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OK this is sorta a continuation of yesterday's post. This guy I have been dating, not presently due to some problems, well he is on my mind alot. He is financially secure, very, and he loves me and dotes on me and a girl could not ask for anything more, and I like his personality for the most part. He respects me and treats me great, even the sex is good, but I know this is gonna sound really vain, but he is not physically attracting to me...I won't go into the whole thing, but that is the part I am having the most problem with, sometimes I have to talk myself into doing it with him...even though he is a great lover and gives me what I want, the attraction is not complete...everything is there except this..help..should I just suck it up????
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That's a hard one, because IF you were in love with him, that would not even cross your mind.
The attraction would be natural, no matter what he looked like. Just sayin ... |
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Seems like both times that you have posted on this subjest...one of the first things you mention is that he's financially secure.
Maybe your only attraction to him is his mosney and how he spends it on you. If your not physically attracted to him, you have to ask yourself, is the money worth it. If your not happy, he will eventaully notice this and it will only make things harder. |
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NOWAY!!! You have to find someone attractive! I mean that's not everything....but you have to find them somewhat attractive. If your having to talk yourself into having sex with him this early on...not good...lol
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That's a hard one, because IF you were in love with him, that would not even cross your mind. The attraction would be natural, no matter what he looked like. Just sayin ... I swear I cannot tell if I am in love with him, I think about him all the time...course the longer I don't see or hear from him the easier it is getting, it's been two weeks now, but I feel I lost something good, because I am being so picky...I really just don't know, I am confused i guess... |
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That's a hard one, because IF you were in love with him, that would not even cross your mind. The attraction would be natural, no matter what he looked like. Just sayin ... exactly |
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Seems like both times that you have posted on this subjest...one of the first things you mention is that he's financially secure. Maybe your only attraction to him is his mosney and how he spends it on you. If your not physically attracted to him, you have to ask yourself, is the money worth it. If your not happy, he will eventaully notice this and it will only make things harder. Yeah you got....that is part of the attraction...but that is part of his make up with all the other good things about him, damn I am confused,,,maybe I better stay away...thanks |
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Obviously you do not love him! My question is why are you staying with this man? You have only been with him for a few months and your relationship is off and then on again...I just don't understand why you would stay in such a confusing relationship. Its obvious that you can't get along very well or you would not keep breaking up.
Now you have to talk yourself into sleeping with him because he doesn't really appeal to you? Do you really need advice on this? I think your best advice would be this~~Do yourself a favor and walk away from this man. Find yourself someone new that you truly love and can commit to. Why are you wasting your time on someone that you don't care about? If its for financial reasons...sooner or later you will realize that money is not a reason to stay. Money can not buy happiness!! One day you will wake up and wonder where did all the time go....you wasted it on someone that you did not love. Get out and find true love!!!Good luck 
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That's a hard one, because IF you were in love with him, that would not even cross your mind. The attraction would be natural, no matter what he looked like. Just sayin ... Agree |
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NOWAY!!! You have to find someone attractive! I mean that's not everything....but you have to find them somewhat attractive. If your having to talk yourself into having sex with him this early on...not good...lol Oh I did find him very attractive in most ways...but some things turned me off about him too...like I don't know if I could wake up every morning and know that, yeah, here i go again... |
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Obviously you do not love him! My question is why are you staying with this man? You have only been with him for a few months and your relationship is off and then on again...I just don't understand why you would stay in such a confusing relationship. Its obvious that you can't get along very well or you would not keep breaking up. Now you have to talk yourself into sleeping with him because he doesn't really appeal to you? Do you really need advice on this? I think your best advice would be this~~Do yourself a favor and walk away from this man. Find yourself someone new that you truly love and can commit to. Why are you wasting your time on someone that you don't care about? If its for financial reasons...sooner or later you will realize that money is not a reason to stay. Money can not buy happiness!! One day you will wake up and wonder where did all the time go....you wasted it on someone that you did not love. Get out and find true love!!!Good luck TY!! |
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Thanks to you all, it is clearer now what I should do...
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NOWAY!!! You have to find someone attractive! I mean that's not everything....but you have to find them somewhat attractive. If your having to talk yourself into having sex with him this early on...not good...lol Oh I did find him very attractive in most ways...but some things turned me off about him too...like I don't know if I could wake up every morning and know that, yeah, here i go again... LOL!!! RUN!!!! and Run Fast!!! I could not have sex with someone I was not attracted to...It would make me wanna throw up a little in my mouth! LOL! I would rather be attracted to someone and have love then have money...that's just me...of coarse if they have all of those things that's great to! lol |
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I dated a man that was not physically appealing. But he was mentally attractive and when his arm would brush up against mine, it would send little thrills through my skin. The sex turned out to be great.
People can be attracted to other people who are not visually appealing if everything else is there. Obviously, your brain is telling you that you 'should' want this man because he fits what you want for safety and security. But clearly, he doesn't fit the bill of what you want deep down. So it won't work. Now, if you have normally only been attracted to people that take advantage of you, treat you terribly, and so on, I can see where the dilema is coming in. But I just don't know how one overcomes that kind of negative pattern. |
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NOWAY!!! You have to find someone attractive! I mean that's not everything....but you have to find them somewhat attractive. If your having to talk yourself into having sex with him this early on...not good...lol Oh I did find him very attractive in most ways...but some things turned me off about him too...like I don't know if I could wake up every morning and know that, yeah, here i go again... Honestly, it sounds like you have the feelings of being married for 20 years already!!! If you already feel this way, whats it going to feel like in 5 years? Do you think that maybe you are afraid to get rid of him just in case you can't find someone else? I know some people feel that way...thats just crazy though!! I would rather be single then be with the wrong person!! |
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Always take romance over finance. Always.
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these are very good points, and you need to go for your dreams, and not settle. it is better to be alone, than settle for what makes you comfortable more than what makes you happy. talk with him gently, and move on gently, is what i would do if it were me in that position.
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I dated a man that was not physically appealing. But he was mentally attractive and when his arm would brush up against mine, it would send little thrills through my skin. The sex turned out to be great. People can be attracted to other people who are not visually appealing if everything else is there. Obviously, your brain is telling you that you 'should' want this man because he fits what you want for safety and security. But clearly, he doesn't fit the bill of what you want deep down. So it won't work. Now, if you have normally only been attracted to people that take advantage of you, treat you terribly, and so on, I can see where the dilema is coming in. But I just don't know how one overcomes that kind of negative pattern. Yes that is part of my delema, he is mentally appealing and smart and great in almost all ways!! and there was a definite attraction, we had fun together...so much fun...and there was def chemistry.. |
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I appreciate all the advice, looks like I will be alone, oh well, I have plenty to keep me busy...thanks again, have a great day all you lovely ladies with great advice....
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I appreciate all the advice, looks like I will be alone, oh well, I have plenty to keep me busy...thanks again, have a great day all you lovely ladies with great advice.... You have a great day too! And yes you might be alone...but think positive...you won't be alone forever! Just don't settle for something that you don't really want..because in the end it will never work.... |
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