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| Topic: Ok this is | |
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The issue of trust is complicated. People who trust too readily often get hurt because of it. Sometimes being a little guarded is not a bad thing. I believe there is a certain amount of trust I can give someone immediately, but I can never trust someone completely right off the bat. People who do that are the ones who respond to those stupid Nigerian emails and give people their bank account numbers. Some trust does have to be earned. Sometimes it is earned through time and sometimes because the person's actions show you they are genuine. "Earned" isn't necessarily a bad thing. It just means that you have given me reason to believe I can trust in you. Oh darling you are so wrong. I have never fallen for any scam.....If it's to good to be true....Well it just is. I have seen to many people that don't trust or put walls up because of past crap......Why would you not trust completely from the get go...you have no reason not to trust. No trust imo should be earned unless the person screws up and then of course. It's just like people who keep the walls up and I tell them one brick at a time. Do you know how many matches I would not have in the Matchmaking Game if I allowed people to keep their walls up and to live in the past......Get over it and start afresh....that means trusting someone until they give you reason to not. The heart is a tricky thing....don't make yourself open and stay lonely the rest of your life....Let your be open and the possibilities are endless. I think you are overgeneralizing a bit. To me, there is no black and white here. You can't really say "Trust everyone completely all the time until they give you a reason not to". You also can't say "Trust no one ever." The truth of human nature is that some people are good and some people are not good. It is naive to think they all are. I say that from a realist point of view. It's not because I've been hurt or because I'm bitter about anything. It's just the world we live in. Not everyone is to be trusted, and you can get in a lot of trouble if you do trust everyone that comes along. Maybe your comments were more meant towards everyone in general and not me, but I would also like to point out that my way of doing things hasn't been bad for me. I am madly in love to a phenominal man who is living with me now. I gave him a chance to show me he is worthy of my trust, and it worked out great! I think that a lot of people would rather know that you are choosy and not just willing to trust and date every person that comes along. I'm not really looking for the highest number of matches possible in a "game". Instead, I waited for the person who could show me they were worth gaining my respect, trust, and love. Maybe you have a different philosophy and that's okay, but I don't think you can really say I'm wrong. Of course you can....ok maybe I look at things different.....but I trust all....If I meet someone new I am an open book and I form bonds quick. It's a waste of time to me to put up walls especially if they just are not necessary...and for me it would make me step back and look at myself if I was so damn cynial all the time. And remember you have instincts that are given to each and everyone of us. But what a sad pathetic world to look at the world with no trust or the glass half full instead of full. Life is to live not to say hmmmmm maybe I will get to know this person.....but maybe not.....damn shame if you ask me. I gave him a chance to show that he is worthy......oh man oh man....and who died and left you queen...everyone is entitlted to the chance to get to know you.......and it's not your job to decide who is worthy all are worthy until you find a reason why they are not. And yes answers for me are general..because honestly I don't really know you. And your right I apologize for saying you are wrong. It's just my opinion and based on 10 years of doing these threads and being able to read people...It's what I do. And I see it more and more people not giving others a chance because they "don't fit the criteria" again what a waste of meeting some pretty amazing people. I guess it comes down to being an optimist or a pesimist. I always look at the good in all human beings until they give me a reason to believe otherwise...And that has happen many times. But to hold out getting to know someone just because of fear or unrealistic expectations is again to me a waste. Well, I don't think not trusting everyone unconditionally makes me critical or pessimistic. I do consider myself an optimist. I have never once thought that everything is horrible and bad. I just consider myself realistic. There are a lot of people that can seem smooth and charismatic who are real creeps. Some of the most high profile serial killers of our time were well liked by their neighbors and were able to take advantage of their victims based on their trust. I know that is an extreme example, but the truth is not everyone can be trusted. I give people a chance to know me, and I like getting to know them. The difference is I will not trust someone just because they are there. If once I get to know them they seem genuine and trustworthy, then they start to gain my trust. Your "instincts" and ability "to read people" are basically serving the same function. I'm sorry if it is offensive to you that I used the word "worthy." I don't feel it puts me in the position of being a "queen" if I think that my trust and respect are something special. I think of it more in the terms that good things are worth working for. I don't have some unrealistic criteria or list that people have to meet. I'm not looking for just one thing in particular. It's more that I feel trust is something important, and I don't want to give it away to just anyone. As buttons said, ...everyone is different and everyone reads what one writes differently. I'm certainly not trying to convince you of anything, I just think it's important to realize that there could be other valid opinions out there other than your own. I apologize as well if it seemed that I was trying to invalidate your point.  I seem to be apologizing a lot today....and I sorry I don't know if your critical or pessimistic...but I do know I would like to get to know ya...lol Maybe I am not realistic......And with all serial killers the eyes that are the windows to the soul are their dead giveaways......So again instincts play a huge part. Do you think most people don't listen to that inner voice? I do agree that some can't be trusted....but doesn't it seem like the reverse for most people that they trust no one...and maybe will trust a few. Is it me or should that be the other way around? I guess that is just a big difference I do give it to anyone.....Everyone I will be friends with...doesn't mean that were going to be BBF's. But I think everyone on earth needs friends...and I don't put criteria for friends...I know of a lot of people that don't give certain people the time of day....beause their weird, or whatever...and that to me is sad....everyone is weird in their own way....but that is not a valid excuse for shunting people. I have been accused many times of being to nice.....Is that really a bad thing...well when I weighed it out for a few days....heck no.. I would rather be to nice then be a ****wad that no wants to talk to.....and even the ****wads' needs friends. I agree about others opinions..... I have learned a lot from what others have to say. And no apology necessary....we both can get passionate..not a bad thing either... |
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How many ppl would have a 1nighter with a complete stranger before having a 1nighter with some1 they've admired for yrs?
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Describe a 1 nighter?
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Go out either by yourself or with friends and get totally wasted. Go home or their place and have sex. Just for one ex.
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How many ppl would have a 1nighter with a complete stranger before having a 1nighter with some1 they've admired for yrs? definalty w/ someone i dont know before someone i actually liked..... |
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I seem to be apologizing a lot today....and I sorry I don't know if your critical or pessimistic...but I do know I would like to get to know ya...lol Maybe I am not realistic......And with all serial killers the eyes that are the windows to the soul are their dead giveaways......So again instincts play a huge part. Do you think most people don't listen to that inner voice? I do agree that some can't be trusted....but doesn't it seem like the reverse for most people that they trust no one...and maybe will trust a few. Is it me or should that be the other way around? I guess that is just a big difference I do give it to anyone.....Everyone I will be friends with...doesn't mean that were going to be BBF's. But I think everyone on earth needs friends...and I don't put criteria for friends...I know of a lot of people that don't give certain people the time of day....beause their weird, or whatever...and that to me is sad....everyone is weird in their own way....but that is not a valid excuse for shunting people. I have been accused many times of being to nice.....Is that really a bad thing...well when I weighed it out for a few days....heck no.. I would rather be to nice then be a ****wad that no wants to talk to.....and even the ****wads' needs friends. I agree about others opinions..... I have learned a lot from what others have to say. And no apology necessary....we both can get passionate..not a bad thing either... I know exactly what you mean, and I don't really think our perspectives are all that different when it comes down to it. I agree that people make judgements about others far too quickly and generally based on their appearance or whether they live up to some standard of "normal" (like there is really such a thing). I'm all for giving someone a chance. Maybe it's just that our ideas of what trust is are different. When you describe what you mean, it's really close to my own feelings. I think everyone deserves a chance, but my idea of giving them a chance is to talk to them, try to get to know them, then determine whether I think they are trustworthy. It sounds like you let your instincts and feelings do that, too. I guess the difference is that I evaluate first and you are more willing to believe that everyone is trustworthy. I'm definitely not saying that's a bad thing, just a little different than me. The truth is, sometimes people can be good people that I am friends with but not someone I would tell secrets to. That's more what I am thinking of in terms of trust... someone I consider close, that I can confide things in, and that I know I could call to help me no matter what. |
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How many ppl would have a 1nighter with a complete stranger before having a 1nighter with some1 they've admired for yrs? definalty w/ someone i dont know before someone i actually liked..... I agree |
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Describe admired.
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How many ppl would have a 1nighter with a complete stranger before having a 1nighter with some1 they've admired for yrs? definalty w/ someone i dont know before someone i actually liked..... I agree |
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Describe admired. |
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brb gotta go get my son at school
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How many ppl would have a 1nighter with a complete stranger before having a 1nighter with some1 they've admired for yrs? definalty w/ someone i dont know before someone i actually liked..... I agree That's why you always use protection. |
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Protection doesn't always work. Yet like I was just told strangers you never have to see again if you're lousy in bed by their standards.
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Protection doesn't always work. Yet like I was just told strangers you never have to see again if you're lousy in bed by their standards. Nothing in life is 100%, but protection is definitely required if you're going to have a one night stand. I've personally never done that, although I won't say I have never gotten close. I was ready to jump my current boyfriend the night we met, but we waited to have a "real date" first. I guess it was the smart choice because we're still together almost a year later. 
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Protection doesn't always work. Yet like I was just told strangers you never have to see again if you're lousy in bed by their standards. Nothing in life is 100%, but protection is definitely required if you're going to have a one night stand. I've personally never done that, although I won't say I have never gotten close. I was ready to jump my current boyfriend the night we met, but we waited to have a "real date" first. I guess it was the smart choice because we're still together almost a year later. |
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