her instead of five bucks, she'd have to give me ten for calling me Shaniqua and twenty for the "fat" names...... not a single peep from her. |
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