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Topic: Need Advice
no photo
Wed 07/16/08 06:53 PM
Someone, please help...
I am married to a great guy. He is my best friend, but I am not sexually attracted to him. We have been married for 9 years and we have a son who is 4. I love him and don't want to end our marriage.
We have a mutual friend, however, that I have somehow become attracted to. I think about him all the time. I don't know how he feels, but I have this unbelievable urge to let him know I am attracted to him. I don't know if this is the right thing to do. I need a guy to let me know how to handle this and if they would want to know if it were them... I'm not sure whether I would ever act on these feelings... Its hard to tell, since I have no idea how this 3rd person feels. Please help with some opinions from men please. Thanks! I am not a horrible person, so please don't think that I am. I have never experienced anything like this and don't know which way to go.

MAKE_ME_GIGGLE's photo
Wed 07/16/08 06:55 PM
Edited by MAKE_ME_GIGGLE on Wed 07/16/08 06:55 PM
i'd worry more about your marriage and your husband than this other man first of all......

PATSFAN's photo
Wed 07/16/08 06:56 PM
WTFmad

Jules0565's photo
Wed 07/16/08 06:56 PM
Well from a females point of view... try figuring out what's wrong with your marriage.. you obviously were attracted to him at some point noway

zman000081's photo
Wed 07/16/08 06:57 PM
If you are thinking of another man then let your husband know it is over, or seek couple couseling. Cheating is not something I take lighly to.

Jules0565's photo
Wed 07/16/08 06:57 PM
hmm.. attracted to husbands friend.. and also on a dating site?? GEE I WONDER WHAT"S WRONG WITH THE MARRIAGE????????????????????????? JA

mcattygarnett's photo
Wed 07/16/08 06:57 PM

i'd worry more about your marriage and your husband than this other man first of all......

I agree with Giggles.flowerforyou flowerforyou

no photo
Wed 07/16/08 06:59 PM
work on ur marriage if you love him..of not move on!! why waste anyone's time?

MAKE_ME_GIGGLE's photo
Wed 07/16/08 06:59 PM
2nd of all... you state your husband is your best friend... yet you cant talk to him about your marriage???? maybe you need to ponder that thought....

EvyT's photo
Wed 07/16/08 07:00 PM
Why has it taken you 9 years to realize that you are not sexually attracted to your husband.

In my opinion, you had to have had some attraction there at some point to have a 4 year old.

Maybe the thing you should be focusing on is your marriage and how to improve it by talking to your husband (instead of messing around with a mutual friend)

Maybe you should try something new to spark your sex lifein your marriage. Have you guys played dress up. There are a lot of things you can do to spruce up your sex life with your husband.
I would say first off....Try an adult toy store for some games and ideas or search online.

This friend should be the least of your concerns.


no photo
Wed 07/16/08 07:02 PM

2nd of all... you state your husband is your best friend... yet you cant talk to him about your marriage???? maybe you need to ponder that thought....

Yep! on both comments.Geez!some of these Q's.noway
:smile: flowerforyou

MAKE_ME_GIGGLE's photo
Wed 07/16/08 07:04 PM
3rdly... if this "friend" is that much of a distraction... i'd damn sure make sure you keep yourself awayyyyyyyyyyyyyy from him...if not for your own benefit... for your sons!!!

120557's photo
Wed 07/16/08 07:04 PM
Talk to your husband and then see about counseling.

no photo
Wed 07/16/08 07:04 PM
Hey, This was the first sight I found with relationship advice, so that's why I logged on. I'm definitely not interested in finding new people. I just don't know how to deal with the attraction I have for the One other person. I do love my husband. I know that sounds strange, but we are both christians and I guess I'm having a hard time with why I am even so attracted to this other person to begin with. I definitely did not intend for that to happen... Thanks guys for any advice.

no photo
Wed 07/16/08 07:06 PM
most men with a brain in thier head would not get mixed up with a married woman. channel your energy elswhere.

EvyT's photo
Wed 07/16/08 07:08 PM
Trust..it is not my intention to be judgemental, but I am simply saying, try to figure out what's wrong in your marriage, and what you are missing.


Sex is but a small part of a lifetime commitment. We all get bored, but that is not an excuse to look elsewhere.

It means that you guys have some things you need to work on to bring the spark back.

I hope these replies have helped you in some way.

kerbear73's photo
Wed 07/16/08 07:09 PM
You might want to think about a good divorce attorneyfrustrated

lov2fish's photo
Wed 07/16/08 07:15 PM
If your here to look for support on what your doing or about to do ... WRONG!.. most of us here have either been lied to.. cheated on..hurt.. or all... I think you need to step back and take a good look at what your doing to your husband, child, and marriage.. seek counseling or talk to your husband.. DO NOT let yourself near this person your talking about if you have any respect for your husband,child, and marriage. I cannot believe your asking us for advice on how to let this man know your interested in him so you can "possibly" cheat on your husband...
MMM MMM MMM!!! mad rant rant mad

zman000081's photo
Wed 07/16/08 07:17 PM

If your here to look for support on what your doing or about to do ... WRONG!.. most of us here have either been lied to.. cheated on..hurt.. or all... I think you need to step back and take a good look at what your doing to your husband, child, and marriage.. seek counseling or talk to your husband.. DO NOT let yourself near this person your talking about if you have any respect for your husband,child, and marriage. I cannot believe your asking us for advice on how to let this man know your interested in him so you can "possibly" cheat on your husband...
MMM MMM MMM!!! mad rant rant mad


Agree mad rant

kerbear73's photo
Wed 07/16/08 07:19 PM
Edited by kerbear73 on Wed 07/16/08 07:24 PM

If your here to look for support on what your doing or about to do ... WRONG!.. most of us here have either been lied to.. cheated on..hurt.. or all... I think you need to step back and take a good look at what your doing to your husband, child, and marriage.. seek counseling or talk to your husband.. DO NOT let yourself near this person your talking about if you have any respect for your husband,child, and marriage. I cannot believe your asking us for advice on how to let this man know your interested in him so you can "possibly" cheat on your husband...
MMM MMM MMM!!! mad rant rant mad


I agree, My wife cheated because of the stuff that you are talking about, and she didn't care about my feelings, Dont rub that you have someone great in your life on a site where people are looking for someone great.

Maybe you should quit being selfish and be thankful for what you have and make it work before you are on here looking for someone to date.

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