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Topic: Best Divorce Letter ..Ever!
uk1971 Joined Tue 04/10/07 Posts: 22015	Tue 09/02/08 02:25 PM
Dear wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband. P.S. SO. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

ledi180 Joined Sun 04/15/07 Posts: 5910	Tue 09/02/08 02:26 PM


deboshope Joined Sun 08/31/08 Posts: 258	Tue 09/02/08 02:34 PM
too funny. Thanks for the laugh.

The_Pete_Man Joined Sat 09/15/07 Posts: 21383	Tue 09/02/08 02:34 PM
L-M-A-O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amalie Joined Tue 09/18/07 Posts: 1239	Tue 09/02/08 02:34 PM
I think you posted that before... however is still just as funny!! Thanks for your many laughs!

FallingLikeRain Joined Fri 07/04/08 Posts: 180	Tue 09/02/08 02:37 PM
dies laughing omg...ain't karma a funny thing?

Ella1 Joined Fri 06/08/07 Posts: 4443	Tue 09/02/08 02:53 PM
(((((Tom)))))

plp Joined Mon 05/07/07 Posts: 589	Tue 09/02/08 04:28 PM
Busted!!!!! Always stay faithful to your wife or ladyfriend.

plp Joined Mon 05/07/07 Posts: 589	Tue 09/02/08 04:28 PM
Busted!!!!! Always stay faithful to your wife or ladyfriend.

BreAnn Joined Thu 07/31/08 Posts: 48	Wed 09/03/08 03:27 PM
Dear wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband. P.S. SO. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem. wow...that seems familiar...I feel like I may have posted that before ;)