My son is 11, in 7th grade, and about a month ago I find out he has a
girl friend. Well ok, that’s about when I had my first crush. Yesterday
he comes home with an invite to this gals house for a coed birthday
party. It’s a pool party that goes from 5 to midnight. The mom, her
sister and husband will be there through out.
So the question here is, Isn’t that a bit young for a coed party?
Chaperones or not, I’m thinking at this age girls still have their sleep
overs and guys go bowling or laser tag. Input??

Yeah I agree with ya camplight i think that is way to early.

Well, my son ahs been having co-ed parties since he started school. He's
8 now and has a crush that he won't admit to out loud. But he knows the
rules and all parties are chaperoned.

I think at 11 as long as the parents are there, all should be good. I
really doubt that parents are going to let much of anything happen. I
would be more unsure of the whole til midnight thing. Seems a little
late for 11 year olds.

now a days things get crazier and crazier i think it is to soon but
thats just me cause i was still in the house by 8:00pm at 11years old
but now i know some kids that stay out till 10:30 or 11:00pm i just
think thats crazy!again thats just me!!

too early fo dat may'n...ill be scared to be dat gurls parents...ill
feel so unfit....especially it endin dat late at night....supervision or
ont...den whats next....uncle ned makes yuh boy drink sum
booze...lolz...daz crazee

I do not see a problem with it as long as the parents are going to be
there. I mean it is just really a bunch of kids hanging out and
swimming. No different then them being together at school.

Exactly what she said ^^^

Well, my 10 yr old got invited to a co-ed halloween party last yr and I
didn't know the parents - and I'm the over protective mom. I called and
she said there will be lots of adults there but I didn't know any of
them. I asked if it was ok if I just hung out he seemed offended but
said ok. THANK GOD I DID. I couldn't tell you how many kids there
were. She said there would be 6-8 adults - It was her, husband, and one
of their elderly parnents. There was a pool and an open fire pit that I
kept having to tell the kids to get their costumes away from. Then they
had a scavenger hunt - through out the neighbor hood - in the dark,
close to the pond. The kids all took off different directions and I
followed mine. Then a hayride that a few almost fell from the trailor.
I felt like the only adult telling the kids what to do to keep from
getting hurt. At the end of the evening the hostess said it was a good
thing I had stayed and thanked me for my help. There are too many
parents out there that don't supervise their kids correctly - heck look
at the toddlers smoking pot video. I'd never let mine go to something
like that where I didn't know the other kids or the parents. I ask to
hang out and if they get pissed - then oh well. Last yr I had parents
who didn't know me droping their kids off in my drive and not even
coming around front to make sure the kid got inside before they pulled
away.

11 is fine, depends on the time of the party and how late it lasts, you
can always get your child/children before it's over if it's too late for
your liking. It's not like it's a co-ed sleepover.

and biggoz nowadays things get crazier and crazier? hmm when I was that
age we had a co-ed party. That was several years ago, or is that
decades? lol The crazy thing is everyone thinking that anything other
than just a plain old birthday party with these kids is anything other
than that. If it would make you feel better let them go but leave early,
(12 am) is kinda late I mean damn 5 hour party. You could always get
names of whoever is chaparoning the party and do background checks.

CCG overprotection can be good but it can also keep kids from being
kids. How can they live like a child with you being over their every
move? They need protection and there are certain ways to go about it but
hanging around and watching them 24/7 is prob not it

my son is 8 and already has a harem of women..
his isnt listening to my advice of NO girlfriends until he is
forty. YUP! that works!

Defintely too young for a co-ed party. Nowadays girls are getting
pregnant as young as 11! This is when they are at this stage when they
are curious. Unfortuntely curiosity killed the cat!! Keep a close eye
on this. Call it overprotecting but I call it being a responsible
parent.

first rule of thumb: NEVER and I mean NEVER tell a kid no unless you
want them to be curious and to try and find out why you are saying no.
Because they WIL look into ti, I promise you.

2md. There is no reason to ever deny a coed part as long as it is well
chaperoned and not held later than the age groupl should be out. That
leads to segregation, which leads to discrimination, etc.

So, for these kids I would definitely reccomend the party be in the
afternoon not at night (come on folks they are eleven, they should be in
bed by 9pm if not 8pm.), and I would also agree that if you are still
concerned, check out the parent(s) and chaperones and volunteer to
chaperone yourself. If they have a problem with you chaperoning then
you have a legit reason to say no, cause they SHOULD be welcoming all
the extra help. Because like it has been said, this is the age kids are
getting curious.

i personally was prude in 7th grade. i had no desire to even look at
the opposite sex. I had coed parties that werent supervised, and we
played spin the bottle and stuff, but i think it would be harmless. its
better to have things in the open with your children, then to shelter
them, so they sneak around and do things behind your back.

exactly Kristi, that's exactly what I was trying to say back there.

Just remember times were alot different when we were younger. Times are
changing and yes we do need to shelter our children to a certain degree.
By the word shelter I mean be cautious of who your own children are
associating with. Keep the lines of communication open. Make sure to
know all people involved w/this party, children and chapereons. You can
never be too careful while being a responsbile parent. If you feel any
doubt whatsoever ask if you can also chaperone the party. It is better
to be safe than sorry later on.

Hey thanks everybody for the input!
I see we have opinions from all angles, that’s great it makes us rich
in diversity.
Guess my main concern was remembering what I had going on in me when I
was that age – hormones. And just how much a child or std’s changes your
life.
As it turns out, the party in on a mom weekend and if there is one thing
I can trust about my X, those kids will be protected. See, she was a
federal agent for a bunch of years and protection she knows well. Guess
she is meeting the mother a head of time, going to walk through the
house on the party night, give my son a cell phone, arrive there about
mid party time….
Anyway, like some of you have pointed out, times have changes and with
more freedom come more responsibility.

Sounds like the ex has it well in hand bro. Why dont you talk it over
withher, and if you decide to let him stay a bit longer, you could walk
into the part a little while after mom does, in order to pick him up.
That way you also get to know the other famil(ies) adn they get to know
you. If your son does have a crush on this girl then he is gonna want
to see her more often, nd it woudl not hurt for ALL the parents to know
each other, know what I mean?